Communication.

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I have been told I have rather severe Asperger's, due to the fact that I require a full-time support worker at university and I live in supported housing due to my autism needs. I also have a free taxi service to uni because I have huge difficulties with public transport. I receive government benefits as I am unable to work: last time I tried, I ended up having a massive meltdown and then they didn't want me anymore.

My sensory issues are rather severe, and I have next to no ability to read facial expressions / body language / tone of voice. I also have severe difficulties with theory of mind and making friends.

However, if it is not small talk, and if it is with someone I know, I can carry on a conversation, even if it is usually about a science topic.

I have great difficulty with talking with strangers (if not an impossibility), and I go mute in groups.

However I can have texting conversations with a few select people. Although I find calling on the phone very hard.

My support worker said that I am "quite good to talk to". However she is the only person I am able to talk coherently to at uni, everyone else, I either go mute or talk gibberish.

I also get severe meltdowns, to the point of hurting myself and damaging property. I cannot cope with change or sensory overload.

Is it possible for me to be classed as "severe", yet to be able to communicate well enough with select people? A new person came to view the supported housing on Thursday and I was unable to speak to him, I hid in my bedroom. I can only talk to people if they will talk about science / medicine or trains. I find it really hard to talk about the weather, or what's on TV (I don't even watch TV at all). Figures of speech and jokes are confusing for me. But talk to me about neurological conditions or meteorology and I suddenly become talkative. Although people say that I can be rude.

Is my psychiatrist right in saying that I'm "rather severe"?

For your first question: my opinion is yes, though how you are in different situations may not always be "rather severe".

From your psychiatrist's observation of you, my guess is you appear that way.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a teenager, and a few months ago I discovered by Social Security for disability benefits that I have enough symptoms to qualify for autistic disorder, as an adult. I think I have "moderate" range autism: I need help learning daily living skills to gain more independence, I have occupational therapy at home daily...I do not have meltdowns anymore, though when distressed enough I lose speech completely, some rationality and become dangerous to myself for a short while (so I have to be watched carefully). I may be severely disabled, as I need at least "substantial support" to train skills so I can begin working (I do not know if I can drive and have never worked). I have been described to have the functioning level of a young teenager at most, I am young adult age. I can speak well to few people, others I make sounds and movements as a response or don't respond at all.

Ok that makes sense.

I need daily help with independent living skills too, hence why I am in supported housing.

I have a Freedom Pass which gives me free travel on all public transport in Greater London, as I am medically unable to drive due to seizures and coordination problems.

When you had meltdowns, how long did it take you to recover? I tend to hit people, scream, smash things, hit myself, kick things, and lose the ability to speak. I've been dealt with by the police before when this has happened in public. When I calm down, I end up being non-verbal, or with very limited speech, for hours afterwards, and I often need a dark room to sleep in.

I feel like I'm still 15 years old. I'm 23.

Not for hours. I would become nonverbal, cry for a few minutes, and stim (rocking and hand flapping) the whole time until I was calm. It would exhaust me enough that I would have to sleep after. Lately instead of crying (as I take medication for depression which helps my mood not be unstable) I would still have great difficulty speaking, and sometimes become sensory seeking for pressure (I have bit my hand or hit my head over and over until my occupational therapist made me stop), and would still be exhausted, like after a meltdown.

Which antidepressant do you take? I take sertraline for OCD, which also helps with my general anxiety. My meltdown frequency has reduced a bit since I've been on a higher dose of sertraline, although I still had a huge meltdown recently in London Victoria station. My antipsychotics for my schizophrenia don't really help as much now as I've been on antipsychotics since I was 15 so I've built up a tolerance.

Do you have problems sleeping? The only reason I sleep at all is because I'm on the maximum dose of olanzapine, which is supposed to be very sedating.

I've had my worst meltdowns when I've been in the psych ward; I think that when I relapse, the psychotic episode just adds to the severity of my meltdowns. The only way anyone could stop those meltdowns was to give me the haloperidol injection against my will. I was put in a secure unit several times.

I hate meltdowns. I wish I didn't have them.

Celexa.I have a few other conditions also. No, I have never had much trouble sleeping, except when I used to take Vyvanse (a stimulant for attention deficit) for a short while- I could only sleep for 2 or 3 hours, the rest of the time I suffered from sleep deprivation. I was given another medication to help with the side effects, but I was afraid to take it because I was already taking two others. It did not take long before I refused to take the stimulant, so I was allowed to discontinue.


I am afraid of having meltdowns. I am not able to think clearly during one, there are times I am not aware of danger and I am unable to communicate or think in my usual way, only that I am impaired somehow.

Celexa being citalopram (I don't use brand names). Does it help?

Stimulants can be difficult to handle.

I take sertraline for OCD, olanzapine and amisulpride for schizophrenia and topiramate for migraines. I also have some meds I take sometimes for physical health problems.

Does your ADD still affect you? I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but I no longer come under the diagnostic criteria.

I can relate to the verbal communication thing. At work, people have come right up to me and asked if I speak. The only person I speak to is my Roommate and even then it's only in fragments. This is from my understanding more typical of autism and not Asperger's. Also the extreme difficulty you have fits moderate to severe autism more than Asperger's.

Yes it helps a good amount, I think my meltdowns are less because of it. I think ADD may still affect me, it was last confirmed two years ago. I also have asthma and allergies (due to a weakened immune system before being born prematurely, my mom caught a virus which threatened my life) borderline intellectual disability, and dyspraxia. The dyspraxia affects my speech, it can be difficult to speak clearly.

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I will talk to my psychiatrist about my autism because I am struggling with leaving the house and being around people.

The only medication that has ever made me "social" in any way was aripiprazole. It gave me bad hypotension so I had to stop taking it.

Thanks everyone.

I also talk much easier to people that I am very familiar with (seeing on a daily basis).
I go mute with people I do not know or do not know well or in group-situations, but I hardly experience group-situations as I hardly leave the house and encounter groups.
My autism got assessed as moderate severe and I am on disability now.

I am on benefits too as they said I'm "severely disabled".