Eye contact during therapy

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Joined: 28 Oct 2017
Age: 45
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29 Oct 2017, 12:03 am

Can you guys with diagnosis make eye contact while in therapy?

I have a hard time with eye contact in day to live with EVRYONE in my life

But when I’m in therapy one on one I can litteraly hold eye contact for the whole hour no problem.

My therapist even mentioned it. I said I know, it’s different for some reason.

DancingCorpse
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29 Oct 2017, 12:28 am

I probably made eye contact a handful of times with my old therapist, it did not affect the work or relationship. I had never considered the possibility I was autistic during this period and it was only after I had analyzed and sweeped up all of the pieces and edges I had uncovered with this beautiful human being that I decided to pursue an autism assessment. I spend so much effort in other ways, I can gaze at people but it's very difficult, I prefer to express and engage and use the eyes as a secondary way to convey. I know if I am in love I can stare and gawk plenty, it is very intimate for me to hold eye contact, I feel like I'm trespassing lol.

thewheel
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29 Oct 2017, 12:33 am

No when I was seeing the mental health therapist it was the same as ever, I can't look and listen at the same time as it's overload.

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Dragnet
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29 Oct 2017, 12:35 am

I don't think I have the whole hour no,

I starred down my doctor last time though,

If I don't think about it, it slips my mind, probably, maybe, I don't know, I do it when I feel like it :-)

Canadian Penguin
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29 Oct 2017, 12:39 am

Yes I can. I've never really thought about it though.

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Dragnet
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29 Oct 2017, 12:40 am

Also nice username dude :-)

bunnyb
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29 Oct 2017, 2:45 am

I can't. It's one of the things that many therapists and Dr's have found immensely irritating about me and the more irritated they become, the more autistic I become and it all turns to shite. The only people I can make eye contact with comfortably are my Husband and kids. I could make eye contact with my Mum but she's dead now. I could never make eye contact with my Father who sadly isn't dead.
I really don't understand why eye contact is seen as such an important thing by NT's. Even when I explain that I can either look at them or listen to them but I can't do both, they still say things like 'Look at me when I'm talking to you.' Why, just why!

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xatrix26
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29 Oct 2017, 3:30 am

paranoidasallhell wrote:

Personally I would have a great deal of difficulty with making eye contact especially with a therapist. My current therapist does not require this thank goodness. It's just a fundamental aspect of being Autistic and a therapist who demands eye contact is being unreasonable I think.

For me I simply become confused and I lose my train of thought with eye contact. I'm sure there's a much deeper reason and a few more reasons on top of that for me but this is a really hard issue and it's been discussed at length in other threads because it's so important to us ASDs.

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paranoidasallhell
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29 Oct 2017, 5:38 pm

DancingCorpse wrote:

I know how you feel. Thank you for the reply.

paranoidasallhell
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29 Oct 2017, 5:40 pm

Canadian Penguin wrote:

Yes I can. I've never really thought about it though.

“Fascinating!” - in Frasier Crane voice : )

And you have been diagnosed?

paranoidasallhell
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29 Oct 2017, 5:41 pm

xatrix26 wrote:

paranoidasallhell wrote:

Whoops replyed to the wrong post. Tiny iPhone screen.

Hmmm I don’t so much get confused as I become highly aware of it and start wondering if I’m making to much or to little.

Last edited by paranoidasallhell on 29 Oct 2017, 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

paranoidasallhell
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29 Oct 2017, 5:42 pm

Dragnet wrote:

Also nice username dude :-)

Haha thank you ! It seemed appropriate for the moment.

paranoidasallhell
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29 Oct 2017, 5:48 pm

bunnyb wrote:

Well you’d think they’d understand given the circumstances and their credentials.

You have to think about it how they see it. When most people avoid eye contact it seems like they’re not interested in you or even worse, hiding something.

Imagine if you were talking to somebody and they walked away from you. It’s kinda like that on a smaller level.

But think about it like this, if people are getting frustrated that you’re not looking at them it means they care about you a lot : )

Canadian Penguin
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29 Oct 2017, 8:33 pm

paranoidasallhell wrote:

Canadian Penguin wrote:

Yes I can. I've never really thought about it though.

“Fascinating!” - in Frasier Crane voice : )

And you have been diagnosed?

I have.

It's something I force myself to do.

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BeggingTurtle
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30 Oct 2017, 12:04 am

xatrix26 wrote:

I'm good at faking eye contact; I look at people's lips and good at small lip reading but struggle because I often get distracted by other social cues or their voice. I especially cannot maker eye contact with a therapist. My experience with therapists is thay are largely useless and have tried to squeeze money out of you. A sure sign they are not good is forcing eye contact.
I'm actually good at eye contact with other autistics or people I dated in the past. I can make partial eye contact with siblings of autistics. I have this weird affinity that tells me; it's scary how accurate it is sometimes.

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soloha
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30 Oct 2017, 2:03 pm

bunnyb wrote:

Same. I just had a doctor snap at me the other day for it. I'm not going back to that doctor!

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