Spoke to my parents and friends about this...

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When I told my Dad I think I might have Aspergers, he asked me why. I told him I tend to get intensely absorbed in whatever subject fascinates me at the time. For example, for the past two years I've been really obsessed about becoming a good writer. I've written two self-published books and have my name on a third in that time. While achieving this, I pretty much put my social life aside and became so wrapped up in my own activities. For the last 6 months my subject of interest has been psychology - and I've read voraciously, day and night, weekdays and weekends, on this topic - again, to the detriment of my social life.

I also told him about my trouble with eye contact, my physical clumsiness, my lack of facial expression, monotonous tone of voice, trouble multitasking when I'm doing something (even if it's eating or doing something simple, I get so lost in my own head I can't do the task whilst maintaining a conversation). It's literally like my brain can't handle doing two things at once. This affects me at work as well - a coworker will be doing her work while tryin to get a conversation going with me, and if she expects me to maintain eye contact and give a response, I have to stop what I'm doing and put all my attention on her. I can't work and talk; I try but my interaction comes across as cold, aloof, and stilted.

I told my dad about my social awkwardness, my complete inability to make small talk, and my propensity to offend people or give off "a**hole" vibes without intending to. After I explained all this to him, he didn't really disagree with me. He seemed okay with the fact that I was labelling myself with Aspergers, but suggested I look past it and not let it define me. Then I said to him, "I'm not crazy for thinking this right? If I was coming totally out of left field, you wouldn't be kind of agreeing with me; instead you'd be perplexed that I'm labelling myself!" And he just said, "Sure, sure," in a way that said: I agree with what you're saying, but I don't want to say 100% that you have something going on because I'm not a doctor.

Then I asked him if there was anything about my childhood that was different. I said I remembered always being lost in my own world, and it was hard to shake me from that, and he agreed. But he said I never had trouble making friends; that always came naturally to me. And that brings me to my next point: he's right about that; I've never had trouble making friends and have always been popular in school. This is because I have an uncanny ability to connect with people emotionally and make them comfortable enough to reveal their true selves. I think this has a lot to do with my 80-20 listener-to-talker ratio. So, wait a minute, this can't be Aspergers, can it? Hence why I'm so confused. In general, I tend to relate to the female experience of Aspergers even though I'm a male. I'm terrible at math and so I don't relate to the fascination with numbers thing. I also remember imitating my friends and groups of people my entire life to fit in; something I've heard females Aspies are particularly better at than male Aspies. I've always felt like an actor when it comes to social situations, and when I let my guard down and be natural, my quirkiness definitely comes out.

What do you guys think. I don't have the crucial defining theme of autism; I can read people and sense their emotions to a discombobulating degree. Does this mean I can't have it?

Oh, and forgot to mention. In terms of sensory issues, nothing ever "serious." But I do generally hate loud noises, and just this year had someone say to me "I've noticed something about you; you have a fear of loud noises." I thought nothing of it at the time, but now I see how it all relates to this Aspergers thing. I've always been a picky eater, and did have a repulsion to certain tastes, though I can't remember what. I just remember some foods made me want to puke; fish being one of them. I remember as a kid trying some fish at my grandmas and I had to run to the toilet. And I remember not being able to eat cold cut sandwiches at my friends' house when I was a kid; it used to kind of make me sick.

In terms of stimming, I'm not sure if this qualifies, but I like to listen to the same song over and over. I scrape my middle finger against the corner of my thumb nail when I'm idle. I do odd things at work like huff and puff very loudly every once in a while. I also stretch my back over my chair every 20 minutes or so, and I'm sure this looks weird in the office. I also shuffle in my chair so much it's embarrassing; I get very agitated and uncomfortable when sitting down - not sure if this has anything to do with Aspergers. Recently, I've caught myself wringing my hands when I wasn't being self-aware, and was shocked I hadn't noticed this behaviour before. I also sniffle and clear my throat compulsively.

So what do you guys think? Am I just very self-absorbed, looking to self-diagnose myself to explain all my troubles away, or do you think I might be an Aspie?

If you are autistic, you might very well think you're much better at reading people than you actually are.

And the math thing is a stereotype. Not all Aspergians are mathematical geniuses - not even most. There is, however, a tendency for the eye and the brain to automatically seek out patterns in things, in order to more clearly define them. We tend to be more fixated on the details, than on the overall "Big Picture."

