So much anger!

Post Reply New Topic

I came to this forum looking for ways to help my brother, who I am almost certain is an Aspie. He's such a neat guy, but he's been unable to figure out life as an adult, and I so very much want to understand him better and know how to help him work things out.

I am stunned by the amount of anger toward "NT'S" I see here on the forums and in the comment replies to the articles. So far, I have seen NT's called lemmings, sheep, irrational, stupid, illogical, deceitful, and unprincipled--not because of any moral choices, but simply because they are neurotypical and behave in accordance to a neurotypically defined world.

I'm bipolar with ADHD, so I can't claim to be especially comfortable in the NT world myself, though I know my experience is vastly different from that of those with autism spectrum disorders. However, the amount of vitriol I see here makes me sad. I wonder if this is how my brother sees me. I'm even more illogical and irrational than most NT's because my neuro-abnormality is a mood disorder.

Am I--or anyone else, NT or otherwise--unworthy of respect because our brains operate according to how we were born?

Some rail against how they have to conform to NT's rather than vice versa, and try to comfort themselves by saying that they're better than NTs--smarter, more logical and efficient, etc, etc--and then expect acceptance and generosity in return for that disdain and condescension.

How irrational.

I too find that, while some anger towards NT's is understandable and perhaps even justified, it is still largely unhelpful. It becomes more difficult to be angry towards NT's when one recognizes a few very important ideas.

1. NT's are not one large monolithic group of people. They are still a quite diverse bunch, regardless of how similar they look to someone with AS.
2. There are lots of NT's that also call BS on many of the social norms and practices that those in the AS community tend to criticize.
3. Difficulties between NT's and AS people is usually due to laziness and/or ignorance rather than malice or contempt.
4. Many of the social problems typical to AS are also quite common in NT populations as well. Social anxiety and difficulty understanding non-verbal cues are common problems even amongst the "normal" people.
5. Aspies are more than capable of any of the things that NT's are so routinely accused of with such vitriol.

Personally, while conforming to NT standards can be incredibly frustrating and even downright unfair, responding with anger and hatred is hardly a helpful countermeasure. This does little more than establish a very powerful Us vs. Them mentality, which is damaging to all parties.

I totally agree too that there is so much anger. It does seem that violence breeds violence, negativity feeds more negativity.

Many people here feel victimised and have been bullied to the point that they feel their lives have been irrevocably changed.

Keep trying to make the world a better place.

Last edited by neilson_wheels on 30 Apr 2013, 6:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

As far as I'm concerned it's people who disrespect me that I have a problem with, whatever their neurology. People who are respectful and pleasant towards me are fine.

People deal with their problems in different ways and anger has kept me alive.

Seeing as I'd rather be alive than dead, I'll stick with the anger thanks very much.

Nothing much got changed throughout history without people getting angry and passionate
about wanting things to be different; better

Do you think people didn't get angry about slavery? women not having the vote?

Right here. All that anger may or may not apply to you. Chances are, logically speaking (if there can be said to be such a thing as human logic) your own experiences have made you smarter and more sensitive than some of the a**holes out there.

Take the self-consciousness you feel and turn it into intelligence. You might be part of a solution, and maybe our grand-autistics won't end up feeling so angry, or feeling as if they need anger to survive.

I don't see it.

Anger is always necessary to survive in my opinion

Some people might be able to manage to live their life without anger but I'm not one of them

There's far too many bad things happening in the world to make anger redundant as far as I'm concerned

to not get angry with how the world is I think people must live inside a bubble or something

there's nothing wrong with anger as far as I'm concerned - it's a natural human emotion, no matter how much the DSM-V tries to pathologise it and medicate it away

if you take anger away you neuter a person as far as I'm concerned

I would be cautious not to overgeneralize postings on here regarding NT's as being a representative sampling of Aspie attitudes. Perhaps this forum is one of the very few places where an Aspie can vent frustrations, so an over-abundance of negativity might be expected.

Exactly, one of the functions of WP is to allow people somewhere to vent

But as usual someone has to come on and say we're just ruining their day by expressing our dissatisfaction with all the s**t we have to put up with

^ this

Part of the problem is that ASD is a minority (1-2% of world population), NT is the majority (which by definition also includes other disorders not on the spectrum as well as "normal" people). Whenever negative legislation is made, whenever there is misrepresentation by an organization, whenever ASD is linked to a false representation of the disorder in media, and whenever ASD is linked to a mass murderer or otherwise causes a scare among the ignorant, it understandably disturbs the community here. In some countries (even such as France) ASD is treated very poorly. Even on Google there was a rally against autocomplete listings for "Autistic People Should", including "die", "not have kids", "be exterminated". Google removed these autocomplete listings for autism and some other groups, but searching "Bipolar People Should" immediately came up with "die" as well. Does it make you feel angry that people search that often enough that is is listed on autocomplete? I find it depressing, but the internet itself sometimes just seems like one giant place to put negativity that you deal with in offline life.

I agree with this one, too.

I think anger is a natural reaction when you repeatedly get treated disrespectfully just because you can't be like other people.

Yes. If you really look, it's the frustration of making sense out of a world that doesn't. There's no internal framework for moving from A to B in many situations, so we're left to leap blindly and hope for the best. Over and over again.
There are also plenty of NT/AS dialogues going on. This is very much a support forum, and one of very, very few places that an autistic person isn't "other". It's not about making a positive representation of ASD, or being politically correct. That exists elsewhere... along with the pity, dismissal, and outright ignorance that seems prevalent in the world.

The OP makes a good observation.

There is indeed alot of "nt-bashing" here.
Some of it is healthy, and some of it not IMHO.

In the short run "nt-bashing" is harmless, and even helpful.

The two percent ( or whatever the latest figure that the scientific community has agreed on) who are on the autism spectrum tend to be misstreated by the 98 percent who are not on the spectrum (who are mostly nt)-especially as children by both other children and by adults.

So this is a safe place to vent.

But in the long run it does not help an autistic/aspergian individual to live life in a state of constant anger at NT's.

We are only two percent - so we cant expect the other 98 percent of humanity to conform to us. We are the ones who have to kow-tow to them. Its not fair,but thats the way it is, and thats life. So the purpose of site like this is to exchange tips on surviving in the NT world- not to inculcate hatred of it.

Kow-tow to NTs?



Count me out of that strategy

+1. We do have some individual rights here.