autism and depression

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ive been feeling kinda bad lately i dont know why but i cant seem to get happy, i cant focus and feel dead inside Today is my birthday i feel a bit and though i had a fun day but insted of feeling happy i feel sad and mentaly and phyicaly weak for no reason. i keep thinking about life going too fast and how im going to die sometime day and i want the bad feelings to go away though im not yet suicidal, im getting in denial about me having autism and feel like im faking (or acting as my uncle says) and even talking abiut autism is making me feel sad any opssion with kid stuff and other stuff i like is dead.

Happy birthday! It's nice to see you on here again.

I'm not sure how to deal with suicidal thoughts either, but I get them now and then. I tell myself to keep moving forward, even if the pain of the moment seems unbearable. I just remember that I have to keep fighting. Ice cream probably helps; that's what I'm eating right now.

Hey Jen, look at that 16 under your avatar!

Autism we know can be tough. The best you can do is not let it define you, not let it stop you. If you feel like it's dragging you down, just yell at it that you won't let it! Because you are right, life goes really really fast. I still think you are going to be something special (besides the special kid you are now)!

I find birthdays hard too. I felt very, very sad my last birthday.

There's pressure to be happy and normal and enjoy with other people and so often some piece of that is missing.

Happy Bitthday, though!! Can you go eat some cake and ice cream?

Happy birthday jen.

I think even if someone had a fun day, it can leave them feeling strangely down -- I relate to that very well. And I remember starting to feel that way on birthdays too when I was your age.

Many people find that birthdays do bring to mind more depressing thoughts about their own mortality, and life going by, as obviously it's a marker for the years going by. Some older people start dreading their birthday and insisting on it not being celebrated at all! Birthdays are a weird thing, really. They can be a bit more complicated psychologically than just a fun day, because they do remind you of time passing.

Also, for some people, sometimes even a fun day can leave you with feelings of depression because even positive, happy events can be draining and overwhelming, causing a kind of reversed mood of all that fun turning to a sense of deflation.

Try to get a good night's rest later this night, and you may feel differently in the morning. Like I say, birthdays can be weird things. This can be an emotionally loaded day. See how you feel tomorrow when this day has passed.

Don't let your uncle or anyone else make you feel like you're "acting" your autism. Just be yourself and don't worry about what that is or what other people think it is. : )

PS -- oh and yes to icecream! My favorite chocolate helps me too. Or curling up with a book, watching a favorite movie, taking a nice shower, or a bubble bath if you prefer those), taking a walk in nature, curling up in bed (also with a book) .

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Happy birthday Buddy.

I know what you mean and I understand how you feel. Here's a big huge hug. :0)

Life can be pretty hard in general. Maybe not, hopefully not, all the time, but now and then it gets overwhelming. It makes me think that people who have lived much longer than me have really gone through something. Each year you become that much more a survivor. And hopefully you didn't just survive but found things to make you happy and that allowed you to see beauty in the world. The world can be an okay place if your heart is filled with love. Not just for others but for yourself too. Here's wishing you a great year. Happy B-Day!