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Jamesy
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02 Jun 2013, 7:18 pm

I am 23 years old with aspergers.

My parents are already in there mid 50's and I assume (because of the statistics) that I will living at home with my parents until they die. If I do outlive my parents might a care home be the only option available for me once my folks pass away?

Unless of course in the next few decades improvements are made in housing for autistic adults so by that time there might be more options available for me.

I live in the UK.



cathylynn
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02 Jun 2013, 8:16 pm

I have Asperger's and live with my husband in our own home. what are your challenges to being independent?



nebrets
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02 Jun 2013, 8:21 pm

I live on my own. I share a flat with a roommate because of pricing but I am independent.


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hanyo
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02 Jun 2013, 8:28 pm

If your only problem is not being able to work a home wouldn't be the place for you.

If you can do basic things like shop for groceries, prepare food and eat, pay bills (I mean remembering and getting them wrote out and mailed or whatever), and do enough minimal housekeeping so your house doesn't get condemned all you need is financial assistance if you can't work.

A care home is more for if you can't take care of yourself at all.



Jamesy
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02 Jun 2013, 8:30 pm

cathylynn wrote:
I have Asperger's and live with my husband in our own home. what are your challenges to being independent?



Holding down/getting a job, shopping in crowded places, overprotective parents, driving a car.

You get the picture :)



hanyo
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02 Jun 2013, 8:40 pm

Jamesy wrote:

Holding down/getting a job, shopping in crowded places, overprotective parents, driving a car.



Depending on where you live it's possible to get by without driving. My whole life no one in my house ever had a car or a driver's license. We always walked, took the bus, or took a cab if it was important and there was no other way to get there.

I still live with my mother. I don't think I could work but if I had enough money to live on I think I'd survive on my own when she is gone.



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02 Jun 2013, 9:04 pm

Jamesy wrote:


Holding down/getting a job, shopping in crowded places, overprotective parents, driving a car.



To be honest the only one of those which really throws up a challenge to living independently is holding down a job. You can easily wait until less busy times or go to less busy places to shop, as Hanyo said a car isn't mandatory and your parents... well you're 23, you shouldn't let them hold you back.

Without trying to sound too harsh, your options are either try to find a job or remain a burden on your parents and society for the rest of your life. I definitely think you should aim to get a job, even if you can't manage any social interaction there must be jobs available which don't require any interactions right?



Helixstein
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02 Jun 2013, 9:36 pm

I think it's best to move out of home as soon as you finish high school - that way you don't develop bad habits of being dependent on parents. That's my plan anyway.

I think you should just rip the band-aid off, and decide a date you're going to move out and work towards this. Maybe try finding a special someone you could room with... :wink:

Just have some self belief and work towards a goal. You can do it buddy! :)


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layla87
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02 Jun 2013, 9:40 pm

Jamesy don't assume you're living conditions based on statistics, you are not a statistic but and individual!

As far as future options have you may consider:

Disability insurance
Group Home
Living with significant other
Living with a group of understanding friends

etc..



Ann2011
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02 Jun 2013, 10:40 pm

Jamesy wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
I have Asperger's and live with my husband in our own home. what are your challenges to being independent?



Holding down/getting a job, shopping in crowded places, overprotective parents, driving a car.

You get the picture :)

What sort of jobs have you done in the past?



Jamesy
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03 Jun 2013, 5:01 am

in the past I worked in a library in my college, did work experience at my mums hospital and stacked shelves in a hardware store.



Ann2011
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03 Jun 2013, 6:04 am

Jamesy wrote:
in the past I worked in a library in my college, did work experience at my mums hospital and stacked shelves in a hardware store.

I worked in the public library shelving books. It was a great job! You get to work at your own pace and don't have to answer too many questions.
It's nice that you're parents are looking out for you. Push your boundaries though. When they see you are doing something new they will probably be supportive.
Crowded places are difficult; but not impossible. The social interaction is different in crowds - eye contact seems to vary more. I usually fain interest in something and look perpetually distracted.



Jamesy
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03 Jun 2013, 7:20 am

Ann2011 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
in the past I worked in a library in my college, did work experience at my mums hospital and stacked shelves in a hardware store.

I worked in the public library shelving books. It was a great job! You get to work at your own pace and don't have to answer too many questions.
It's nice that you're parents are looking out for you. Push your boundaries though. When they see you are doing something new they will probably be supportive.
Crowded places are difficult; but not impossible. The social interaction is different in crowds - eye contact seems to vary more. I usually fain interest in something and look perpetually distracted.






The challenges we face in life are similar to what left handed people encountered decades ago. Am I right?



Ann2011
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03 Jun 2013, 7:33 am

Jamesy wrote:
The challenges we face in life are similar to what left handed people encountered decades ago. Am I right?

Yeah . . . people try to change what is perfectly natural for us.



Jamesy
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03 Jun 2013, 7:43 am

Ann2011 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
The challenges we face in life are similar to what left handed people encountered decades ago. Am I right?

Yeah . . . people try to change what is perfectly natural for us.


How many decades did it take for left handed people to stop being treated badly?



Ann2011
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03 Jun 2013, 7:48 am

Jamesy wrote:
Ann2011 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
The challenges we face in life are similar to what left handed people encountered decades ago. Am I right?

Yeah . . . people try to change what is perfectly natural for us.


How many decades did it take for left handed people to stop being treated badly?

Don't know, but I think people on the spectrum will always have to modify their behaviour in order to interact successfully with NTs. It's like having to learn a second language. It's never natural, but you can get by.