"losing or gaining energy from being around others"

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I just read the above title on an article elsewhere which caused me to wonder the following question.

Now I do like people, well some anyway, but no matter how much I like them, even if I am in a relationship with them, I lose energy, I need to go home and have a rest.

The question being therefore, is it the case that some people, (NT's), actually gain energy from being around others?
Do they feel tired and listless when in their own company and need to be with other people in order to feel what we need to be alone to feel?

Yes. They are called 'extroverts' but they are actually soul-sucking vampires in disguise.

I see.

Previously I imagined extroverts to just be people who already had their own energy, maybe in abundance, who did not find social interaction to be hard work that drained energy, so were free to have the kind of fun I imagined it would be nice to be able to have.

I never saw them as needy creatures unable to maintain themselves and so being driven to be the life and soul of the party types out of an unfulfilled hunger.

It.s looking like what I had previously considered to be the weak side, the introverts, are actually the stronger side, able to sustain themselves, maybe that's why they are called "the strong silent type"?

I wonder therefore if some extroverts find social intercourse just as daunting as us but force themselves to engage in order to feed?

There is a certain amount of insecurity that comes with extroversion. The fear is that they will lose their audience. The true, high end extrovert is the person who will touch your arm while they're talking to you. This is an unconscious attempt to restrain you from getting away (a captive audience). Makes me want to run.
At least being an introvert you are more self-sufficient when you recharge.

Last edited by Raleigh on 03 Nov 2014, 5:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

I suspect they naturally gain energy from it and don't realize how much they are draining us.

I agree. That's all it is. They're not vampires. That's like calling introverts ghosts, or mole people, just because they don't seek attention.

Extroverts sure are irritating and exhausting to be around, though.

Now whilst I acknowledge we lose energy and extroverts gain energy from social situations, I am not so sure that it is a direct transference of our energy from us into them like a vampire drinking blood.

If that was the case and a 100 extroverts turned up at a party to which not a single introvert attended, would all the extroverts collapse from a lack of energy source?
Rather I think, though they need others to do so, they actually gain energy from within themselves manufactured by an exciting environment, and whilst we losing energy in the same environment might suggest a physical transference of energy from one to another, I don't think it actually happens like that, its an internal thing.

Ive seen packs of extroverts all gaining energy in each others company as they get louder and louder as each vie for attention, its horrible to watch.

I don't think I'm an introvert. I'm just self-centred. It takes a lot of energy to turn the focus on someone else because I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts all the time. As a result I make an effort to ask questions when I'm genuinely not interested and that's just draining. I might even be an extrovert because I don't mind it if someone listens to me but listening to someone else doesn't give me any joy. It's either effortless if I like/care about the person or draining if I don't like the person. It's never energizing. I think I'm a psychopathic extroverted leech who rarely interacts with people. Is that an oxymoron with the "rarely interacts with people" part added?

Extroverts are like flowers, growing in bunches in the light.

Introverts are like mushrooms, growing alone or in small groups in the dark.

LOL

I prefer:-

Extroverts are like a pack of gibbering monkeys, frightened and anxious when alone and vulnerable.

Introverts are like a Black Panther, mysterious and rare as it stalks the jungle alone. The necessity of coming together to breed a time of anxiety fraught with danger.

it is indeed not that extroverts 'eat' the energy of introverts, since if that were the case, a group of only extroverts would be unable to gain energy.

it is rather the case that 'other people' act like a cathalyst for energy generation for an extrovert, so they can both gain energy from each other.
i am also introverted, most people drain me, although there are some that i can have around me for neutral energy: i can't recover with them around, but at least they don't cause me to lose energy.

If there was a like option on this site I would like this. It's clever, poetic, and also a bit funny.

It's too bad Nambo doesn't appreciate it and had to make a worse version with the same structure that he thought was better. [sarcasm]He's so creative.[/sarcasm]

I know that feeling of exhaustion being around certain people, or large groups, but have found if I put myself in the right frame of mind it is not so tiring and can be enjoyable. But I have to switch a lot of switches in my head to reconfigure.

An experienced swimmer crosses the pool with minimum effort. The beginner thrashes about and gets to the other side exhausted, if at all.

It is artificial to frame it all in introvert/extrovert though. The majority are inbetween. I think the real extrovert is like the opposite extreme of the pendulum and just as much an anomaly.

That's a bit of a nasty over-reaction isn't it?
I do appreciate Nerdygirls illustration and find it poetic.
However considered it showed Extroverts in a better light than introverts hence my response and in a matching structure by way of reply.
What Nerdygirl started was a good idea that maybe others could demonstrate in a similar manner the way they feel about the differences between extroverts and introverts?

I got the impression that it didn't seem to favour extroverts or introverts but I guess that's subjective. Growing alone or in small groups in the dark doesn't sound that negative to me.

And you're right that what I said was nasty. Sorry.

I always lose energy around other people, even if they are family. It's like other people suck energy out of you. Afterwards, I'm enourmously relieved to be alone and have everything go back to the way it should be.