What is it like to be NT?

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I am very curious as to how NTs think and perceive things. Any NTs or aspies that have a good idea of what it is like to be NT have any insight on this? This is just out of curiosity of what it would be like to be NT.

I think it would be darn hard for them to describe what it's like. That is like them asking us what it's like to be aspie. Someone once asked me online what it was like being a woman or having a vagina and I couldn't even answer it because I don't know. I have been this way my while life so I can't say what it's like.

It would seem that part of it would be to be able to understand what is being said behind the words. For us, the words are what we mean. For them, the words seem to mean a great deal more, so we, who only listen to the actual words, miss most of what is being communicated. imo

I think there is a lot of focus on status and improving status/keeping high status. I found it helpful to look at animal behavior like chimpanzees and baboons. There is a lot going on, love, hate, survival. A dislike of difference is common.

A huge difference between NT and AS individuals is that NT individuals naturally have a pack mentality as a survival technique - AS individuals don't.

NT people are much more aware of what their social status is and that they have one in the first place - or at least they are usually much more willing than AS people to accept their status and behave according to it. The group-acceptance is typically not important enough for AS people to let them be 'controlled by' their social status in the social hierarchy. Group-acceptance is so important for NT people that they will let themselves be controlled by their social status and the pressure from the group. The reward for that is group-acceptance.

It's either being controlled by your social status or not be completely accepted by the group. You cannot have both. NT and AS individuals represent the two different approaches.

I think the difference between NT and AS people can very well be compared to the difference between dogs (NT) and cats (AS).

Being human and not having a pack mentality is what is considered weird. That is (a big part of the reason) why NT people think of AS people as weird.

Last edited by qawer on 12 May 2013, 3:26 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I don't know what it's like to be NT.

Perhaps the central difference is, that they have social instincts, that aspies don´t have, - that they are better at picking up social signals and react adequately by instinct, whereas aspies, to varying extent, have to study to learn the same.

I just read something about the aspie brain being better at stacking information, than connecting it. That might explain a few things.

I'm not sure about that last part. Maybe it's true for some Aspies but my own experiences don't seem to reflect it. It's possible that I'm only aware of the times that I have applied my knowledge and I don't know how often I'm failing to apply it but as far as I know making connections is relatively easy for me.


The first part I agree with even though learned behaviour can sometimes seem like instinct when it's not. It'd be hard to tell whether all social behaviour is learned by NTs or if they just learn it more easily and naturally. Once you've learned something well enough it becomes second nature and it requires less conscious thought. How do you know whether or not you've learned something so well that you don't have to think about it that much or if it's just instinct? Speaking English seems instinctual to me even though I obviously learned it at some point.

I believe that socialization is instinct for NTs but I have to admit that it can be difficult to tell whether something is instinctual or learned to the point of being second nature.

NTs are better able to adapt to new social situations. Whereas we need to be taught every new social situation intellectually, NTs are much better at extrapolating how to behave from one situation to the next. It's as if they have a complex algorithm in their brain that allows them to just "know" how to react in any situation that we are missing.

While I think the status argument is a good point, I think with aspies it's more that we know that no matter what we'll always be weird or "low status", so we stop caring about status because we realize there's really no point as it's not going to make things better. What's the point of putting on makeup when very few NT guys would ever give us the time of day? What's the point of going to parties when you know you're just going to be an outcast anyway because you're wired to be ill at lease in social situations.

I completely agree with NTs having the pack mentality that aspies lack. I find that the reason NTs are so good at extrapolating and applying intuition and knowledge to novel social situations is because they are way more "in tune" to the herd than we are. They have an innate understanding, a sort of communication between themselves and those around them, a heightened awareness that is sort of like dendrites that synapse onto everyone around them and communicate all kinds of information. Aspies lack this interconnectedness that comes from the herd mentality. We are the lone wolves.

To be frank, it is boring which is why I act extremely eccentric in both public and at home.

Since around my teen years I've been wondering what it's like to be "one of them". I never really knew that the difference was actually neurological - autistic vs non-autistic. I just wondered what it's like to be "not me". I guess I will never find out.

How come NTs here never answer in threads like these?

I think there is a lot to what aspieMD and Jensen said. The issue of us not connecting the dots was discussed in this thread:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt213415.html

I've often wondered what's like to be anyone else.

I wish someone would write a book called "All [insert animal] are NTs". It'd be simplified but easily accessible, just like "All cats have Aspergers" and "All dogs have ADHD"

I've only just seen it. I try not to necro post, so I only scan the current top pages for topics that are active. I almost always stick to four forums, too.

It's difficult to answer because I don't know anything else (other way of being, other mind.) Can people ask some specific questions?

I try to chime in with an NT point of view where I find it appropriate in other topics. I'm here to be helpful. So if you read some of those topics you can sometimes see me or others chiming in with "here's how it looks to me..." types of posts.

My thought of it is being part of a brainwashed globalized children of the corn type mentality but then again this is an outsiders perspective.

AspieOtaku: Because of the wish to adhere to social rules?

The only approximation I can come up with is when I'm completely drunk (rare) and actually "enjoy" talking with other people. Conversation becomes an end in itself, rather than a means to get something (for example, grocery store transaction).

In my ordinary, sober state, I do not enjoy f2f conversation....I find it incredibly boring and anxiety-producing. Thank goodness I've never been a drinker...I don't even like most alcoholic drinks.

It is hard to imagine what it is like to be NT, except that gestures, eye-contact and other forms of body language must be completely natural and fluid, without even thinking.....can't even imagine that! I can't look at a person without being extremely self-conscious.

I also imagine that there is much feeling during social interaction that I, as an Aspie, don't possess. I've overheard NTs talking about how something would give them "shivers down the spine" or a "rush of warmth", for example. Such a rich emotional experience must make gesturing, eye-contact and conversation extremely natural. If you get a pleasureful high just from talking to someone, you would certainly seek them out rather than withdraw or hide.