I'm 20 and I still want to hang out with teens and preteens

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mr_bigmouth_502
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14 Dec 2013, 8:31 am

Is this a normal thing for aspies? I sometimes feel that when I talk to my 11 year old cousin or other people younger than myself, I share a bit more in common with them than I do with people my own age. The thing is, I don't really like being around small children, and I don't want to start hanging around middle schools (or granted even high schools now :P) looking for friends, as people would probably see me as a creep. I should also add, when I was younger I would often hang out with kids several years younger or older than me, and most of the friends I currently have are around 1-2 years younger than myself.

Also, I pine heavily for my younger days, when I had less responsibility and I could get away with just chilling with my friends, scarfing down junk food, and playing computer games all the time.



MagicToenail
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14 Dec 2013, 11:03 am

I don't think it's weird at all-most of my friends have always been older.
Do you have brothers or sisters because I heard that getting along better with those either younger or older than you is a "only child" thing, because we never had siblings as age mates to identify with.



qawer
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14 Dec 2013, 12:28 pm

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Last edited by qawer on 14 Dec 2013, 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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14 Dec 2013, 1:32 pm

I think you read the situation pretty well. And it's fine to have friends 1-2 years younger than yourself. And like you say, if you hang around a middle or high school, you are likely to be perceived as a creep.

One thing, people your own age are often the most unforgiving people. So, how about something like community theater or a poker league where they'd be a range of people.

Another tact, longer term, if you like hanging out, how about applying to college and dorm life. I personally, in several different ways, did better at college academics.



League_Girl
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14 Dec 2013, 2:15 pm

Every time I'm around teens, I feel like I am at their level and can relate to them more. Of course I don't actually hang out with them. I did hang out with kids younger than me starting around 4th grade because we had things in common and I could relate to them better. I had a hard time with my own age group. It was easy when I was younger but as we got older, it got harder. Their interests changed and they wanted to do chit chat and I found it all boring. I felt out of place. Then when I was 13 and 14, I made friends with a girl my age who was also an outcast. She didn't have AS so I don't know what was wrong with her or if she was NT who was a loner. She didn't seem to have any friends either. Then she moved. But yet when I got to high school, I wanted a job and earn my own money and drive because I wanted freedom and I wanted to buy all the things I wanted but my parents said no to those things in high school but they let me take drivers ed. Then when I was an adult, I wanted to live on my own and get away from the parties and messes my family makes. I also wanted a family too.


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Paul92
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14 Dec 2013, 2:27 pm

omg, you need to get help straight away, it's not normal.

Just kidding mate, you're fine. Everybody developes psycologically at different rates. An example of this, I have a friend of mine, who is almost 25, and she has the maturity, or a 13 year old. Most of her friends are aged from 14-20.


So I wouldn't worry.



Last edited by Paul92 on 14 Dec 2013, 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jojopa
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14 Dec 2013, 4:26 pm

I'm the same OP, I get on best with kids aged around 6 to 10 and don't let what other people think worry you. I've done both voluntary and paid work with kids for the last few years and had a great time, and people are hugely impressed by how well I can connect with the kids (since my emotional age is the same as theirs). Never had any bad reactions from people about it. Just do whatever makes you happy and screw the negativity, kids are much more fun than adults anyway :-)



StarCity
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14 Dec 2013, 5:31 pm

I'm just the same. In fact I get on better with people either much younger than me or much older.
When I was 30 my best friend was 12. Most people would find that weird but there was nothing weird about it. We were equals. He taught me loads about social skills, and filled in many gaps. Some people found it weird & asked if dodgy stuff was going on. The thing is that it was just their perverted minds that saw it that way. I was 30 but had the developmental skills of a child. His friendship & how I played soccer with local kids as an equal taught me lots about social interaction.
Since then I have grown up. Now my best friend is 18. In fact he is more experienced than me in many ways so I sometimes ask him for advice.

Since going to a club for adults with ASD & also a club for adults with mild LD's I can relate to them. They are the same as me.


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It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.


mr_bigmouth_502
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15 Dec 2013, 7:13 am

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
I think you read the situation pretty well. And it's fine to have friends 1-2 years younger than yourself. And like you say, if you hang around a middle or high school, you are likely to be perceived as a creep.

One thing, people your own age are often the most unforgiving people. So, how about something like community theater or a poker league where they'd be a range of people.

Another tact, longer term, if you like hanging out, how about applying to college and dorm life. I personally, in several different ways, did better at college academics.


Up until my father and my stepmother decided to combine households when I was 17, I was effectively an only child. I never really got used to having siblings though, partially due to the fact that A, as an aspie I don't adapt well to change, and B, shortly before I turned 18, my dad moved to another community to pursue a job opportunity, and I lived with my grandparents, and eventually a family of one of my close friends, for just under a year.

When I decided to move back in with my dad since the school year was over, that's when I really started feeling more of the pressures of living with stepsiblings, partially since I couldn't just get out and hang out with my friends or relatives like I used to.