I'm beginning to think these psychologist are useless.
I've been going to a therapist for a few months now. Overall the sessions have been OK. I've been going there due to anger management issues, issues with dealing with my wife/children. I also went to him to see if I had a potential indicator for aspergers (cat I autism). This is based on symptoms over my life etc.... He's given me the exercise to engage in more positive communication with my daughter (telling her I love her etc...).
This session (today), he's gone into how i "feel". He asked me how If "feel" when I hold my daughter, how I feel now (based on what were were talking about. I believe he was asking me a lot of questions today to try to tap into some sort of emotional area....
Honestly I don't fee anything. I told him this, I've never really felt anything through my life. It's very frustrating because when I say this it feels like I'm some sort of psychopath or something. I don't know.....
I have said it before: For every M.D. or Ph.D. who graduates first in his or her class of 312, there is someone else who graduates last in that class, but is considered by their college, licensing office, certification board and colleagues to be just as educated and prepared to practice. Mmm-hm.
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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)
I've been to so many through my life. I don't think it has much to do with qualifications etc.. I just think these disorders (autism etc.) are a huge challenge for psychology as a whole. Even if I don't have aspergers, my second guess is some sort of personality disorder. Which is also a challenge.
Getting therapy is like going to the university of emotion. You get a degree in feelings. When you have a problem with anger management that means that you get overwhelmed by feelings, and you react reflexively by getting angry. Your therapist will get you in touch with your feelings, and give you names for them. When you grow and learn to recognize your emotions, you will gain control over anger.
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Everything is falling.
I sympathise. It's often pretty useless to ask us open questions about "how do you feel" etc. Our minds get flooded or blank out - at least that's my own experience. Questions need to be specific: eg Do you feel sad? Do you feel anxious? Do you feel angry? Have you experienced this or that? When? etc...
Even very skilled psychologists seem unaware of how to communicate with us, so that we can communicate with them
(((((
Professional ignorance.. there's no damn pill for that!
I have put a fair bit of thought into the subject. How can someone with a stable life in a well paid job see you for a few minutes every few weeks/months and be able to know and relate enough to be of any use? I'll give credit for trying however I think its pretty useless unless you are using them and their degree to convince other people of things.
Talk therapy is usually undertaken when an appreciable level of discomfort is encountered in life.
Things like anger and frustration occur when there is a conflict between expectations and reality.
Talk therapy is usually the result of a practitioner attempting to steer a client to adopt a way of thinking and living of which the practitioner is convinced is optimal. There can be a lot of similarity between this and an attempt at a religious conversion.
An aspie will often withdraw from social situations that cause discomfort. Social situations like marriage, employment, or neighbors that are not easily avoided often lead to a scramble to find a way to minimize discomfort.
Usually the "heavy lifting" is on the shoulders of the aspie. This is because often NTs can put up with a greater level of discomfort.
Effective therapy is usually found when a practitioner helps the client develop the skills he need to reduce the discomfort that drove him to therapy in the first place. Many therapists do not even consciously recognize their own economic disincentive in helping a client quickly and effectively.
Consider some of the dynamics of an anger issue between two people;
1. You can learn how to persuade the other person to do what you expect.
2. You can change your expectations.
3. You can make use of a phase response (steps) to a surprise event that triggers anger so that it is more manageable.
4. You can deaden yourself with drugs or alcohol.
5. You can cut off contact with the person.
6. You can try to soften the anger triggers by understanding the other person. We may have come to ascribe mal-intent where there is none.
7. You can learn how to engage the other person in a process of negotiation to reduce discomfort.
A talk therapist practitioner who pushes you to deal with feelings you do not have is projecting his view of himself onto you. It might not be a bad idea to try to find someone who could actually be helpful.
This session (today), he's gone into how i "feel". He asked me how If "feel" when I hold my daughter, how I feel now (based on what were were talking about. I believe he was asking me a lot of questions today to try to tap into some sort of emotional area....
Honestly I don't fee anything. I told him this, I've never really felt anything through my life. It's very frustrating because when I say this it feels like I'm some sort of psychopath or something. I don't know.....
To me maybe he's just asking you whether you enjoy your daughter.
As far as pushing you to talk about feelings, maybe he just needs to know whether you're alexithymic, which is common in Aspies to properly assess you
A good therapist is hard to find, especially hard to find one good with those of us on the spectrum.
I was lucky in that I did find a good one who was able to help me a lot.
If you can you might have to try a few before you find one you like.
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Diagnosed Asperger's


