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SteelMaiden
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30 Dec 2013, 6:10 am

I'm exhausted with real-life interaction.

What steps can I take towards keeping real-life human interaction to an absolute minimum, in today's social society?


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Dillogic
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30 Dec 2013, 6:26 am

Stop interacting with people.



SteelMaiden
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30 Dec 2013, 6:28 am

But how do I do that when people keep inserting themselves into my life?


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IdahoRose
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30 Dec 2013, 6:53 am

I'm pretty socially isolated, I am yet to achieve full-blown hermit-status but I am pretty close.

Here are the basic rules I live by:

- Don't leave the house unless you absolutely have to, such as medical or dental reasons.

- Face to face interactions should only be with the people you share your house with, and even then you should still spend most of your time in your own imagination or on the computer.

- Online interactions are an acceptable substitute for face-to-face interactions, though I realize that even these can become too much at times. If you need a break from Internet socializing, it would be wise to warn your e-friends of this beforehand, or they may become worried/upset/angry with you.

- You will likely find solace in a nocturnal lifestyle, as this minimizes your chances of having to socialize with your housemates, and the absence of sunlight and noise from traffic and other "daily life" sounds will greatly reduce sensory overload. If you are naturally diurnal, however, you may find solace in waking up in the wee hours of the morning rather than staying up until the wee hours of the morning. Basically, find out what sleep schedule feels right for your body and try to time the hours to minimize socialization and sensory overload.



pensieve
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30 Dec 2013, 7:02 am

I have this problem too. I live with a seriously overly social person who just can't understand why I don't enjoy socializing. She's an extrovert who has a wide group of friends whom she gets drunk with and they still love her despite her drunken verbal abuse.

After Christmas, my birthday and early New Year's I'm well over it. I'm actually deliberately ignoring NYE, not even having one drink which I usually would even if I was alone.

I'm actually rather angered that I was thrown an unexpected birthday party which was lame anyway. I know I should appreciate it more but it just says to me that people don't understand that I value my solitude.

So yes, steps to becoming more or less a hermit:

When people ask you to go out tell them you're busy or tired. Might actually help to become busy and thus too exhausted.

Put half as much effort into socialising. Maybe people will start leaving you alone if you're not really engaging them.

Say you're giving up alcohol or dieting and socialising can really interfere with that. It can. I eat and rink so poorly when social.

Just be honest. Say you need your space. Sometimes you have to let people down just to get your own sanity back. I think when you look at it that way it's worth it.

I mean if you really don't have people pestering you to go out it should be relatively easy. I've spent so much time away from people being a novel writing hermit that I actually forgot social skills.


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Nambo
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30 Dec 2013, 7:11 am

Lovely as Rosehill is, you could buy and move to THIS PLACE LINK



SteelMaiden
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30 Dec 2013, 7:30 am

Thanks. I will try those. Tonight I am staying up until 2am. I will incarcerate myself in my bedroom. I enjoy my own company.


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qawer
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30 Dec 2013, 7:34 am

SteelMaiden wrote:
Thanks. I will try those. Tonight I am staying up until 2am. I will incarcerate myself in my bedroom. I enjoy my own company.


But you can still go out for a run, right? I mean you cannot speak to people while running, and they cannot talk to you.

Only saying this because running makes me feel very well.



SteelMaiden
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30 Dec 2013, 10:34 am

I will still go out for solitary forms of exercise.


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AspieTurtle
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30 Dec 2013, 11:32 am

Another option that I will most likely follow after my mate passes away (many years from now I hope!) is to start your own religion where you take a vow of silence. Give it a cool name so people will be like "ohhh!" should you be forced to interact with them for some reason and need to write it out.

"Please excuse me but I am in the Hermitamous Order and have taken a vow of silence."
Bow and slowly make your exit.


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ChrisP
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30 Dec 2013, 11:35 am

I now live in an unnamed cottage down a dead-end lane 30mins walk from a through road, in a hamlet with an unpronouncable name on the edge of a community with a population of 200. I have no doorbell, and the letterbox is at the end of the drive. My nearest neighbour is 150 yards away: my nearest neighbour who speaks my native language is about two miles away.

This is social enough for me.



Toy_Soldier
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30 Dec 2013, 2:19 pm

I can't help thinking this is a temporary feeling or phase. I understand the desire for a lot of private time, but to try and get all personnal time to be private I think leads to too much lonliness and eventually depression.

To try an minimalize interactions during a busy stage makes sense. Just trying to give a caution towards thinking its a good plan for life.



Ron5442
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30 Dec 2013, 7:40 pm

During a period of deep depression and exhaustion I inadvertently discovered that not answering the phone and ignoring answer machine messages and emails caused many people to give up and leave me alone



Dr_Cheeba
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30 Dec 2013, 10:12 pm

A part of me wants to retreat to a cabin in the woods and live off the land like the pioneer days, growing my own food and marijuana and avoiding society all together! I dream about being a hermit. It gives me relief just thinking about.
But then deep down I know a part of me would get lonely and depressed. I need little bits of social interaction to keep me sane and happy. Too much and i'm hiding in my room for days recovering.


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JSBACHlover
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31 Dec 2013, 12:03 am

Steel Maiden: I've been there and done that.

Here's the problem. Get rid of the annoying people in your life. Don't respond to phone calls, etc. Just drop them

But you do need a support group of people who will love you and understand you for who you are. It is not good for man to be alone. A schizoid life spent in isolation is not healthy. The issue at hand is, again, that you need real friends and not fake ones.

Try to find an Aspie group in your town and meet up with them. It's just a start, but it's something.

I'm 44 years old. When I was 20, I was like you and I became utterly miserable. I plea with you to be good to yourself and to try to find a few friends.

Good luck. Don't give up. There are, believe it or not, good people out there.



EzraS
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31 Dec 2013, 12:58 am

I am like that. I spend a lot of time in my room by myself. Thankfully I have no sibs.
When I grow up i want to have some kind of telecommute job I can do from home.
I def like being by myself and left alone the most.