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sadaspie
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15 Aug 2014, 5:56 pm

Hi everyone. Before I start I just want to say that I get along very well with my mom and her relatives, but I've had some problems with my dad lately. He can be a real piece of work sometimes and I don't know why, though my mom and I suspect that he might also have Asperger Syndrome (perhaps among other things).
Anyway, the last few months my dad was very hard to get along with and we sometimes hang up on each other when we speak on the phone. He yells a lot and if I tell him to leave me alone he does not understand, he doesn't take no for an answer. If we are on the phone, I have the option of hanging up but I can't do that when I'm actually with him. This week I told him that I'm applying for a job with the post office, and he got all upset and said that I needed to get a more prestigious job. He said that at my age people should have better jobs than that. This kind of talk upsets me because I know that the economy isn't perfect right now and I believe that anyone who has a job is lucky. I hope to someday have a job that I really enjoy but I'm young and I know this will take time. I have just finished a bachelor's degree in Psychology and I would like to work in that field but I'm not sure I'm ready for it. This year I worked as a teaching assistant in a Special Ed classroom but it was very difficult and stressful. Right now I want to apply for a job that's less stressful but my dad doesn't care. Frankly, I think that he has been disappointed for may years now. When I was a teenager I took some voice lessons and he had these fantasies about me becoming a famous singer but I chose to quit taking the lessons and study Psychology instead. I think he has been disappointed ever since. He was kind of happy when I got my job in Special Education but now we're back to square one.
What am I supposed to do? I don't know how or when I can bring myself to talk with him again. I can't just shun one of my own family members but I just don't know what to do because my life is stressful enough and he makes it a lot more stressful.
Any suggestions?



progaspie
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15 Aug 2014, 6:15 pm

I would keep the line of communication open with your father, but at age 23 you're old enough to make your own decision, so if your gut feel is to apply for a job in the post office even though you're overqualified, then that is what I would do. Better to have work than be unemployed. If you get the job keep your options open and work towards any promotional opportunities that arise, any extra training or schooling being offered. Since you make the decision you have yourself to blame if it doesn't work out, whereas if you just do what your father says then you have the easy option of blaming your father if it doesn't work out. Having made your mind up don't blame your father if it doesn't work out.



sadaspie
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15 Aug 2014, 6:22 pm

Thanks progaspie. Yes, I know I can make my own decisions and I would rather work at this job than be unemployed. I wouldn't blame my dad if it didn't work out. I mean, why would I?



kraftiekortie
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15 Aug 2014, 6:27 pm

Nothing wrong with a post office job; they're actually good for Aspies. You have a good union, and you get a pension when you retire.

If I were you, I would continue my education while you work at the post office.



sadaspie
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16 Aug 2014, 10:17 am

Yeah, I think they are very good for aspies so I hope I get this job. I'm not sure I will because they might wonder why I'm applying for it when I've just finished a degree in Psychology.



Jacoby
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16 Aug 2014, 11:37 am

Honestly, it sounds like it is his problem that he will need to learn to deal with. There isn't anything wrong with a job at the post office, a job there is better than no job at all and if you think it is less stressful that your previous one then there is no reason to think twice about it. I don't think there are a ton of jobs lining up for anyone with a psych degree, a lot of college graduates don't work in the field they got their degree in nowadays.



sadaspie
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16 Aug 2014, 8:13 pm

I know, exactly! Building a career is pretty difficult nowadays. Even if you graduated from college with really good grades, it usually takes people time to get experience and find the job that they really want to do. I don't know why some people (like my dad) act like everything is so easy. The main problem (I think) is that a lot of employers want you to have years of experience and lots of references. I feel like some of them don't really care how much time you spent in college, they are more concerned about your employment history.