Positive vs. Negative Therapists

Post Reply New Topic

I was seeing a therapist in the past that was really negative, she would say things like "never work", "never go to college" and "never have children" claiming my mental health was too bad for these things, and she really did say never. Vocational rehabilitation also told me I could not work.

Now I have a therapist saying that much of my troubles appears to be AS, but she sees no reason why I can't go to college, etc... she met many successful people with AS. She was encouraging me to pursue those things, telling me that I am the one that decides if I can work or not.

That got me motivated and I even picked up a book and I'm trying to study for the GRE (I already have a bachelor's in zoology and ethics). I already work sort of, I volunteer my time as a secretaries' assistant. If I can do that why can't I work a paying job? Why are people so negative about people with mental disorders/on the spectrum? What kind of therapist is allowed to be so negative to their clients?

In my opinion I think that first therapist of yours was being dangerously irresponsible. While I have no idea of your level of ability to cope, I think telling someone that they can "never" be capable of something is an incredibly destructive thing. While it's also wrong to give a person false hope about what may be achieved -- and that can go for NT lives and potential, never mind AS lives -- I think that outright writing somebody off to their face can in fact cause they themselves to take that onboard so deeply that any potential is limited even further.

Never say never. Always strive, "give it a go" if the motivation is there. Even a therapist who is supposed to be qualified in knowing what they're talking about should steer clear of categorical statements like "never" do this or that. She or he might suggest that there will be a level of difficulty that warrants serious thought, but never say never.

I think the new therapist you're with is a MUCH healthier choice of person to be seeing.

.

Your therapist needed a therapist if she said that to you.

Angnix, per your therapist. To believe that something is impossible signifies that she has no clue how the world works. You can do anything you want it?s only a matter of figuring out how and then doing it. That?s simple science. If you want a paying job then go for it. If people don't want to hire you due to poor social skills like me then simply make your own or choose from any number of other possible solutions that you might like.

^^
this


Not exactly. I am 5 foot 4 and half and inches tall and 56 years and as much as I may want to play in the National Basketball Association it is something I defiantly can not do. But that does not mean one should not try and try again. Ruling out things is part of learning who you are.

That is a lack of imagination and desire. I would advise starting with mechanical augmentation.

I realize I need to use my current volunteer job as a reference and the secretary already told me she is so happy with my work she hopes I don't find a job, sigh.

Too many dreams going on, I dream of furthering my education, my husband wants a family. We are really poor, I told him that let me have my college dream and when I get a good job then have a family.

That therapist is an "ex-spurt" - a has been with a spurt from the mouth, not the brain. I hope you tell her that she is entirely unhelpful, unrealistic, prejudiced, oppressive and should look for a new kind of job. She deserves it.

Have you let your current therapist know how negative and damaging the old therapist was? I'm glad you found someone better who is encouraging you and motivating you. Therapists get away with all kinds of things they shouldn't, simply because they work with vulnerable people. I hope you never run into someone like that again.

If you can work a volunteer job, you can work a paying one. Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. If you can work and you do good work that someone is happy with, you deserve to get paid for what you are doing.

I'm not sure if I believe that you old therapist specifically said never, it seems like something a very naive person would say, in most likelihood she simply said to not do these things in your current mental state rather than never.

A reference is the easiest way to get a job but it?s not the only way. It depends upon what type you?re trying to go for high turnover rate jobs will hire almost anyone. Otherwise it?s just a matter of time. My mom was a stay at home mom her life and she was concerned about trying to get a job as well because she was in her late 40?s and had no references at all. But she did fine. She cleaned apartments and houses it was quite nice for menial labour, in my opinion, because you?re all alone so you can control the environment.

It is intelligent to realize that you don?t have the money to raise children. I think your plan is quite wise to realize your college dream and get more money first.

Nope, she said never. She specifically said my meds have permanently poisoned my body to have children and also very specifically she said never work or never go to college because they are too stressful.

That's why I hate therapy and therapists so much. Finding a good one is so hard.

There's nothing wrong with being told you will have to deal with "limits" in life because of your condition. You need to know they are there so you can deal with having them.

However, you need to be encouraged to challenge yourself and your "limits." Your "limits" are truly set by what you KNOW you cannot overcome, not what you THINK you cannot overcome.

Optimism tempered by a healthy dose of realism.

I wonder this too, and I wonder why sometimes we are so negative with each other. That if you succeed at this that or the other things, some people will say you aren't really autistic, don't really have AS. Which would be great except everything comes with such struggle. And then you fit in nowhere.

There's another thread right now where people are being really negative IMO that if you aren't impaired, you don't have ASD. I don't think you should believe this. It might be true, but is so unproductive to dwell on.

I think you should believe you can take one more step from where you are as long as you want to and as long as you can do so without it destroying you. And one of the ways it can destroy you is if you start having to pretend to be normal even to yourself, because if you aren't really, then the more you succeed, the more you disappear until you're dead to yourself and walk through life not existing and wishing for death every single second. But if you can do volunteer work, then yes, maybe you can do paid work. The rate of unemployment for people with ASD is high, but if you can find employment in something you love, or that involves something you're really interested in, you might be really good at that. And it could maybe happen, maybe work.

Your previous therapist was IMO wrong to push her opinions on you, but I'd be wrong to push mine on you, too. Therapists should help us see ourselves, and achieve more. If you can't on your own, maybe refer you for job coaching if you want to work, instead of telling you what you can't do.

I sometimes wonder whether normal people dislike those with ASD more if we are more like them and even wonder whether they could be afraid we'll contaminate them, but ASD isn't really contagious. Therapists aren't immune to that, sometimes can see different as more impaired than it has to be.

Am glad you found someone more encouraging, is very hard hearing can't, there is too much of that. And I do think there are good people in the world who focus on can.

I recently saw a bad therapist, and I left there feeling infinitely worse than when I went in...she actually made me go into a mini-depression for about a week.

I think that there needs to be more oversight, training, or something with therapy, because when you go into that sort of setting you are already in a very vulnerable state: they need to have the knowledge, training, and ability to know how to handle those situations properly.

Actually I don't know the better road to travel down... go back to college or find a job with my current education and experience. And then there is the decision to continue with the degree I already got, or go back and get another bachelor's in something more employable. I love birds but I also have a great talent when it comes to graphic design.