Family Seems to Want Secrecy?

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It is not that I want to go announce to the world that I have Asperger's, but feeling like I am free to tell who I choose would be nice. However, my family, especially one member in particular, seem to want me to keep it a secret. This makes me feel as though I should be ashamed of my AS. Have any of you dealt with a similar situation?

It's not personal; However to be literal about it, secrecy is very advantageous in your situation (having Asperger's). Just be really careful who you tell

My diagnosis is relatively new and I am relatively old therefore at this time I have chosen not to tell anyone while I am coming to terms with it and may never tell anyone. However, the important word there is I. I have made the decision. You are 19 and therefore the decision is yours and yours alone. However, CharlieSheen is right. Think about who you are telling and why but ultimately it is YOUR choice. And please do not see the diagnosis as a negative. You will have lots of strengths.

They do not have the right to force you to keep it a secret. If it is because they are embarrassed by it, that is their problem.

That said, the real world is the real world, so I agree to be cautious who you tell. Even though employers are not supposed to discriminate, it does not mean they won't. Also people can be mean, and if you have to be prepared for the mean, ignorant things that might be said, if you tell people.

I do not know what motivation your family has. If it is to help you, they should probably clearly express that.

A woman I know wanted to keep her son's diagnosis secret. She explained to me that she didn't want people judging him on his Aspergers. She wanted people to see past a label and see him for who he is. So your family may feel the same way.

To be honest I have never seriously sought out a diagnosis for myself because when I do tell people about AS they generally have no clue what I'm talking about and if I had a diagnosis and told them that's what I have it would mean nothing to them. Your average joe usually isn't interested and it's hard work educating them.

Have you been paying attention to the media???

Honey, chances are, they're trying to protect you.

I know you've spent a lot of your life being told you're this and told you're that and it would feel really good to tell people there's a reason, it's not all a choice, it's not all your fault.

Well-- it is still a choice, it will still be regarded as your fault, and if you think being called rude and bad and stupid sucks, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Just wait until someone calls you a sociopath.

Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut.

I have the opposite problem - my parents sometimes tell people when I don't think it's necessary.

As for your case, sometimes it's okay to tell - just be careful, make sure you know the person well enough and how they're expected to react and use your judgement. There's a possibly telling people can backfire and it seems your family might just be trying to protect you against that.

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