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Questions about a recent Diagnosis with ASD

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Barbinator
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29 Apr 2013, 10:16 am

My 5 yr old son was diagnosed with ASD, or before they get rid of the specific ones, PDD-NOS. The psychologist said it was severe and he had high markers in ALL areas. I have been struggling for 2 years to get him diagnosed in order to get him the help he needs to function.

A lot of people aren't taking his PDD diagnosis seriously, saying it is extremely mild and that's why he didn't get Aspergers. Well, that's not true. He just had markers in more than one area. I was told his specific behaviors she would classify as either equal to Aspergers or worse. Is this biased attitude toward PDD normal? I guess in a way, I'm happy it will all be referred to as ASD.

My main question is sort of legal. I am currently in a legal battle with my ex, who is a foreign citizen. He saw our son for 3 days December of 2011, before that it had been 1 1/2 yrs since his last short visit. He just recently visited for 2 wks, so my ex has seen our son in person less than a month in 3 1/2 yrs. He expects me to send my son overseas for an entire summer with him. Even before the diagnosis, I just knew my son couldn't handle being away from me, he wouldnt be able to take the sound of the plane engine, etc. Not only would he be leaving with an unfamiliar person, but traveling to a completely different environment: different climate, different people, different language, different foods (and he's unwilling to try new foods, extremely picky). It's going to take a few weeks to get my son into the child psychologist, work things out with my lawyer, and all I really need is some peace of mind. My son's well being comes before anything. I do not plan to send my son to a foreign country this summer, as our custody agreement states, no matter the fines I may receive.

My question is, for anyone who may have an ASD or know someone who does, would it truly be detrimental to my son's health/any progress we may have achieved, if he gets sent away for a few months? I honestly don't see how any court system or judge could force me to send my son over, but I just want to hear from someone who has more knowledge about the disorders than I do.

Any advice would be much appreciated. My son has moderate to severe sensory issues, anxiety, and a little ADHD, although that seems to be a symptom of his disorder. When he gets overwhelmed, he bangs his head to the point that I know it has to hurt, but he never notices.

Thanks.
A Concerned Mom.



LupaLuna
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29 Apr 2013, 10:43 am

Barbinator wrote:
My question is, for anyone who may have an ASD or know someone who does, would it truly be detrimental to my son's health/any progress we may have achieved, if he gets sent away for a few months? I honestly don't see how any court system or judge could force me to send my son over, but I just want to hear from someone who has more knowledge about the disorders than I do.


I lot depends. But the potential is there to do great harm. It all about how you son reacts to the change in his environment. There is about a 80% chance that your son may not like it and going to a foreign country is not going to help ether. As far as jet engine noise go. Other then it being loud. I have never had a problem with it and I fly most of the time. I use earplugs.



Barbinator
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29 Apr 2013, 11:15 am

LupaLuna wrote:
I lot depends. But the potential is there to do great harm. It all about how you son reacts to the change in his environment. There is about a 80% chance that your son may not like it and going to a foreign country is not going to help ether. As far as jet engine noise go. Other then it being loud. I have never had a problem with it and I fly most of the time. I use earplugs.


I once took my son to an airport just to gauge his reaction and he did not like it at all. I'm not sure if it was a combination of an unfamiliar place, bright lights, lots of noise, squealing kids, etc, or the whirr of the engines when we watched them pull in by the windows, but overall, without any of the chaos of luggage, layovers, long waiting lines, etc, he didn't seem to handle it well. The public bathrooms are also a no go for him. Once he hears the first whooshing of the automatic toilet, you cannot take him back to the bathroom. Ultimate meltdown/tantrum will ensue.

I'm thinking of taking him back and recording the whole incident.



