Autism Aspergers sucks

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Ok we all know how crippling having ASD is.

Many threads on here focas on every aspect of what goes on in our minds and our hypersensitivity.

Rather then focas on evert little problem I would like to start a thread on how we can try to get along better in the world.

The social interaction problems we have I want to try and improve.

I don't have a problem with social interaction. It's the people around me that do. I feel like I'm extremely mindful of how I'm communicating and how I make people feel, and then everyone around me is usually rude and careless. But that's just my opinion.

I want to work on being able to focus on things outside my special interest.

What are you thinking Sharkattack? What kind of problem?

I take a walk outside pretty much everyday. When I do that I leave my computer where most of my special interests lie. Sometimes I run into people and have a small talk type of conversation.

Even on here my posts have on occasion been misinterpreted or misunderstood. I try to learn something from that.

I do go to support groups. That means I have to go out to get there. I do get to see how it is a spectrum and get a new perspective s and find out how fortunate I am. They are geared towered solving issues rather listing and comparing them.

I am not down on the listing and comparing problems we do here. People obviously have a strong need to do that after bottling it up for so long.

While I understand my techniques are not for everybody I hope it will be helpful for somebody.

I would like to start fitting in better.

Problem is, each person on the spectrum has their own strengths and weaknesses, even with regards to social interaction.

It's sort of hard to come up with one game plan that'd work for everyone.

That's why people working on that area often need individual therapy sessions.

If you'd like some help yourself, you might want to start by describing what you see as YOUR weaknesses in this area, and we could suggest things that might help.

Personally, I just tried to come up with a description of where the holes are in the fabric of my social skills, and I can't do it. The whole thing is too complex for me to even start. (On my own, anyway.) All I know is if I want to start talking with someone I know, unless there's some specific subject that needs to be addressed (something regarding an area of interest we share), I haven't the slightest idea what to do.

"Oh, HELLO!" is easy.

Then what?

I was talking with one of my few friends about this a while back, and explained the matters of both special interests and small talk.

He tried to counter "But you engage in small talk..." but then stopped and had to admit "...but it's always about the same few things."

Face it. I got NOTHIN'.

I can engage in small talk enough to make the other person (and eventually myself) feel uncomfortable unless it's about those few "same things", and even if it IS about a common interest, it gets old fast.

This is not successful small talk.

My best recent conversation was with a married couple I know and was about...yep...autism. Their grand-daughter is believed to be on the spectrum (tho' not truly diagnosed yet), and the husband, once I opened up to him (have known him for years) admits he can see traits in me, and has for a long time.

Of course, if it hadn't been about one of the few subjects I can actually talk about, that conversation would have lasted about as long as it takes to deflate a balloon...

...And I have NO idea how to change that, because somehow I just don't have the tools most people have.

I remember a video on YouTube in which a young woman with AS said that when she stopped worrying about fitting in, she was able to just pay attention to people. And everything worked better. I haven't made that work, but I think she is mostly right.

just try my best to act friendly and smile a lot.
have found that goes a long ways towards making up for not talking much/at all.

This sounds like me as well. For most of my life, I always figured it was because I was boring and didn’t have anything interesting to talk about.

Well, I suppose that partially explains it. LOL. But there’s something else going on. I am now beginning to think that the way I process information simply makes normal neurotypical conversation difficult. Perhaps it is because I am so detailed oriented. So that, when I am in a conversation with someone else, we are on totally different “planes” (where I am focused on the details, and they only care about the gist). Not surprisingly, my conversations work well when the other party is interested in the details as well. I suppose this is one reason why I am an OK communicator at work (a technical environment), as people generally only discuss the details.

I don’t believe social skill training can change this aspect of how my mind works. But I could be wrong.

I seem to be able to have normal conversations with artistic people. Sometimes I get so into the conversation I kind of forget about myself and focus on the group as a whole. It's a good feeling. I wish that would happen to me more often. I just feel so normal and happy when that happens.

I am sorry I just felt the need to vent.

Aspergers is frustrating at times.

It is true like many on the spectrum my emotions are not stable or at least I don't fully understand them.

Today I feel fine.

I hate the lack of a social life but I am invited to a work social event on Saturday and I am thinking of ways to get out of it.

My life is full of contradictions.

You got nothing to apologize for. We're all in that place too. All any of us can do is just keep trying. I know from my own experience I'm better at interacting than when I was younger (tho it's scarey to think I was worse than this), so some gradual change does happen in many cases.

Guess we just can't fret, should do our best, and if a therapist thinks they can help, consider trying that approach out to see if it brings some improvement.

It's not autism that sucks...what sucks is NT society is unable to accommodate nuerodiversity.

This. For myself, Aspergers is both a blessing and a curse; a blessing in that it grants me heightened senses and the ability to have a vast amount of knowledge in a few different areas, and a curse in that it impairs my ability to "get along" with NT society, as well my ability to handle large amounts of physical/mental stimuli.