Gazing into the abyss for extended periods

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So taking a leaf aout of Nietszche's book I propose that in the initial realisation phase of AS its possible to manifest certain traits or at least to exaggerate them unconsciously. My perpetual/pathological self doubting means that ive been analysing my behaviour down to the quintillienth nanometre to try and work out whether this is happening to me

Of course its impossible

Im trying to be objective about something which defines me to the point where I would probably have a nervous breakdown if I discovered that ive been deceiving myself. Theres no way my ego will allow me to be objective. The only escape clause is childhood analysis.

"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster.
And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."
~Friedrich Nietzsche "Beyond Good and Evil", Aphorism 146 (1886).

"There are no facts, only interpretations."~Nietzsche

Nietzsche had some interesting writings and thoughts, and while I believe that a certain amount of inward journey is very important to know what it is that makes you. It is a journey that we take alone, absorbed in the self.

As for manifesting certain traits or exaggerating them unconsciously??? I am not so sure, Our minds naturally seek answers as to why we do what we do. I would see it more as a flood or release after the realization of anything, the mind has a answer to why certain behaviors or traits were there that it worked so hard to hide to fit in with those around. It becomes free to act on them, to let go. It has a reason why it always was a certain way but never had a answer. In time some of those traits become hidden again, the mind continually working for a sense of sanity and balance from the external and internal.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” ~Lao Tzu

I think possibly we give ourselves permission to drop the mask a little.