My mum is totally opposite to me.

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My mum insists on socialising with me pointlessly every so often. Never have I seen someone so opposite to me.

Me: rarely show emotion
Mum: extreme emotions in every single sentence and verbalises her emotions strongly

Me: no gesticulations
Mum: her hands and arms are constantly flying about while she talks which I suppose means extreme amounts of gesticulations

Me: monotonous
Mum: sounds like she's singing when she speaks

Me: can't wait to get home and avoid socialising with her anymore
Mum: finds any excuse to prolong the social situation

Me: wants to talk about science
Mum: small talk to the extreme

Also my mum is hard to explain things to as I am sure that her alcoholism in the past has damaged her higher centres in her brain. She also places emotions first and logic last, which really gets to me (my mantra is "logic first, emotions last"). For example, I tried to help her fix something on her internet browser over email, so I said "open your add-ons list and then select the spell checker" and her response was "I opened the list but it was so scary that I just had to close it" ; I told her yesterday that I intend to get a cat and can she advise me on how and her response was to go "oooo cats so cute remember little Sooty?? They're so cute, ooooooo". Without getting to the point, and using hundreds of facial expressions I had no clue what they were.

How do I cope with meeting her up? I never ever ask to meet her up, is always her asking me. I try to restrict our socialising but she can get very persistent.

I am scared as last time we met she got drunk in the end and hurled abuse at me do I ended the " friendship". She doesn't drink now (she's poor -she will only get drunk on wine- and she no longer shows physical signs of drinking excessively). But I'm still concerned that her extreme over-emotional brain could find some way to make me upset.

Advice?

Perhaps simply restrict your expectations from interaction to the emotional rather than logical that way she will meet your expectations and it will be less likely to upset. So for example don?t go to her if you need advice on how to get a cat but rather restrict interaction to something around enjoying the cat if there is a time when that is appealing to you. This will result in a healthier relationship.

If you'd rather like to build on what you're currently doing and simply restrict your interactions with her more efficiently then ensure your self sufficient that way rejecting her will never hurt you and you can ignore her until she either stops or dies.

Make sense. I'll just restrict conversion topics and put up with her silliness. And I will see her as infrequently as possible to keep myself sane.

I'm sorry that she heaps abuse on you.

I'm also sorry that she's drank too much, and that it has affected her.

Otherwise: She's your mum. You should, I believe, give her a little more leeway than you would most people.

My mother is a royal pain in the butt, too--but I still feel obligated to her because she's my mother.

You should express your needs for boundaries in a diplomatic way, I believe.

She's also the way she is. She's emotional. That's an important part of who she is, just like your logic is an important part of who you are.

I think she's probably proud of you at least on some level. I believe she will be even more proud of you once you accomplish your goals.

Thanks. I see. Although my care coordinator and support worker both advised me to make some "ground rules" for her, and myself too.