Pulling off being an NT for a little while

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How long can you pull off being an NT?

I find that when I am around new people I can go about two months before people think I do not like them or am unhappy around them. This is true with work as well. I bounce around jobs and generally after a couple months managers talk to me to try to find ways to make me happier at work. Yet I am really happy. I try to tell them I am happy but they never believe it. This is true with friends and girlfriends. Everyone thinks I am unhappy and it usually presents itself at the 2 month mark where it is expected that I be closer to people. At that point I think most NTs have shared some sort of emotional moment with the other person. I do not share any emotional moment so people start thinking Its because I have negative emotions. Its frustrating.

At least now I know now to try to express my being content around this time mark. I guess I can pull off being an NT until 2 months and then the cat needs to be let out of the bag to avoid completely ruining the relationship which in the NTs mind is already ruined.

I don't know how long, or if I can.

I know a way to convince them you are happy, but I think you probably already thought of it, even though you haven't invoked it in your post. It's an archetypal way to make people at ease. After that they will accept how you are, when you'll not seem so happy. The way is to make jokes. I don't say you need to be a clown. But making them laugh a couple of times, tremendously improves the atmosphere. Then they will accept your quirks, I think.

I read Temple Grandin say once that most Aspie's navigate the world by learning to "act normal". I know that's true for me. Since I was little, I have studied what other people did and tried to imitate it. It has allowed me to stay employed for thirty years, but it is easier to fool strangers at work. I have never really had any personal friends, so I haven't had to keep it up at home. I'm sure in a personal relationship, I would fail miserably unless the person was understanding and accepting of my condition.

The basic thinking of NTs is:

"What is best for the group?"

The group means everything to the very social NTs. It means so much to them that they are willing to obey higher ranking members in that group, even to the point of having to act very submissive to them. They do this to be accepted.


That is the main problem I run into when trying to pull the NT-act: that of having to accept being bullied/ridiculed by higher-ranking members (for instance someone with a higher position in the workplace).


What NTs work for every day is social status, which will give them fewer leaders and more people to lead. The option of exiting the group does not exist. Rather accept "one's place" in the hierarchy than not have a group.


The problem for us with AS is that we were neither built for acting dominant nor submissive. We were meant to be our own leader, with no followers. Or differently stated: "loners".

How do you even know how to gain new people to socialise with, and get friends and even girlfriends?

Two months? I can't even connect past the first encounter with someone, if that.