Getting diagnosed

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Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum. I'm 23. I didn't know what aspergers was until a month and a half ago. When I looked it up I was like "that's me. Oh, that's me too.". It finally checked all the boxes of things I've experienced my whole life. I then took a quiz online and scored a 175/200. This drove me to want to go to a specialist and get a professionals opinion. I found the one and only specialist in the area and made an appointment. Well, I've been going to him for a month already and I still have yet to get a diagnosis. Every time I ask him he keeps saying "it's very likely you have it" and "it's a 95% chance you have it". This isn't good enough for me. I've been in and out of therapy for 7 years and no one ever brought up aspergers and now that I found something that ticks all the boxes for me I want to hear the words "yes, this is what you have and why you've struggled and now let's learn about it and help you" but instead I keep staying in limbo and I'm not accomplishing anything again. He keeps talking about my OCD. The last two therapists I went to have just focused on my ocd. The 5 before that focused on my anxiety and depression. When will a therapist think outside the box? What should I do? Also, what kind of "testing" should my therapist do for my aspergers? All we've done is just talk about my life every session and that's it. Please give me advice on what to do next. Thanks!

I would suggest asking how long his diagnostic process is likely to last.

I totally understand where you're coming from.
It's only in the past couple of years that I've come to realize I most likely am an Aspie, and now self describe myself as one; though I don't go shouting it from rooftops or introduce myself as one.
The first thing I would suggest you do is really think about it; is the therapist you're seeing helping you, or do you feel the rapport is missing?
Do you feel they are helping you with developing coping strategies, and helping you find self acceptance, or do you feel they are stringing you along?

The next thing is what is your alternative; are you sure they are the only ones around that can diagnose and treat Asperger's?
Do an extensive google search, as well as calling up psychologists and psychiatrists in your area; or get someone else to help if this is too confronting for you - a sibling, parent, understanding friend, or partner, especially search looking for Autism Spectrum Disorders or just Autism; since the DSM was rewritten Asperger's is now considered part of the spectrum, and not a separate disorder, so you need to consider this when looking for diagnosis and treatment.

Another thing to consider, is that in most countries the focus is on early diagnosis and treatment for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and those of us who have slipped through the cracks, due to poor knowledge and treatment options when we were younger have learned to compensate over time, and can be harder to diagnose, hence you may find you won't get a 100% commitment to say you have ASD.
It doesn't mean you aren't an Aspie, it just means that over time you have learned to adapt and the signs are less obvious.

The main thing is, label or not, diagnosis or not, and Aspie or not, you need to feel validated, valued, and taken seriously.
If you have anything that is impeding you from living in a more functional and satisfied way, you need to find a way to improve your situation.
You may need to stay with the current guy, you may need to find someone else, you may even find it's more useful to read a stack of books as I have; Temple Grandin, John Elder Robison, and others have written great and helpful books about ASD.
There are also some books by Valerie L Gaus which can be helpful in learning how to use your gifts and compensate for your weaknesses.

I certainly know what you're going through though; I've been in and out of therapy of one sort or another (mostly CBT) for more than 20 years. Each time I've brought up a self diagnosis whether it be OCD, Bi Polar, or now Asperger's I tend to get fobbed off, and somehow it bursts the bubble with the therapist, and I lose confidence in them.
How can they help if they won't validate my concerns and acknowledge that I identify with a disorder and need confirmation or otherwise to be able to put my mind at rest, if they won't help me resolve this?
My most recent therapist actually gave me the details of a Psychologist that specialises in Asperger's so I have a very expensive appointment with her next week.
Until then I will just wait; I've waited 41 years to find out why I feel different, seem to think differently, and generally feel like I don't fit in, another week of waiting in the scheme of things isn't so bad.

At least you've been told at this point that it's fairly likely, I'm still waiting to hear that from someone qualified and experienced as yet.
The most I've had so far was a psychiatrist that said I was definitely on the spectrum, but then she went on to say that most people fit on the spectrum somewhere - which was less helpful than not seeing her!

Good luck, but you may have to accept that at present 95% is as good as you can get; there is no definitive test, as there is still no certainty of exactly what causes ASD - as it is neurological in nature, manifests in many different and sometimes contradictory symptoms, and usually but not always runs in families.
Until they can do a DNA, blood, or brain scan test that will provide a definitive positive or negative result, diagnosis will remain a bit hit and miss. I'd also go with what Cosmic Russ said; ask how long the diagnosis process is likely to last, and if you're not happy, you may have to find someone else, or accept that the 95% is as good as it gets, just don't stick with it if you feel you're being strung along if you don't find it's helping.

What you need is help with the symptoms that make your life difficult; if you can get treatment and help with or without a diagnosis that will help make your life easier to live, that's more important than a label.

After tics, OCD, and ADHD, that's where Aspergers came. I later learned that they weren't as strong as it would be if I only had one of those conditions. Anxiety and BPD are other things that have been brought into question but I have 3 commemorates already and I don't think specialists want to push how many meds they can get in me.

I understand how you feel, but they have their own secret system when it comes to diagnosis (like the free Masons). <sigh>

Soccer: If you have/had any odd sensory experiences, you should tell him about it, because it could be part of the picture.

Thank you for the replies everyone. My therapist knows of my sensory and social issues. He told me that getting a diagnosis of aspergers won't help me though because its my ocd that's effecting me worse. This is far from the truth though. I hate when therapists act like they know you better than you know yourself.

So, should I try to find another therapist that can focus on what I want to focus on or should I just trust that my therapist who's a specialist in spectrum disorders to know best?

It could have an influence on the level of demands on you at work and in studies and possibilities of support in your case, - so I´d say yes. Everyone wiew things through their own filter. Find another specialist who is willing to listen.

Bottom line is you want to know if you have Asperger's or not - yes?

Paying a therapist for treating OCD does not achieve your goal.

Accept or move on. The choice is yours and it is a tough game.