Dear NTs, I do apologise most profusely...

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...for not being able to read or reproduce your monkey gestures to the desired standard.

Seriously, I just have to vent now. Six times this weekend I've been told off for looking "angry", "sulky" or "miserable" - five of those by my mother, and once by a random stranger while I was quietly sitting on a bench admiring the sea! Why doesn't my face do what it ought to do? What is it I don't "get"? It's one thing to smile at appropriate social moments, but it's my default expression that appears to be substandard, and the NTs are ganging up on me specifically when I'm off guard. Many times I've tried looking at myself in a mirror and I can't bloody see the problem, but then I'm face-blind in the first place.

Why is it that when I'm happy and contented and occupied with some unimportant pleasant internal thought - like looking forward to watching my new DVD, or anticipating dinner - someone invariably feels drawn to comment on how miserable I look? I wasn't miserable before you said that, mate, but I'm bloody well getting that way now!

"Cheer up, it may never happen."

... *punch*

I think it is unfair to assume that, because someone isn't smiling, that they aren't happy. I usually have a serious, straightforward, determined look, an indication to me that I am happy and working toward a goal.

I've noticed that about myself too. I can't recall anybody ever commenting on it, but having seen pictures of myself when I didn't know I was being photographed, I've been surprised to notice that my face often doesn't reflect what I'm feeling. This is especially true when I'm concentrating on something. I've done a good bit of acting, so with conscious effort, I can make my face reflect what I feel, but it doesn't seem to happen on its own (especially if I don't think anyone is watching).

Oh yes! How often have I heard that 'cheer up' or 'why are you looking so miserable' when I'm perfectly happy! Gets on your flippin nerves doesn't it. I usually do an inane grin when people say that now. It is annoying.

I second your disgust with unasked for comments.If they are so "good" at reading non-verbal cues,why cant they tell that I have no desire for their inane commentary on my mood?The next worse thing is going to a psychologist who thinks if you are laughing at something "sad"(because the absurdity of life and human behavior)or look "sad" when talking about something good....then you are "out of touch" with your emotions.They would believe what my "face" was saying and not what my words were saying because they had spent years in college learning how to read "monkey cues".

I was looking through the pictures my mother hid from me. I WAS "smiling" in some, but only ONCE a full smile, when I was like 7. My mother always made a note when I smiled, and told me that WA because it was rare. Maybe it was easier with some of my teeth out, who knows. Anyway, in MOST I look miserable, and at one am looking NOWHERE near the camera, and they are ALL "posed"!

The smile means NOTHING! I smile, such as it is, when I am happy, laughing, pitying something, frustrated, angry. In the same cases I may also give an appropriate response, or none.

As for the guy at the beach? Tell him to GO TO HELL! He has no right to ask that, especially in such a case.

Steve

Didn't really have the time to tell him to go to Hell! It was an old guy accompanied by a lady, and first he said something along the lines of "Are you drunk?" ...WTF? I think I might have sort of looked at him wondering why the crap some stranger would say something like that, and that's when he said something like "Not a happy bunny then" in a disgruntled tone, and walked on. The whole encounter would've taken less than a second, during which time of course my brain was whirring like mad all the while, meaning I never had time to formulate an appropriate response

The sort of processing that goes on in my brain - do I know this individual, voice analysis unfamiliar, conclusion: stranger. Parse sentence for literal meaning, was query appropriate to the situation y/n (n), was it a joke y/n (insufficient data), evaluate physical state of self for likely parallels to statement (am holding bottle of pepsi), search for lateral thinking jumps (bottle: drinking: drunk), conclusion: query intended to be humorous, move to stage 2 social interaction interpretation script...

I think that level of conceptual thinking's quite good for less than half a second But it's still not fast enough for an NT.

My brain lags. Any tips for overclocking it?

Ugh I get this all the time. I work at a bar and all the time people are asking me "are you tired?" or "are you bored?". My favorite is "gee you look like you're having fun."

F*ck you.

Hmph. Those silly neurotypicals. Eye contact and facial expressions are overrated.

I am really glad you started this thread; I'd always thought this problem was unique to me. Beside the countless times my mother and coworkers have told me to smile, I also had the problem of people asking me if I was 'lost' when walking around campus or office buildings or even theme parks, which I finally have mastered by looking 'determined'. Another problem I have is with professors (and others) thinking I am 'confused' in class or after receiving instructions, when I am just processing the data or maybe trying to copy down what they wrote before they move to the next board.

I am asked alot about looking mad or angry and really I am not at all. It does get annoying. I also learned to do the smile and nod thing around strangers.

I WISH!! !! !! I figure I can handle like 99.7% of the flirts, etc... That means I could live a normal life! YEAH!! !! ! I have just 2 problems:

1. It is WAY too slow. Sometimes it takes TWO MINUTES(Usually more like a few seconds) to do what should take 1/2 second!
2. Handling asynchronous and random things.

Steve

Try being a flight attendant, where you have to project being happy go lucky and being customer oriented all the time. Ive been razzed by other FAs on me not being happy. I gotten so mad one day I blew up in the FA/Pilots lounge. I yelled that I am f*****g HAPPY when were number 80th in line for departure from JFK and people dont know how to speak/listen to English commands to remain seated. (strangely non-citizens are a bit better than Americans when it comes to keeping that gosh darned seatbelt on).! !"
Of course I gotten into trouble for the outburst when a manager from another office heard my tirade.
I dont smile at times because Im very focused on my job and having to be (hair trigger alert) ready to get 50 peoples asses out of a burning plane while were speeding down a runway for takeoff. As an Aspie Im very much one with the machine and can sense the slightest change in flight dynamics or abberations in the engine harmonics. I love what I do, and work very hard to be intently focused, thats my sign of happiness most normal people fail to recongnize.

oh, yes the teachers at my school tell me to cheer up.
"It's friday! you should be smiling!"
response:
"Oh, be quiet." or *shrug*

"come on, jeanne! smile!"
response:

"rrrright"

i don't react right away when something is funny or someone says to hi to me as i'm passing them in the halls. i hate it when they say hi to me as i'm walking through the crowded halls! how on earth am i supposed to react that quickly!?

i observe charismatic public figures (not politicians - more like famous actors that everyone likes such as sean connery) and i'm surprisingly good at emulating the things society likes about these celebrities. Unfortunately it's a drain on me to keep this up for extended periods of time.

I get people asking me dumb stuff or saying dumb stuff to me. I tend to have a pretty straight forward look on my face. People ask "what's wrong", "why are you so glum?", "cheer up" and more stupid stuff to me a lot