As for sensory issues, when you've been living with that kind of hypersensitivity all your life, again, you may not recognize it for what it is. It doesn't necessarily mean you cringe or freak out every time someone opens a cellophane wrapper, although you might have experiences like that - mostly you would notice that being in busy, noisy environments would make you immediately uncomfortable, then gradually more and more anxious, disoriented or overwhelmed - especially if you're expected to deal with some sort of social interaction in the middle of it all, and afterward, leave you feeling exhausted, stressed and mentally drained.

All that said, like your dad, we here at WP are (as far as I know, none of us) doctors or licensed psychologists, so we really can't give you any serious opinions one way or the other. It would take therapeutic observation over a period of time and a clinical evaluation, likely involving a battery of tests, to determine conclusively whether or not you fall on the spectrum. It's possible to be a High Functioning Autistic and not have Asperger Syndrome - sand some people are diagnosed PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) which basically means "partially autistic."

But you're not the first person to run across the diagnostic criteria and recognize themselves. Somebody close to me read about AS and recognized the description was me. When they sent it to me to read, it gave me chills, it was so accurate. I know how much it can mean to finally be able to put a name to your alienation after years of being 'different,' so by all means continue to seek your answers, and good luck in your quest!

If you've always had friends, made them easily and gotten along with peers and you don't have trouble reading people then I don't think you have it at all. Even if you're wrong about reading people well , relationships developed to appropriate level and social reciprocity all your life would rule it out. Of-course I'm not a doctor and can't diagnose or refute diagnosis but I don't think you have much reason to suspect ASD. You might have something with some overlapping symptoms (obsessions) or you may be a normal person with some quirks. If you're conserned about your functioning , are having problems or are distressed and want help then you should see a doctor. You might find this forum useful even if you don't have ASD and everyone's welcome here (except for trolls ). Here is the diagnostic criteria for ASD which is used in North America.

Diagnostic Criteria

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive, see text):

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative paly or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.
Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted repetitive patterns of behavior (see Table 2).

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat food every day).

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g, strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interest).

4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interests in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

Specify current severity:

Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior (see Table 2).

C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

D. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

E. These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level. FROMlink

I think I would encourage you to spend some time thinking about why this is on your mind, why does it matter? Having many autistic traits is associated with having autism in relatives, but a professional will only make a diagnosis if they see evidence of significant impairment, now or in the past, related to the autism traits.

That said, in some ways I can read people so extraordinarily well that when I subsequently fail to accurately read the social environment, they are furious and cannot believe it's anything but intentional. And reading people is an algorithm for me, I'm fine for recognizable patterns. But when they go all indirect I'm lost. So I don't think reading people well sometimes means you are or aren't autistic. Always reading others well isn't consistent with being autistic, especially if you know what to do with the information and can adjust your behavior flexibly to match what is going on. However, we don't necessarily see ourselves as others do.

As far as sensory issues, look around at others' reactions to loud noise, chaos, etc. and think about whether there is a difference between you and them, either internally or even externally observable.

There are exceptions to every rule, even the one about being able to make friends. In the right environment, with supporting nice people, my daughter is friends with a little girl recently diagnosed with ASD who is extremely popular and has many friends. But, when I thought about it, I remembered that she stood out as different and as Aspie the moment I met her, I just stopped seeing the label and only saw the person. Many of us who have ASD haven't had the benefit of the understanding and support that would help build self esteem and allow friendships to flourish. I don't believe it's impossible though to be an Aspie and make friends, but it is difficult. And for some of us, seems or even is impossible.

If you feel you have impairment or did have or other people tell you you do, if there is something to be gained for you for whatever reason from answering the question whether you have ASD, see a professional. Just know that having someone else provide their answers to who you are is partial, can never describe the whole that is you. And what is diagnosed today may be different from tomorrow and yesterday, depending on how you are functioning, what the professional sees about this.

If you are really confused, have some issues of somekind, or just want to know really bad, then you might want to seek a professional. If you do not have a problem with the way you are, there is no real reason to seek help. I am not diagnosed. Sometimes I get flack being one here poking around, but I'm sure I know what I am, and it helps me. There is good advice on here. That theory of mind thing I am really trying to wrap my head around. I think I am good at it, but I really don't like it. I keep thinking it is fake, and it confuses me. I keep trying to prove that it is just a trumped up neurotypical lie.