Do things get better for us with time?
I had a crappy childhood. I was a very misunderstood child and I was teased a lot for being weird and not fitting in with everyone. I didn't have any learning disabilities or anything like that so I was never in a special education class. I went to school with a lot of neurotypical kids who did not understand me and some of the teachers did not understand me either. It was not fun.
But things got better when I got older. I've heard that the symptoms of autism become less severe with age, and many kids who had symptoms of autism in childhood no longer have these symptoms as adults. I wanted to know, do things get better for most people with autism? I hope this is true.
They only become less severe because you learn to manage them better over time. The symptoms will always be there.
Last edited by LupaLuna on 05 Aug 2014, 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Welcome Sadaspie,
I;m sorry but it's not true for me. I am not getting better as I get older. In some ways my symptoms are actually getting worse. I am more sensitive and more easily overloaded by sensory stimuli. But I think it's not so much age related but stress level related. As I got older, my responsibilities increased and thus so did my levels of stress. And the stesses I face as an adult are different and sometimes much more stressful than what I faced as a child. I think that is the determining factor in how bad my symptoms can get.
I also feel the social awkwardness more because I have to be in many social situations that I did not have to be in as a child. When I was little if I did not want to talk and if just wanted to play quietly while everyone was socializing, no one would notice. But now I am expected to engage in the socializing. I am really good at it, like I can do chit chat and talk about stupid things and I actually really enjoy it sometimes but just the fact that I am around lots of people is draining. And if my energy levels are low I can't do it. And I find that even thought I may have done very well in a social situation, and was able to pass for NT no problem, I am usually a lot more exhausted from it than I had realized. That probably happened to me as a child too because I remember being exhausted a lot especially starting from my tween years., But I never made the connection that it was social fatigue until I found out I was on the Spectrum two and half years ago.
But stress and energy levels play a very big role in how severe symptoms can be.
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AspergianMutantt
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No, when you get older the symptoms do not go away, only the kids who teased you because of them are not so pronounced, and aspi people tend to become more and more isolationists as they age which also helps reduce the teasing. you will still have issues just they will be more work (social) based. people tend to pick on and take advantage of those whom make the easiest targets, which is us.
sorry for the sad news.
In part thats why I got on disability, I didn't want to deal with it anymore and am taking isolationism to the next degree, screw it.
Just be aware the consequences, even other aspi women want little to do with males on disability, even if their on it them selves. yes there is always someone for everyone, but the odds (%) gets smaller and smaller to where there is no real point in trying or looking anymore unless you want to deal with much depression from going through rejection after rejection just to find that one you "Hope" it will work out with. you make your self more sad and depressed looking then just letting it go and getting on with your own life.
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Last edited by AspergianMutantt on 05 Aug 2014, 10:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
Hey guys, thanks for responding. And I agree with what you guys said, some things might get better because you learn to manage them but its still hard. For me some things got better because I no longer have to go to school (so I don't get bullied). Most of the people I know are nice to me, which is good. However, I definitely think that there's much more to be stressed about now because of responsibilities like finishing college, making money, etc, kind of like skibum said. I have a lot of worries about some of my responsibilities and about the future. I know that we have a lot of "autism awareness" now so that might make things a little bit easier for young adults who are on the spectrum.
But things got better when I got older. I've heard that the symptoms of autism become less severe with age, and many kids who had symptoms of autism in childhood no longer have these symptoms as adults. I wanted to know, do things get better for most people with autism? I hope this is true.
They symptoms do not become less severe...people around you grow up (mostly).
As for getting easier... I do not believe so. Yes, it is true you tend to become more in-control of certain aspects of it with age but the fact that your brain is wired differently and that you will never experience the same world NT's do does not change.
sorry for the sad news.
In part thats why I got on disability, I didn't want to deal with it anymore and am taking isolationism to the next degree, screw it.
I concur. I become increasingly less motivated trying to have Friends and be social.
I am almost 27 but i am almost at the point of staying alone and only going out of my cave When i have to go to work, visit my only friend who also happens to have pddnos so sometimes she doesnt send me a message for weeks, get food or sunset photography which is my hobby.