LupaLuna
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29 Apr 2013, 12:46 pm

Barbinator wrote:
I once took my son to an airport just to gauge his reaction and he did not like it at all. I'm not sure if it was a combination of an unfamiliar place, bright lights, lots of noise, squealing kids, etc, or the whirr of the engines when we watched them pull in by the windows, but overall, without any of the chaos of luggage, layovers, long waiting lines, etc, he didn't seem to handle it well. The public bathrooms are also a no go for him. Once he hears the first whooshing of the automatic toilet, you cannot take him back to the bathroom. Ultimate meltdown/tantrum will ensue.

I'm thinking of taking him back and recording the whole incident.


It could be a lot of things but I would start with his hearing. Try putting earplugs or ear muffs on him and see what happens. Also try putting sunglasses on him as well. Unlike visual noise where you can turn your head and look at a white(blank) wall or close your eyes. Sound is omnipresent and can't be easily avoided by simply turning your head. Earplugs and sunglasses will reduce the intensity of the sound and light going to his senses but will not do anything for the complexity of it. Your son, when he gets older. Like I had too. Will need to learn how to identify and cope with his sensory issues. Right now. Your son is too young to know what sensory overload is. As far as he is concern. He thinks that the boogie man is coming after him.



Barbinator
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29 Apr 2013, 1:38 pm

LupaLuna wrote:
Right now. Your son is too young to know what sensory overload is. As far as he is concern. He thinks that the boogie man is coming after him.


You are so right. He does act like it's the boogie man. Once I had our front door partially open and it was windy outside. The door very slowly moved, and in doing so, made a slow, long drawn out squeal sound. My son totally freaked! He was crying and acting like Freddy Kreuger himself walked in! I'm hoping that starting therapies asap and consistently will help with his sensory overload issues.



LupaLuna
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29 Apr 2013, 2:34 pm

Barbinator wrote:
My main question is sort of legal. I am currently in a legal battle with my ex, who is a foreign citizen. He saw our son for 3 days December of 2011, before that it had been 1 1/2 yrs since his last short visit. He just recently visited for 2 wks, so my ex has seen our son in person less than a month in 3 1/2 yrs. He expects me to send my son overseas for an entire summer with him. Even before the diagnosis, I just knew my son couldn't handle being away from me, he wouldnt be able to take the sound of the plane engine, etc. Not only would he be leaving with an unfamiliar person, but traveling to a completely different environment: different climate, different people, different language, different foods (and he's unwilling to try new foods, extremely picky). It's going to take a few weeks to get my son into the child psychologist, work things out with my lawyer, and all I really need is some peace of mind. My son's well being comes before anything. I do not plan to send my son to a foreign country this summer, as our custody agreement states, no matter the fines I may receive.


Sounds like your ex. is a real a**hole. If your ex. has any love and respect for his son then he should fly over here and come see his son instead of having him go over there.



Wandering_Stranger
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29 Apr 2013, 4:04 pm

LupaLuna wrote:
Barbinator wrote:
My main question is sort of legal. I am currently in a legal battle with my ex, who is a foreign citizen. He saw our son for 3 days December of 2011, before that it had been 1 1/2 yrs since his last short visit. He just recently visited for 2 wks, so my ex has seen our son in person less than a month in 3 1/2 yrs. He expects me to send my son overseas for an entire summer with him. Even before the diagnosis, I just knew my son couldn't handle being away from me, he wouldnt be able to take the sound of the plane engine, etc. Not only would he be leaving with an unfamiliar person, but traveling to a completely different environment: different climate, different people, different language, different foods (and he's unwilling to try new foods, extremely picky). It's going to take a few weeks to get my son into the child psychologist, work things out with my lawyer, and all I really need is some peace of mind. My son's well being comes before anything. I do not plan to send my son to a foreign country this summer, as our custody agreement states, no matter the fines I may receive.


Sounds like your ex. is a real as*hole. If your ex. has any love and respect for his son then he should fly over here and come see his son instead of having him go over there.


Seconded. It's not right for the OPs son to be put through this. Even if the child doesn't have ASD, I imagine it would be really awful for them, especially at this age.