Autism/Anxiety

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IRL I can be a kind of anxious hyper person (I'm sure nobody would ever have guessed that from my personality here )! Actually, IRL I'm exactly like I am here, I'm not very good at faking or suppressing myself. However, I have lately been trying to work on my anxiety over social faux paus and other things (another thread made me think of this).

I think there have been a few factors that have made it a little easier to not totally freak out all the time.

Among the people that know me, I have a certain reputation for better or worse. I don't perceive myself as being hated, but I am an outsider. Lately I've come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do that is going to change that, so why agonize of something that I accidentally do incorrectly? If having done it correctly I would still be an outsider, what difference does it make that I did it wrong? I'm not saying I don't try to do things right, I do, but just not to be so hard on myself when I do slip up.

There are some things that I can't manage to do correctly sometimes, such as dress appropriately, it's just too exhausting to deal with all of it, I tend to give up after a certain point. There was a time when I would have also looked down at my clothes and realized I'd done something dumb (like worn something with a tear), and agonized over it all day. Now I just am like, who cares?

But I've been thinking about this - someone on this board (maybe Willard?) said that autism = sensory overload. But how much of autism is actually comprised of anxiety? What I mean to say is, when I leave work I am mostly alone and I like it that way because work and being around people is so difficult that I just want to get a way from that "people" issue as much as I can. When I'm alone, I don't feel like I have to be on alert.

I feel like I'm not saying this too clearly, I wish I could think of better words - but say for instance, the cure everyone is always debating about here - what if somebody could wipe out anxiety in us entirely (I don't think pills do that, right?). Do nothing else, but that. Then how much would that change our world view and our ability to see things that we miss?

I guess I'm just thinking about how all my life I've felt like I was trying to catch up. But what if I was me, but I didn't have to feel like that? Because when I look around where I work, I'm one of the most competent hardest workers there, but I sometimes have big slip ups in attention. Other people just can't do what I know how to do and half the time they don't even care to try. So why do I always have to feel like I have to catch up with them because I have the autism status problem?

Does anybody know what I mean? Sorry, I'm not so clear. But what do you think about it?

I'm not sure what you are talking about. Are you saying that your "autism status problem" (what do you mean by this?) is caused by anxiety and/or attention problems?

I've discovered the hard way that it's very important for me to try to remain quiet and calm, and to measure the words I speak.

This results in fewer verbal and non-verbal mistakes and it cultivates from others greater respect. Because of the results, my anxiety has decreased.

I've been on SSRI's which took care of anxiety and I still had symptoms of autism. I think more higher functioning people have more anxiety than those with severe autism. Social anxiety at least.

Anxiety is a big part of autism but wiping it away will just get rid of some issues, not all.

I think routines could be about anxiety but theory of mind issues and failure to read body language doesn't really seem like it.

For me, I think it would change nothing of my world view, and very little of my ability to see things that I miss (at least not beyond the change you'd get with removing any type of stress from a situation where you were trying to figure something out)... for me anxiety is a secondary problem rather than a primary one.

Last edited by animalcrackers on 04 Mar 2014, 12:06 am, edited 2 times in total.

Also, wozeree, while I don't think we can eliminate anxiety entirely from our lives, I do believe that we can find a status quo. Psychotherapy can help a little. Xanax can help even more, especially during acute episodes, and making the effort to talk with friends. What helps most of all, I think, is being connected in some way to God. God won't make you feel better (that's what Xanax and friends are for), but knowing that He is there for you can get you through those horrible times when all you want to do is die. I think I would have committed suicide a year ago if I didn't believe in a personal God.

I guess what I mean is that I went through a lot of my life feeling guilty for being me, I mean I've always liked myself, but I get so much criticism when I make a mistake for instance, that I think I now magnify every mistake I make tenfold. I see my coworkers make mistakes and nobody makes a big deal about them. I feel like I work harder than anyone because I'm trying to make up for prior mistakes. But when they make a mistake they think nothing of it.

So I feel like if I could stop doing that, then being around people in general wouldn't cost me so much and require so much time alone just to escape it.

Does that make more sense?

By status - what I mean is - as an example I was talking to one of my coworkers today about an awkward moment with one of the bosses.

First of all, let me say that in my department (which isn't huge thank goodness), I'm the one who arranges all the social events because it's very important to me that we have a good working relationship. This coworker sits at her desk and cries a lot, and everyone including me is always trying to comfort her. Last week she was hiding in the bathroom crying and I had to call her out and give her a hug and make her feel better. She's very very needy. But today we were talking and she said to me, You just don't care, you could be nice if you cared. As though first off I'm not nice, and second as if I'm just cold and impersonal and not interested or something.

It's makes no sense, she does nothing for the benefit of the group, while I'm frequently doing things. But because I'm perceived as being different, people say things like that to me all the time. It's inescapable as far as I can tell. That's why I'm starting to feel like, why even bother trying or caring? I mean just do my best as always, but don't try to please anyone, do it because that's who I am and if they don't understand me, F them!

I'm not trying to turn this into a whine fest or anything, I get around well enough and I don't sit at my desk feeling sorry for myself crying, but I just think my priorities have all been wrong all of my life.

So maybe I feel like it's not just the part of my brain that is different, but a lot of it has to do with residue left behind by other people's reactions to me and built up like rust on an old car. But maybe I'm ready to unrust myself!

Some people have structural differences in their amygdala that causes abnormal anxiety.
Sensory overload causes a lot of anxiety.
Any stressful situation will cause anxiety.
Up until a couple of years ago anxiety was not even part of my vocabulary. I heard other people use the word, but I assumed it was just something other people had.
My problems were external to myself or in my brain and not something I was feeling.
But I do have anxiety. I just have a poor vocabulary and problems with understanding abstract words.
I guess I didn't have a word for It so I didn't know I was anxious. I'm a dork.

I would consider a co-worker who sits at their desk crying all the time to be a burden, but that's just me. It's not fair that she is putting it out there for others to spend the time cheering her up. It's sad that she's going through whatever she's going through, but it can be dealt with better than throwing it out there at work. On top of that she says you just don't care. Wozeree, you're better than me. I don't have the patience.

I get very anxious from taking what people say literally. Since I take words as facts, when they clearly aren't, I worry about the issue a lot. So for me anxiety causes a lot of problems, but I'm usually anxious over social and communication related confusion. Because I agree with you, just that it goes both directions. Anxiety can cause what looks like autism and autism can look like anxiety,

With the crying coworker who said " you just do to care, you could be nice if you cared" I think more than likely she was frustrated and didn't give much thought to her words. And that most people hearing (who don't wonder about their social abilities) would not internize this as a valid message about themselves because they wouldn't take her literally.