Infertility/hyper-fertility

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I'm just wondering if anyone understands the link between fertility and autism/AS?

When I went to my GP to be referred for AS assessment, one of the things he asked was whether I had kids (maybe a bit insensitive considering we've been trying for years and it's getting towards a need for serious intervention), because teenage pregnancy is apparently very common. I was surprised by this- I know it may be through naivety about relationships and contraception, or even that they feel a deep need to get pregnant, but I wonder if there is a medical/biological reason too?

Someone who I suspect has AS got pregnant very young while on the pill AND using condoms (she has anxiety but is a v successful lawyer at only 25, and I heard of another today who got pregnant 7 times whilst on birth control, had all 7 kids then had to go through a hysterectomy in their 20s to prevent getting pregnant again. Is this because they react differently to medication/hormone treatment etc? Also, 2 other aspie-like friends have got pregnant within a month of trying.

I believe my infertility could be caused by my (I believe autism-related) sensory/bodily overreactions, as I'm allergic to almost EVERYTHING so I'll probably reject any possible pregnancy anyway, but I don't know if there is a recognised link? Another possible explanation is that my partner and I may have genes that would make us less likely to be able to create a genetically "healthy" baby, so nature won't let it happen until the baby would be strong enough to survive/thrive (although I see my kids as likely to have autism/downs and don't see this as a problem). For this reason, I'd be very worried about IVF for us, because natural selection is taken out of the equation, and I don't believe anyone is naturally conceived who does not, genetically at least, have the ability to deal/cope with life in some way, however short or "difficult" that life ends up being. I don't know if I'd feel guilty if all they seemed to experience is suffering. I suffered a lot because of my skin etc I guess, but it was still worth being alive!

This may be totally off-the-wall but just an observation so please tell me your views if u agree or disagree. The people I was talking about who got pregnant v easily seemed to be the "type" of aspie who *appear* to be immature (not that they are really). And the ones who struggle to get pregnant seem to be quite logical/intellectual/non-impulsive types. Maybe I just have an odd collection of people in my research subjects haha, but even on the vast conception/pregnancy forums this too often seems to be the case. It's like god/nature or whatever is giving people whatever they need to become stronger and more resilient. The naive immature ones will grow up and give more to society if they become parents young, and the mature ones seem to get the message that you can't always get your own way or control everything.

If autistics tend to get pregnant as teens, I can tell you one reason: There's a stereotype that we're either asexual or eternal children, and people don't bother to give us any type of decent sex ed. I didn't get any sex ed at all, for example, and I went to school in the 90s, so it's not like I was born in the dark ages. (I actually am asexual, but most autistics aren't. For the record.)

So, yeah, we're naive, but half of the problem is that people don't bother to teach us, don't think we need to know, when in reality, it's even more important for autistics than for NTs, considering the increased risk of being victims of abuse. Knowing how to defend ourselves should be part of sex ed. So should knowing how to decide when we want to have sex, and how to say no when we don't.

But of course, we have "the minds of toddlers" or we're "little professors" or we'll "never get a date"... Personally, I think they're just intimidated by the fact that autistic people have a sex drive.

Thanks callista,

I'm amazed that your generation hasn't woken up to the fact that everyone needs sex ed, and from much younger than previous generations. Kids are exposed to much more since the internet on phones etc. If fact Id thought they would be super careful considering the autistic teen pregnant rate. So you think it is mainly an education issue?

By the way, I know it's a small minority of autistic people who are asexual, but it is interesting that it is more common than the general population. Maybe we are just more likely to REALISE it? We tend to do a lot of searching to find out who we are and we're different anyway, so it's not going to change much if we openly admit another difference-to-the-norm.

I felt very asexual as a teen but I still wanted to have sex because I wanted to experience it, and I thought everyone was doing it! I wish I had been more mature and had got to the stage where I understood how complicated humans were before I rushed in with an awful boy who cheated instantly (like the day after) with one of my friends. I believed everyone had the same morals as me and my small group of spectrumy friends, so I was extremely naive, but it wasn't until a few years later that I realised exactly how amoral most people are when they think they can get away with it!

Ps sorry I write soooooo much. I really can't help it haha

I only started to feel less asexual when I found someone who I really connected with and who shared my beliefs, although now I realise I had Rose tinted glasses on that one too!

We're more likely to be gay, bi, and transgender, too. I think awareness of being different certainly plays a role; that, and being less sensitive to social pressure to conform to gender stereotypes.

I'm not sure if the increase in asexuality is any greater than the increase in other minority sexual orientations and gender identities. If so, it could just be associated with our general tendency to be more introverted.

Demisexual. The sex drive wakes up with emotional connection.

I've wondered if there is an autism / infertility connection.

My wife and I have been married over 20 yrs and have not been able to have kids - even with help from the medical community (we stopped just short of IVF).

My wife has a child from a previous relationship so odds are I'm the infertile one.

It's interesting what you said Callista because I am very much the eternal child and pretty asexual. I have very rare moments when my sex drive flares up and then it's only for about an hour if that. So it might happen every few months or so. I do have hormones so I do have a tiny sex drive but it's very rare and pretty weak. But I do my best for my husband who is a typical guy who loves sex. I feel bad for him though because wanting to have sex does not really hit my radar.

Marriage takes compromise, I guess. Quite a few asexuals only find out after they're married that they really and truly don't want sex, and it always takes negotiation for both people to feel satisfied. I feel rather lucky that I realized I was asexual before I got involved with anybody.

My hormones are normal--they've been measured--it's just that I don't want to have sex with people. I don't know what causes people to be asexual, but it's different from sexual dysfunction. It's an actual orientation, not at all the same thing as what happens if someone gets sick, or tired, or stressed, and doesn't feel in the mood for sex anymore. Asexuals just naturally don't want it, even when they're relaxed and happy and healthy.

Well, I'm taking a sexuality and endocrinology class this semester, so I might as well do a bit of research and see if I can't figure out why asexuality happens. There's a lot of research on why some people are gay, but asexuality is less popular a topic... Still, there has to be some info out there.

I'm sorry to hear you couldnt have kids of your own. Did you find it difficult or did you just 'get on with it' and bring up your wife's child with her? I feel a lot better recently about not being able to have kids. Everything happens for a reason!

edit: I have done a lot of research into infertility and it doesnt follow that just because your wife has one child, that it is you that has a physical problem. She may have been lucky to have her first, or that it is just a genetic compatibility issue, or both. Unless you get testing done you would never know, but even then there are about 25% for whom it is unexplained.

I never get physical urges to have sex when not in 'that' situation already. I never understood why people talked about being "horny" lol. I never felt the need to kiss a stranger or have a one night stand. At one point in my relationship I sort of lost interest, maybe just a bit of depression or hormone changes or something? My partner was quite upset about it and felt rejected, so I decided i would do it and enjoy it... and after about a week I was enjoying it again I think it was just getting into the right mindset, and a routine! Sounds mad but if i do anything regularly I like to keep doing it a lot and I guess this is no different haha.

That sounds like it'd be very interesting. Please post to let us know what you discovered! I'd never heard of people actually identifying themselves as Asexual, a defined orientation like gay, bi etc until I saw the documentary "asexual", available on netflix in the uk. I lost concentration half way through when the main character started having sexual relationships, and ended up in a polyamorous relationship to have kids. There was a link made between asexuality and aspergers syndrome at some point but I wasnt watching properly by then- short attention span!