Unintentional Insults

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Im sure most of us get unintentional insults or what they call a "backhanded complement".

The other day I heard, "he's such a handsome boy, what a shame".

What is one you remember in regard to your autism?

What I perceived as insults weren't related to my autism. Instead, people zeroed in on my aloneness and wondered aloud, "Why are you not coupled off? What's the matter with you? A young, good looking man like you should have a wife." I was surrounded by narrow minded people so I never said I was gay. They definitely wouldn't understand and would try to change me. You can tell because they were so judgmental to begin with.

being told am not THAT stupid, when they dont understand why am low functioning but can turn on a computer.

yeah when said i was nonverbal autistic in another forum, someone said that maybe her
brother who is LF might really be a secretly smart like me. tried my best to explain it to her.
And like thanks for being amazed that i can type

When people have read something about aspergers on the internet and then say that they know exactly how I feel, when they clearly do not.

But okay, I'm so tired of trying to explain myself all the time.

So let's just say that you are absolutely right. I am sorta ret*d, have no feelings and that I love math. That's just fine!

Been told I know better. Until I learn from the situation itself, no I don't know better. My understanding of things is lower than they expect.

Variations on "you're so smart, why are you so stupid". I'm not sure that those were accidental, though.

"You would be a better person if your parents raised you better."

"They dumbed down your schoolwork."

"You're smart, you should know this."

The other day I heard, "he's such an ugly guy, what a shame".

oh at least she didnt all out denie having autism though shoud have seen the original/very first autism speaks forum where alot of parents of little/young lower functioning kids who had never seen a lower or mid functioning adult before frothed at the mouth screaming like posessed banshees any time autists came on and blew away the stigma and stereotypes of classic autism although they all had a weird obsession with the infamous 'droopy' [she was a member on there],because she is lower to mid functioning and a powerful pro curist.

EzraS, may I ask you a question? Don't feel you have to answer. Can you speak? Or can you only type?

I was totally nonverbal until around 4 and then only monosyllabic until around 8.
These days my problem is aparixa of speech and selective mutism.
So technically I can speak, but not very well. Usually I limit myself to single words like "hello".
If I am really excited or upset I will be more verbal, but it does not come out very well.
When I am really really upset I can string cuss words together pretty good

My father once told me as a teenager it was such a shame I was so handsome, because if I was normal I could actually use it for success in dating. But it was just going to waste in me.

ouch that coming from a dad

I worry that I give unintentional insults, more than I receive them. I always try to think of something nice to say to someone, but I have no way of knowing whether it came across as helpful, or off-base, or offensive, or just plain stupid. I definitely don't have a lot of confidence in my ability to 'empathize' or 'sympathize' with anyone (and struggle to grasp what that even means?)

That's a fun thing about cuss words - they don't necessarily have to be formed into complete or comprehensible sentences to be effective.