how to go back to the way i was.. without making others mad?

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im just about done with verbal communication. it stresses me out so much that i end up crying more than once during the day just over this.
when i try to be who i am naturally, people get mad and force me to respond them(in ways much like a bully). and many people wont accept any other forms of communiation that is much easier for me to communicate doing. how do i go back to the way i used to be, without others doing a bully type thing or getting mad at me?
being off of my stimulant med, speech comes much more difficult than it is when on it(when is pretty difficult to begin with). a lot of the times i am unable to communicate what i need to verbally. and when i attempt ways like writting,typing or other ways they are tossed back at me, and dont get read. off of the stimulant med, i am also unable to handle the "bully" situation, and i am more likely to react in the way that i do when im trapped and frustraited, and unable to communicate what i need, or to tell the person(people) what i need to, to make them leave me alone, and to make the frustration and overwhelmingness start to lessen, instead of rapidly building.

any ideas/suggestions/solutions?
am i the only one that has ever reached this point?

I dont think you are the only one...I "think" I have the same troubles, I recently stopped all my meds both antipsychotic and mood stabiliser and although the meds help alot with having a better short term memory and give me the ability to communication with semi ease and comfort, I dont feel like me, the same personality, instead of the older meds I was on which made me zombie mode the meds i just got off changed my reactive ability and I felt a bit withdrawn from emotional feeling, I did feel more capable of things but the meds given me parkinsonian shakes so I was really irritated having to explain myself on why I was shaking a bit all the time to make sure they didnt think I was tragically nervous or something...oh and the meds seemed to wear off the effect of helping me sleep at night and I dont know really whether the meds were increasing my appetite still, but I want to be off the meds just to be sure, I don't want the crutch of meds and a lifetime worth of shaking to be me...when it comes to communication on meds I was a bit more able to handle myself emotionally to stop feeling like I would be victimised by forms of bullying, but I want to try and learn to have those skills without meds, because Ive proven my brain can do it, I just gotta find a way without meds...Ive had many experiences of bullying in the workplace and feeling trapped and very frustrated but when I go manic/bipolar tendancies my brain suddenly has no problem with knowing what to say to "one up" the aggressor but realistically it basically gives me more the ability to have balls and fight that person so he doesn't hurt me, its sad that I have to hurt people or get them angry especially when I wish there was another way but alot of the time i wish I was more manic or at least have my manic abilities to stand up for myself and not fear retribution too much...

I feel you might need to get comfortable with the facts, you aren't a big talker and thats just fine, dont feel pressured by people to be a raving socialite, I find when that happens to me sometimes peer pressure set in and as a group people do things to test you and take advantage of you, even my family members have done this indirectly, find a comfortable medium of talking to the right people, not all people, build your confidence and your abilities and each small step is a victory...I hope you have some good luck with your issue

thanks, i hope your issues get better too
i can relate to the shakiness and manic-ness.. the stimulant (vyvanse) causes me to get the bad shakes and trembles(normally only when it first kicks in, and then at random throught the day. i quit drawing for the longest time just because i couldnt keep my hands still enough (it was constant when i hadnt been on the med for a long period of time (9 or so months).
and that med also has a manic affect on me, where im "all over the place" and full of ideas and getting things done that need to be done, and it makes me where im able to talk more, which is good, but its not me... persay... but ive been on it for so long, people dont know who i really am off of it. all but my parents, have only met me since i was on the med, and ive pretty much been on this since 2009 (with some breaks). but its also the only way im able to make it on mu own independently.. i know this by trial and error... and the results were consistent.
dalmahs wanting his wet food, so off i go lol (one of my cats-i have two, dalmah and abby )

Hey Saphie,

It is very difficult to avoid verbal communication because human beings are a very talky species. Think of all those words uttered in magazines, newspapers, books, and think of all those zillions of words and senteces broadcasted over the eart and into space. Belief me when I say that wise aliens will definately avoid contact with such a noisy, talky earth species.

However, there are some strategic and tactical pointers that have helped me out very much:

Say that your are too busy to talk right now.

If they keep insisting, make an appointment with them.

If you do give a response, keep it short or concise as possible.

Avoid those kind of people or places as much as you can.

To people close to you, you can explain that you are not a talky person. They will understand and respect that. With them, you have to reach some middle ground.

The realization that people who want to understand you will do so with just a few words. On the other hand, people that are not really interested in you or in what you think or feel will never understand you fully, no matter how well you verbally communicate. They interpret what you say how they want to. So, don't feel pressure or disappointment when the message in word form hasn't come across.

I hope these pointers will be of some use for you too.

yes, thanks!
i will give that a try too.

You need to put your foot down. Steel Maiden is in a similar situation. You are not alone in this. I would write a card that says "I am unable to speak, please accept my non verbal communication or don't communicate with me at all." And then just refuse to open your mouth. They can't force you to talk. Like with Steel Maiden this is a serious matter for you and you just have to let people know that you need to do what is best for you. And they need to respect that. If they can't, walk away.

Maybe you can tell the people closest to you exactly why you feel like you need a break, and stress that you want to do this because you care about communicating with them more than you care about doing it in the usual verbal way.

You know this for yourself, that if you keep pushing yourself, you're going to shut down, and your communication will become unreliable and probably painful; but if you retreat a little and go back to easier ways of communicating, you'll be able to keep connecting with the people you love.

Explain this to them--that it's something you're doing because you're tired; that you still care about them; that you hope they aren't going to be angry with you. You can admit to them straight out that you worry they are going to be angry with you, because that makes it clear to them that you are not trying to upset them.

Your goal here is to do things in a way that works--even if that way isn't the same way other people do things. This is your life and you have the right to decide what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. You can claim that right, and it's okay to do that. If people do get mad at you, even after you have explained, then that is a problem with them--not with you.