If we all have asperger's...

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And we're all slightly ret*d (I have it too) then how come we can all talk fine on here but not in real life? I have been thinking of suicide for most of my life because I am so lonely and today it has been nonstop. How come I can envision myself talking to people "perfectly" but in real life it comes out like crap and embarrassing and screaming and regret afterwards? I hate my life. I have been to therapists and psychiatrists and they all insist that i don't have asperger's (I think it's because there i can complain about my life and that that's easy but when it comes to small talk and back-to-back conversation, I'm terrible) and so they don't see that. How do people cope with this disorder or syndrome or whatever? How do people continue on knowing you're never going to have "real" friends like in the movies and television shows or not ever have a girlfriend? I'm 21 and dont have friends and am 95% of my time alone, by choice, and I never think I have a problem until I go out to a social occasion with my family and realize i have a problem. then the day afterwards, like today, i want to kill myself over it. How do you people do it? Are you proud of it? I'm sure as heck not.

John, 21 years old, community-college student, have asperger's, please relate.

edit: I'm sorry about the ret*d remark but that is how i feel. i don't feel this is a gift. i feel disabled.

Last edited by drifter265 on 21 Apr 2013, 10:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Not all of us have Asperger's Syndrome (AS), and most of us with AS have no mental retardation.

I dunno. I screw up pretty bad on this kind of communicating too and have to reedit many times before it comes out right. On NT discussion groups I don't really fit in and often come off as a kook or a troll.

Not actual clinical mental retardation, but I feel like "a ret*d" most of the time. A "social ret*d" for sure. A constant screw up. Clumsy, inept and obtuse. I've never been suicidal over it though because I'm morbidly terrified of death. I think about death with stark terror on a daily basis.

Last edited by briankelley on 21 Apr 2013, 10:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What is a NT?

NT are those who brains are wired appropriately, those of us with ASD have badly wired brains.

Neurotypical (n): a term coined in the autistic community as a label for people who are not on the autism spectrum. However, the term eventually became used for anyone who does not have atypical neurology, in other words, anyone who is not autistic, dyslexic, dyspraxic, bipolar, or ADD/ADHD, and has been replaced by some with 'allistic', which has the same meaning as 'neurotypical' originally did. The concept was later adopted by both the neurodiversity movement and the scientific community. In the United Kingdom, the National Autistic Society recommends the use of the term in its advice to journalists.

Nerotypical. Ordinary typical folks who don't have autism or other similar neurological dysfunction.

alright, im sure this is typical of an aperger's-type discussion but what about the DEALING, the DEPRESSION, the HEAVY THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE, the NO FRIENDS? How do you guys deal with it after finding out about your disorder?

I didn't deal with them at all after my diagnosis (which was performed by an appropriately trained and licensed mental-health professional).

Knowing what had been holding me back for the first 52 years of my life simply made everything fall into place - it all finally made sense.

It's not a death sentence.

Yeah, I've always felt like a social ret*d.

I was severely depressed and had thoughts of suicide and didn't get out of bed for 2 months when I was 17 , almost 18. My mum drove me to a hospital ER and made me see the mental health people there. I saw psychiatrists there and they put me on a SSRI and some other meds for agitation and anxiety. The SSRI helped a lot. I was still depressed for a long time after that and continued to see a psych on an out patient basis. The meds helped with the extreme lack of motivation and lack of energy. I denied my diagnosis for years and I was very unhappy about it and what I saw as its potential implications. I was diagnosed when I was 13 but it was one of the things that I was depressed about as an older teenager. So I do understand feeling crappy about it.

Basically you have to treat your mental illness while working on accepting your diagnosis and then you can try to do something about not having friends. You can take courses for adults that teach social skills, you can buy books, you can have private therapy and get individual help for social problems. Your social skills probably won't ever be as good as an NT's because that's one of the major things that ASD impairs but you can definitely improve them and you can definitely make friends. Then you can join groups on something like meetup.com which are basically interest groups and social groups for adults. There you can meet new people and practice such skills. Or you can go to an ASD social group and meet other adults who have the same diagnosis as you, if you want. There might be fewer social demands when interacting with others with ASD.

Good luck, OP

Should a neurological difference like autism be called a mental illness?

I'm thinkling she was refering to the depression, suicidal thoughts as mental illness. Also why I claim to be no longer mentally ill.

That is what I meant. He has to treat the depression first.

Depression is classified as a mental illness. ASD is classified as a developmental disorder.

I wouldn't say I deal with that so well at all, but that was even before I found out about my disorder.....and if the difficulties that caused weren't bad enough I developed depression and anxiety pretty early on, attempted suicide when I was 15 and after I thought I was recovering from that other crap happened that caused PTSD.

Yeah I would rather just have the aspergers syndrome/autism spectrum disorder. Anyways last time I was contemplating suicide I went to the psych ward, currently trying to avoid having to do that again but its not going to great. Some people with AS don't really suffer too much from depression or lack friends though so not sure everyone with AS has been in a position to deal with that.