I started photography because i wanted to have something to do and be outside sometime without people thinking it is odd to take a walk alone. A camera with you is a great excuse
Despite dealing with almost constant low-grade anxiety + dysphoria, I believe things are better now, than they were previously. Mostly because I have begun to accept who I am (and given up trying to live a neurotypical lifestyle with neurotypical aspirations).
It?s funny you mention this. A while back (years before I was diagnosed) I often wondered what happened to those kids once they became adults. I suspect that they learn more socially acceptable (and adult) ways to shun people like us.
I agree with all other posters here. It doesn't get better. The way the problems present themselves changes. Adults bully you in more subtle ways so that they won't get in trouble. I am as isolated as I was as a kid. My inability to interact with other people in a "normal" way has even been making it very difficult to find a job despite my education. Many things have been affected by my autism in my adult life.
I don't feel as lonely as I used to because I got used to being alone and now find it nice and peaceful. I think it's the adult capability to accept the situation you are in. In that sense it got better.
I agree as well - it's not so much that it gets better as it gets different.
The challenges change as you get older, which in some ways sucks because just as you figure out something, it changes.
The only upside is that if you are able to hold down a good job you have more the financial means to 'do your own thing'. Not everyone has that option.
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AspergianMutantt
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Yes, but isolationism has its own problems, its about like learning something and if you never use or practice it the memory of what you learned fades away. so the less social you are the harder it gets to be social. which also ramps up your social anxieties, which makes you want to be isolated even more. its like a bad circle jerk that never ends and keeps spiraling you down.
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little_blue_jay
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I;m sorry but it's not true for me. I am not getting better as I get older. In some ways my symptoms are actually getting worse. I am more sensitive and more easily overloaded by sensory stimuli. But I think it's not so much age related but stress level related. As I got older, my responsibilities increased and thus so did my levels of stress. And the stesses I face as an adult are different and sometimes much more stressful than what I faced as a child. I think that is the determining factor in how bad my symptoms can get.
But stress and energy levels play a very big role in how severe symptoms can be.
This is my experience as well. I am getting worse as I get older. It's why I cannot handle working at the coffee shop anymore - it's too much stress. (Plus the POTS gives me issues with standing.) Before I realized I am Aspie I would wonder why I couldn't seem to handle the stress of even short shifts of 4-6 hours. Plus being shunned by the people I worked with, people in there picking on me, impatient customers etc. is just too much for me now. There were times I thought I'd absolutely snap & lose it in there.
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Diagnosed "Asperger's to a moderate degree" April 7, 2015.
Aspie score 145 of 200
NT score 56 of 200
AQ score: 47
RAADS-R score: 196
I'm kind of a loner and personally I don't think I need a whole lot of friends. Too much social interaction can make me extremely exhausted but I still think about trying to make some friends. The last few years I have not really tried to because I am often distrustful when I meet new people. A while ago I had a boyfriend that I got along with very well but I was in college and I was very busy with my studying. We broke up and he started stalking me and it went on for a while. This is one of the reasons that I'm often afraid to start relationships with people. And I do often feel happy and calm when I'm alone, like jk1 said. And I also think it's important to accept yourself for who you are and not to worry about what other people think.
The thing I'm worried about the most is if I will have trouble fitting in when I'm in a work environment. Most of the time, I could care less about what people think of me, but I'm worried about getting a job and not being able to make a good impression all the time and then getting fired because of that.
When I was a child I was mistreated by almost everyone. I had no social skills whatsoever. I talked to myself constantly, When I would attempt to converse with others I would usually just ramble. I touched myself inappropriately in public without knowing I was doing it. I would flap my hands whenever I got upset. Children would taunt me just to get a laugh out of me melting down.
I have now held a steady career for 32 years and have traveled the world - admittedly at times with some difficulty. I learned very gradually how to make and hold proper eye contact. I can sit in a bar and strike up a conversation with a stranger and have a very enjoyable talk.
I am still chronically nervous. I can still show a little bit of stemming when I get excited or stressed. I am consciously aware that I have to avoid certain stress levels less I unravel.
But I decided at a young age that I realized that I could sit in a room all by myself and be nervous and upset or I could go out and accomplish things - Still being nervous and upset some of the time but having a much more enjoyable life. One amazing thing I discovered with anxiety is that if I just waited it out - things will get better. The sun will come out tomorrow and it's only a day away.
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