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vickygleitz
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03 Nov 2014, 10:22 am

I know that this is not where I am supposed to post. But yesterday Bobby broke down and could not stop crying for about 4 hours straight. Last night LJ was crying in his bed and I asked if he wanted to watch tv from our bed. He did and finally fell asleep.I still do not have tests that definitively say that the cancer is no longer in remission, but quite a few that are screaming "How long are you going to hang onto your denial you stupid b***h." I need to be able to come here and talk about it. I need to hear you tell me that you care and are praying for me. I cannot go to the Haven because I am so afraid that I will get angry with members who want to die and that is the last thing they need.
Mostly, it's my husband, kids and grandkids,[ and my husband is quite ill too] but what is going to happen to Authaven and the Autistic community in Pueblo.

This is still not a definitive thing right, or am I in denial? Please don't tell me everyone dies. I already know that.



azstar1992
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03 Nov 2014, 10:34 am

i dont know if this help

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

Eleanor Roosevelt


We draw our strength from the very despair in which we have been forced to live. We shall endure.

Cesar Chavez

You have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.

J. R. R. Tolkien


If one suffers we all suffer. Togetherness is strength. Courage.

Jean-Bertrand Aristide

i can only that this community is behind you



skibum
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03 Nov 2014, 10:54 am

:heart:


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kraftiekortie
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03 Nov 2014, 10:56 am

I second Skibum.



animalcrackers
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03 Nov 2014, 11:33 am

vickygleitz wrote:
I know that this is not where I am supposed to post. But yesterday Bobby broke down and could not stop crying for about 4 hours straight. Last night LJ was crying in his bed and I asked if he wanted to watch tv from our bed. He did and finally fell asleep.I still do not have tests that definitively say that the cancer is no longer in remission, but quite a few that are screaming "How long are you going to hang onto your denial you stupid b***h." I need to be able to come here and talk about it. I need to hear you tell me that you care and are praying for me. I cannot go to the Haven because I am so afraid that I will get angry with members who want to die and that is the last thing they need.
Mostly, it's my husband, kids and grandkids,[ and my husband is quite ill too] but what is going to happen to Authaven and the Autistic community in Pueblo.

This is still not a definitive thing right, or am I in denial? Please don't tell me everyone dies. I already know that.


It's still not definitive.

Even if it turns out the remission is over, it doesn't mean that you have no more years of life ahead of you. It doesn't mean that you will never go into remission again.


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Suncatcher
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03 Nov 2014, 11:56 am

animalcrackers wrote:
vickygleitz wrote:
I know that this is not where I am supposed to post. But yesterday Bobby broke down and could not stop crying for about 4 hours straight. Last night LJ was crying in his bed and I asked if he wanted to watch tv from our bed. He did and finally fell asleep.I still do not have tests that definitively say that the cancer is no longer in remission, but quite a few that are screaming "How long are you going to hang onto your denial you stupid b***h." I need to be able to come here and talk about it. I need to hear you tell me that you care and are praying for me. I cannot go to the Haven because I am so afraid that I will get angry with members who want to die and that is the last thing they need.
Mostly, it's my husband, kids and grandkids,[ and my husband is quite ill too] but what is going to happen to Authaven and the Autistic community in Pueblo.

This is still not a definitive thing right, or am I in denial? Please don't tell me everyone dies. I already know that.


It's still not definitive.

Even if it turns out the remission is over, it doesn't mean that you have no more years of life ahead of you. It doesn't mean that you will never go into remission again.


Agreed.
As much as i dont really understand the language of 'touching', here are some virtual hugs.

*gives hug*

I wish you the very best, vicky


:heart:



Adamantium
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03 Nov 2014, 12:40 pm

Let me join this chorus:
:heart:

And also say that I don't know if this works for you, right now, Vicky, but it speaks powerfully to me, so I thank you for posting it, azstar1992.

azstar1992 wrote:
You have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.

J. R. R. Tolkien



CockneyRebel
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03 Nov 2014, 7:23 pm

We're sorry to hear that.

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jk1
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03 Nov 2014, 7:38 pm

Although you probably don't know me at all, I have read some of your posts and I've been worrying about you. I care and pray for your full recovery. Please keep posting here.