Anxiety from doing things you don't want to do

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I find myself in a lot situations where I force myself to do things I don't want to do, mainly because of my mum.

I understand that if I don't do what she asks me to do, she will be stuck with no one else to do the job. So I end up doing the job, but all the energy drains out of me and I cry as I do it. I have a lot of anger and I want to just leave the place or to kill myself (which is of course just a thought, I'd never seriously consider it), but instead I just cry quietly and do the job. Sometimes I do leave when asked to do things, but I do it a lot less recently for whatever reason, I don't know why.

No matter how simple the task, after I finish it I am left so drained (both mentally and physically) that I feel like my whole day was ruined. I simply want to go lay in bed with a book and shut the world out, and a new day can only start tomorrow because this day is OVER. The problem is that even as I do it, my mum gets depressed by me being in bed, because apparently people should always "do" things and she harasses me to do something else, which puts even more anxiety on me.

Does this ever happen to anyone else? Is this weird?

I don't have a diagnosis yet, but my understanding is that people with aspergers simply don't do things they don't want to do rather than do it begrudgingly. Does this ever happen to anyone else?

It is mentally draining. Its like 'I have to force myself to pay attention to this drudgery'.

Whether living with a child, parent, partner, friend / lodger, not having your own space can (by itself) be a drain, because (autie / aspie or not) you can never properly switch off from the other person.
When that person has (rightly or wrongly) some power over you even your most relaxed moments can be interupted, perhaps making it hard to relax at all ...even when you have the place to yourself.
However, you don't just sound 'put out' or distracted, you sound depressed, and that's worse coz it can adversely affect other parts of your life.
Of course, if your mum truly needs help (which means you are basically a care giver), your doctor needs to know that ...for both your sakes.
It doesn't sound like your mood changes monthly, so if its hormonal it might be diet related ...then again a short course of anti depressants might make you feel less tired for a while, which in turn might lead to you getting out more ...and a change of scenery really can be as good as a rest (and i don't mean you have to take part in something social ...unless you'd like to ~ you could just e.g. take a stroll in a park that you've never been to before).
And if talking to your doctor doesn't help them figure out why you're not coping with the world, they should be able to refer you to someone who can. [[ i do know that services vary from place to place, but you need to tell a professional about your situation before your health, and your relationship with your mum, deteriorates ]]


Whenever my schedule at work is changed, I experience a lot of anxiety. Though I struggle with it, I try to focus on special intense interests when this happens. Also, I will sometimes think ahead to what I should be doing after the task is finished that is giving me the anxiety. When such a change does occur to my schedule, I prefer it happens early on in the day so that I don't have to dread it all day.

It sounds like the OPs day isn't ruined by doing chores for her mother, but by having her routine interrupted to do them. Perhaps if she could get a list of things that need doing from her mom the day before, she could integrate it into her plan for the next day and it wouldn't mess her up so much.

I have had this happen to me. Sometimes I do it no problem and other times it's hard to do and I am just anxious to get it done and over with and want to relax. When I lived in Montana, I always hated when I had to leave a TV show or a video game or computer just to help my family herd the cows back in the field behind the fence. I used to get anxiety over it and then i got used to it. But it does drain me. One time I had to take my husband back to work to drop off the keys he accidentally brought home and then he wanted to take me to McDonalds and rent a movie but I just wanted to go home and I felt I was going to have a meltdown if we stopped there so he let me go home. It was very hard doing it but I had to or else he loses his job which he eventually did for medical reason. Then going to McDonalds would have been too much. I think this was more due to a change in routine and a surprise so of course I didn't want to do it. The key thing I had to. The McDonalds was just a luxury and my husband tried to make it more fun by saying he can get my a McFlurry and a toy and a movie and I just couldn't handle it.