Who do you tell you have AS and how?

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There's a few people I would like to tell I have AS but I'm not sure how they'll take it. They don't know me real well but I don't think they know how to take me. I don't know if telling them will help them understand or make them worse in not understanding. So, for anyone that lets it be known to others, like even employers, how did that work out?

I'm racking my AS brain over this and it's making me crazy.

I don't tell anyone.

Tim

If someone tries to befriend me, I'll explain to them my situation, most of them take it really well.

I've explained it to 3 people in the past month.

The first has actually became my best friend.

The second did notice that I was any different to an NT, so that worked out well.

The Third used to date a guy with Aspergers, so she was really cool about it.

I'm finding society outside of school to be awesome, if you feel that these people need to know then you should tell them, they should be fine about it.

The second I get really upset around someone and start having a meltdown, I tell them that I have AS so they wouldn't think i'm ret*d or schizophrenic. Like i've said before, i'm extremely open about being an Aspie.

So far I have told two friends who adamantly deny I could be autistic despite my trying to explain Aspergers doesn't mean drooling idiot. I also told one co-worker, an online friend, my chiropractor, physical therapist, audiologist, a nurse and a neighbor all of which it backfired with. They now use the Aspergers against me and don't take me seriously or talk to me like I was a low IQ ret*d person or a 4 year old child. Oh and one woman I was introduced to who seems to be scared of me. My neighbor claims it is the fault of the Aspie when NT's are mean to them because they need to work harder at being like NT's. Yes I thought she was cool till she said this and hurt my feelings last weekend.

Long story short ...don't tell anyone.

I tell anybody I feel comfortable with. I'm proud of it, and I feel that it's my duty to enlighten people on what it is. Besides, it totally explains why I am like I am. I don't go around wearing a sign that screams: "I'm an Aspie." However, I tell lots of people, just because of the simple fact that it's nice to have a name. People will think I'm weird, no matter what. Just saying I'm a high-functioning autistic isn't really going to change that...
-OddDuckNash99-

I tell some people I am comfortable with, after all if their true friends or really do like you, they'd understand and accept you for who you are. I normally just say I suffer from AS and it's a social disorder to cut it short.

I've mentioned it to my workmates and to the people I hang out with on a Tuesday night. The three or four meltdowns I've had at work have pretty much meant I've had to say something, for a start. I haven't been able to tell my manager about my official diagnosis yet, but I will as soon as I can.

Droopy,

I have some GREAT experience with things like this. I can tell you EXACTLY how they will act!

1. Some will not care AT ALL, and treat you as they otherwise would!
2. Some will not care AT ALL, and try to help out.

1 and 2 might inquire more, or act like they never heard you. They may also change the subject.

3. Some will save the info to be "used" however they see fit later.
4. Some will immediately act on the information using their feelings about you, and prejudices.

3 and 4 might inquire more, act like they never heard you, change to subject, or immediately treat you different.

SO, #1 will be like nothing happened, #2 may be GOOD, #3 and #4 are BAD! I find that, with something like this, most people fall into #3. That info might not be "used" for over a DECADE! By then, it has degraded into MYTH. There may not be a shred of truth in it.

If I were you, I would try to avoid telling employers. It could be tantamount to burning bridges. I found 3 past companies that told lies about me, and I avoid using them as references. BTW this is the US. In the US it is ILLEGAL to even tell the TRUTH if it is adverse in such cases. So those people are risking causing their companies to endure million dollar lawsuits to tell lies. It just shows you how little trust you can put in people.

Steve

I would tell VERY few people I have AS, as in ONLY people who have been friends with you for more than 5 years and on forums such as this where there is general anonymity. My parents made a very bad mistake of telling two of my now-former friends about my AS. Mind you, at the time, I just found OUT I had AS. These people were very nice to me at first...until one of their good friends (my former pastor)did things that I thought were very inappropriate for a pastor to do. They didn't even listen to my point of view when i confronted them about the pastor and forced me to talk about the issue from only THEIR point of view when i had politely and then adamantly refused. I told another friend just about that I had a mental illness (not even asperger's) , and she rejected me and became distant. So, my rule of thumb is to only tell VERY VERY close friends about it and your therapist and/ or psychartrist. If even the following use it against you (which to me is not too likely) ,then I wouldn't tell anyone about it.

Your former pastor!! !! !! !! !! !?????????? Was she/he a pastor for a given denomination? If so, I out of spite and justice, would tell the governing body about this! It is NOT biblical, technically ILLEGAL, sets a bad precedent, and I believe it is against EVERY Christian, and certainly Catholic denomination! You can then let him/her explain why he/she won't be the pastor anymore, or has to change the name of the church!

The VERY well known Catholic rite of a private confession extends, legally, morally, spiritually, and biblically to EVERY Christian denomination. EVEN if someone felt that you committed a CRIME against them, they are to confront you, THEN tell the pastor, give you time to repent, and only after THAT inform the church. THIS wasn't a crime though, they shouldn't have told the church.

BTW your friends weren't really your friends, and ALSO didn't do the right thing. THEY should have confronted the pastor!

SEE, THIS is why I am bordering on ATHEIST!

Steve

I haven't come across you on Wrong Planet yet, Droopy. So hi.

There are lots of people I would LIKE to tell about AS, too. But usually I wait either for them to guess something, or wait until it comes up in the conversation.

When I was younger (16 - 20, about) it used to be "my big secret". But I'm so much more comfortable now that it's not. (And don't feel any more like it's a curse, which once I did.)

I once saw a work colleague of mine making fun of an autistic kid he used to know in high school, and I desperately wanted to tell him to shut the hell up or at least be more careful who he pokes fun at.

Anyway, the last person I told was someone at work, because he asked me why I wasn't looking him in the eye. It's awkward sometimes, because the usual response is "eh?! What the hell's that?" Which of course burdens me with the chore of having to define AS for them. Not least because outsiders don't understand our lingo.

I tell no one. I am an underground aspie.

I told a friend, because I have know her like forever, so I know I can trust her, also she told me her neurological situation, so I know that she trusts me. She is bipolar, and a trauma victim.

I also told a teacher, that is sort of like a guidance counselor to me, to help her understand why I was so upset.

Last edited by Flow on 15 Jan 2007, 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

I told one of my friends because she has an autistic brother. After I told her, she admitted that she was going to ask me about it, even if I hadn't said anything. She has been very understanding about it. I also told my college roommate because I do not want her to be completely wierded out if I am being overloaded and acting very strangely.

Welll when I tell people, they often either freak out or do what I call, "anti-freaking out" which means they completely deny it and say, no you don't have Asperger's Syndrome, it's all in your head, you're using that as an excuse, you should be less harsh on yourself. My having AS seems to have more impact on OTHER people than it does on me...One friend freaked out and said, I don't want to hear or know anything about you that isn't normal. I told my suprivisor at work recently, I think I can trust him. I told an older gentleman at work because his 7 year old has AS and I wanted to dispell some myths that AS kids can't have careers in the military. I also told the guy I'm dating, which had a great effect . . .he started researching it on his own and found an easier way to explain some of my behaivior to his friends that we were vacationing with. When I told my husband (years ago when I was married) he basicly said, well that's it, you'll never change and you're not good enough for me, so we got a divorce. I haven't had a good history of telling people.