interupting others

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this seems to be the most common autistic/aspergers is that when some one speaks i interpet them and cant find the right time to speak with out coming out as rude. there about to say something but i overlap what they have to say with what i have to say. i dont want to come out as being rude but i dont know the right to speak.

Yes this is something that takes a long time to learn. I'll try and write about what tricks I use to overcome this.

If you're prone to forgetting thoughts and you need to express them in words before they pass, don't. Accept that sometimes if you want to say something, you're not always going to get a chance. I don't know if this is a uniquely autistic thing but in the past I would interrupt people because I knew that if I didn't, I would forget what I was going to say.

When some people ask questions their voice goes higher pitched towards the end of the sentence, and when they are being rhetorical they don't. This is dependent on the person though. If they're being rhetorical, they are most likely about to make another point so there is no need to interrupt. When in doubt, wait for them to pause.

NTs love to talk about themselves (LOL). So if the conversation is about them or their feelings, don't say anything unless you're asked generally. This is very much a generalisation but I find it very true from personal experience as all my friends are extroverted.

It's all about practice in the end though. We will never be perfect at it but we can try.

I may as well be the proverbial interrupting cow because, even till this day, I still don't know when is my turn to speak.

The worst is to talk on the phone. Learning the facial expressions to help guide a conversation helped a little, but remove all that and I am back to square one!

I hate having this problem!
I probably seem like a jerk

Oh yes. I never know when to speak on the phone. My parents are as bad as me. So quite often we keep interrupting each other then get mad over nothing. Or sometimes we have long silence, because each expect it's the other person's turn to talk. I call it my "weekly chore" to call them.

Recently I found that I can manage to read stuff online while on the phone with them, then it's not too bad. I'm not paying attention to what they say, so I don't have the urge to say something and interrupt them any more. Maybe it's bad that I didn't listen, but from what I learned, people usually just want to talk and talk anyway, so it doesn't matter too much that I didn't pay attention.

I do this allll the time without meaning to. I did it a whole lot just yesterday when my aunt took my family out to lunch.
It usually ends up with me and another person trying to speak at the same time, and I assume they're letting me speak after that because they usually stop talking, so I start talking. But they think the same thing, I guess, and they start talking again too. It's awful.

Yep, I have this problem. Thanks aaronzx, for sharing the guides you use.

I find there are some people with a conversation pace that matches mine and we can talk with few interruptive troubles. Then there are others with whom we are always stepping on one another's lines.

Face/face is best so that I can better measure pace based on body language, breathing, and so on. Traditional landline telephones are ok; they are full-duplex so that talking can occur in both directions at the same time, so that even if another person and I talk over one another little information is lost.

The worst for me is cell or mobile phone conversations. Most are quite half-duplex, so dialogue collisions are quite annoying, requiring repeated statements and so on.

One trick is to try and wait for the conversational pause. This is more difficult in a group because more people are waiting to jump in with their comments.

As has been said, you also have to learn to accept that sometimes you are not going to get the chance to say what you wanted.

Yeah, I tend to talk over people more than I'd like. Part of it is that I'll interpret brief pauses in conversation as "OK, you can speak now," when the other person is just taking a breath or something.

I am really bad for this, me and my wife have some real awkward conversations where I talk over her, then I feel she is talking over me as I hadn't finished yet (but probably had appeared to be finished by anyone else's standards)

Worst bit is where I wait for the pause then try to take my turn, problem is that a pause happens, I then think to myself 'ooh a pause, I should probably talk about now, ok here goes then' but by the time all that has gone round my head someone has filled the awkward silence that just happened and I find myself talking over them

I´ve learned over the last two years. Until then I was very bad at it, - and in barging into other peoples conversations too.

My mom and I will sometimes carry on two different conversations at a time.

Sometimes when I want to attpemt at saying something to a group of friends, someone else says somehting and I don't want to be rude so I let them talk, even if they talk on for ages and I forget what I wanted to say. I also don't like it when people interrupt me when I'm saying something I have a strong urge to say all of.

I frequently interrupt myself in the middle of a topic. Luckily I can usually go back to the original topic. Sometimes I do intentionally interrupt others when they are talking about boring stuff and just wouldn't shut up. Politeness is nice, but not at the expense of wasting my time.

I've found that when I'm listening to someone, and trying to anticipate what they'll say next, i'll interrupt them with that thought. I finally realized that I sounded as though I wasn't listening to the other person speak, so now I'm trying to stop doing it.