I'm in a decline

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I asked my mum to write an account of my childhood for my upcoming psycologist's appointment. When I got the letter, the first thing she'd written was that she thought I had declined both socially and functionally in the last ten years.
This is true. Ten years ago I was more social, had more interests and was able to do things I wouldn't contemplate doing now.
Is this usual for people on the spectrum? What do you think causes it? I suspect mine is related to the pressure, anxiety and bullying I've experienced in the last ten years at work.

Double post.

I can relate to that. I feel like things have gotten a lot worse for me over the past five years or so and I reckon that's probably because I moved away from home and had to start taking care of myself. Other things I think have contributed to my "decline":

- Studying at university, which is more difficult and less structured than high school.
- My declining mental well-being. I've become more depressed and anxious.
- The fact that I found out that I have AS. When I started suspecting I had it (about three years ago) I started to analyze myself like crazy (I obsessed about it a lot). That has probably led me to notice things about my behaviour that I didn't notice before, which in turn has probably led to me being more aware of my limits. (This is one of the reasons I always worry that I've somehow "faked" my AS.)

I don't know if this is something that's common for people on the autism spectrum but the psychologist who assessed me didn't seem to think it was that weird when I told her about it. Personally I don't think it sounds strange that you've "declined both socially and functionally" over the past 10 years if you've been bullied and if you've gotten more anxious. Being anxious (etc.) is draining and once you've already spent a lot of energy on being anxious there isn't that much energy left for anything else, which makes it more difficult to function. I'm no expert though so I might be wrong.

^ No, I think you're exactly right. There isn't anything left. My spare time is more about recuperating than relaxing these days.

A couple of things here.

First, on top of your ASD you're probably also an introvert. Introverts loose vitality with too much interaction, especially when it's taxing, like when you're bullied. Social interaction, at work, with friends, at events etc, can give us more confidence, but it can also make us more reluctant. Aside from work, I hardly see anyone other than my wife and son. Social interaction usually feels like a net loss for me. Any gains are too often outweighed by anxiety and my intolerance for superficial exchanges.

Add ASD on top of that and all of the above seems magnified, confusing, often illogical, and too often one-sided. So we stay where anxiety is either absent or tolerable, where we don't have to put on the mask, and where, if we're going to waste time, at least it's on our own terms.

And for some reason, a lack of social functioning seems related to functioning in general. It's like, the more active I am, the more I get done in other things.

I think that makes sense, Narrator. Definitely relatable.

Hey, Raleigh, I know this is very off topic but do you listen to Bring Me the Horizon? Your avatar's a picture of Oliver Sykes if I'm not mistaken.

EDIT: Oh, I just saw your signature, which basically answers my question.

Yes, the more I have to deal with people the more I seem to decline. Every time I take one step forward to meet new people I take two back for people flat out ignoring me, humiliating me or betraying me. It's hard to meet nice people especially when you cannot read people, because of that I keep talking to the wrong people. I guess it's a defensive reaction.

I've posted basically exactly what I'm about to post before, but oh well because I think it's related. (possibly not applicable because unsure of your age)

When I was younger, I was definitely a bit off in a lot of ways. Except an important thing to remember is that when in comes to early development, it's not uncommon for even NTs to be a bit behind in some ways and struggle in others. So my issues at the time raised suspicion, but, when compared to my peers, it was that off. As I hit puberty, my peers had learned to cope with everyday challenges, had adapted, and naturally grew out of their struggles. For me, things had stalled and on top of that I was expected to have more personal responsibility. With less prompting, less support, and overall more expectations- the severe executive dysfunction became apparent along with the great gap in other aspects between me and my peers.

It wasn't so much that I had declined, it was just that my peers began to develop at a rate that I could no longer keep up with in a way that covered up some of my greater difficulties.