14 Dec 2013, 5:29 pm
I have a long history of doing interesting, some would say dangerous, experiments on myself in the name of knowledge and bold curiosity. For example, a few months ago I was up late on a Saturday night with nothing to do. But I wasn't tired, no no. I was deeply engrossed watching the master of espionage and seduction ply his trade in Casino Royale 
. Suddenly, the movie came to the part where 007 is poisoned by La Chiffre as Bond is sipping at a Vesper Martini. bond reacts instinctively and grabs a shaker of salt swallows the content and promptly vomits. Hold on one moment, I said to myself, you can use salt as an emetic? For the next hour Bond would be on hold as I worked this out. After a few minutes of research I decided to test this for myself. With a heart rate monitor, etc I quickly downed the saltiest brine that would have caused cardiac arrest to even the stoutest sardine connoisseur. Ten seconds elapsed, a minute, then.. zang! I was not prepared for this, as the floor around the toilet showed. It felt like the entire eastern seaboard had turned into a tsunami that was heading for my toilet with me wildly flaying at the reigns desperately trying to gain some control. But the retreat of the tide did not bring sweet relief. No, now my throat entered Dante's 5th ring of hell as the salt clung and stabbed at any surface of my raw throat. Dry heaving desperately sucked water from the bathroom tap and quickly turned to the toilet to release a fresh wave salt water horror. I wondered what the police would think as they arrived on the scene to find a salt encrusted corpse lifelessly hanging face first out of a toilet bowl. This whent on for roughly an hour before I crawled slowly back to the TV feeling considerably like James Bond as I watched the rest of the movie through burning red bloodshot eyes.
14 Dec 2013, 6:04 pm
14 Dec 2013, 6:35 pm
14 Dec 2013, 7:20 pm
14 Dec 2013, 7:26 pm
