Did going to prom mean anything to him?

Post Reply New Topic

What do you think?

Last edited by Khaleesi97 on 30 Apr 2014, 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I avoided prom and to most ends, practiced a policy of 24/7 hooliganism in high school, but I don't see any red flags here. As aspies, we're usually none too great with crowds; you're absolutely right, prom itself may have held little meaning, prom with you is most likely another story.

Often I'm convinced that we aspies use body language basically everywhere you might use words or other exchanges.

edit: High school is often the catalyst for quite a lot of our social trouble; not having to deal with crowds in the first place would've saved me a lot of work and reputation.
FYI you may need to use the Google site search in the event our moderators move this to the Love & Dating subforum.

Khaleesi97,

On behalf of my younger self, I'd like offer you some advice....

There is a very, very high chance that your aspie friend may not work up the courage to fulfill the "chaser" role in the relationship game, even if he is very interested. You may need to take on that roll and be the one to initiate next steps. If you're curious about what he thinks, then just ask him. Also, please don't expect him to read your mind... tell him what you want to actually say with words and less with body language.

Good luck,

j0sh

I can't speak for your date but it's hard for me to express certain feelings like this, I can come off as totally disinterested while on the inside being quite the opposite. It's defense mechanism, it's better to to be the "cool customer" than it is to be rejected or hurt. As the previous poster said too, prom might not have a special meaning for everyone but the date could be the most important thing in the world to them.

You were organized with the prom, whereas I wound up getting after it immediately after y high school play. For something organized on a wing and a prayer, I had a wonderful time at my prom all those years ago. The only drawback was leaving my memento candle at a friend's house, but it didn't matter.

I really enjoyed both of my proms. I went with the same guy. I did not realize that I was his girlfriend. We "dated" for three years and I had absolutely no idea that we were "dating". When he finally explained to me how he felt, when he specifically put the dots very close together, I was really surprised. I thought we were just good friends. I had no real concept of what it meant to be someone's girlfriend. Even with my husband we never really dated and I never really felt like a girlfriend. We just got so close as friends that marriage was just the natural next step. So as it was with me, it is possible that your friend may not have the concepts of "dating" down as a NT would. He may not feel certain things as I did not. It is also possible that he might be imitating behaviors. It is also possible that he really does like you and just does not know how to express it. But I would take it slowly and continue to build a friendship with him and see how it goes,

Last edited by skibum on 29 Apr 2014, 7:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It sounds like he had fun. He didn't check out mentally or physically, he had enough energy left to ask you if you were having fun, he danced with you.

Whether he's interested in you romantically, I haven't a clue--but there's absolutely no evidence that he had a bad experience going to prom with you. He may think of you as a friend or as a potential date.

But... well, we're not a hive-mind, right? We can't read his mind just 'cause we're autistic too. If you want to know what he's thinking, you have to ask him. Good communication is the key to a good relationship, whether friendship or romance. For autistics, especially highly-verbal ones, words are often the easiest way to communicate--body language and hints are just too confusing and vague for us to put together reliably.

Its not just about courage, its about understanding and able to read. I wouldn notice any girl would be interested even me, unless you hit me with a shovel..

Its kinda silly the whole males has to chase, who came up with that stuff. now sure how old you are or he is, but if it were me i would rather the other person just spelled it out straight.

Anyways it sounds like he enjoyed it, and he seems to be a lucky guy, to know someone like you. That being said it can be really hard to tell people no. I know i personally had a lot of trouble with that when i was younger. Sometimes its just easier to say yes, because you avoid the whole conflict aspect.

^This.

Thanks for all the responses!