Age regression during emotional crisis?

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*Trigger warning for mention of depression and suicide*



I've been going through a hard time emotionally lately (to the extent that I've been depressed, having more meltdowns/panic attacks, and have even been contemplating suicide), and I've found myself acting more childlike than usual, in the following ways:

-Taking more comfort items with me than usual, when I go places (such as a Tangle, two small plushies in my hoodie pocket and three other small ones in my bag)

- Rocking back and forth even more to stim and self-soothe...I even do it a little bit in public now

- Watching preschool shows more often, such as Doc McStuffins, Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger, DragonTales, Peppa Pig, Timmy Time and Pajanimals (Pajanimals helps me fall asleep)

- Wanting someone to say "Good night" to me at night, greet me with "Good Morning" when I wake up, and say, "I love you" before I go to sleep

- Listening to lullabies on my MP3 player or Youtube

- Thinking about things/speaking in a more simple, childlike way

- Crying a lot and wishing there was someone around to hold me and help me calm down

- Wanting to just stay in my room, in my bed with all my stuffed animals, with my earbuds in, shutting out the world and recuperating from the day/school week

Is this sort of thing normal when one is experiencing an emotional crisis? Is this part of the "autistic burnout" that I've heard about? I know everyone experiences these things differently.....

Can someone give me some advice? Some reassurance, understanding and pertinent information would be preferred, rather than criticism and "tough love"....the latter are what reduced me to this, quite frankly. Thanks in advance.

I also tend to regress when I am under a lot of stress or depressed. Some drink, some eat, some do drugs, some smoke, and of course some do regression. We all handle it differently. Some people play computer games and my mom will just read more. I will also go to my interests more.
I honestly think regression is better than drinking or smoking and doing drugs and of course over eating.

I am not sure what advice you are looking for like do you want advice about how to grow up or how to get out of being depressed and suicidal?

These are all things that comfort/soothe you, distract you from probems, and/or make you happy, right? Things that help you reduce or cope with stress or feel more secure as you go about your days?

I think that it's normal for everyone to do more activities for stress-reduction, self-soothing, and comforting when you're under a lot of stress or very upset. It's actually quite healthy.

People watch all kinds of TV shows and listen to all kinds of music for the same reasons you watch sesame street and listen to lullabies ....they don't seem fundamentally different to me.

Many adults have comfort items, they're just sometimes more in line with adult social norms (e.g. a favorite piece of clothing, a keepsake they carry around)....That they may also be typical items for adults to have or carry around doesn't change that they are comfort items with similar or identical roles to your comfort items. (Tangles are actually marketed for all ages, by the way -- the packaging of mine recommended it for quitting smoking.)

Just doing things that you normally do and find helpful in stressful or upsetting circumstances, except a lot more often, I don't even think that's regression -- I think that's just responding to stress and trying to cope.



I don't know what this means, exactly, but I think that many people (autistic and non-autistic), when they are in crisis will have difficuty thinking in complex ways. Your brain gets overwhelmed and things don't work as well.



I think that crying is a totally normal human thing. People of all ages cry. Crying more than whatever is normal for you as an adult is just a sign that something is wrong ....that you're very upset / experiencing a lot of strong negative emotions.

I also think it is totally normal for a person of any age to want to be comforted and to wish they had help to calm down and feel better when they are very upset and cannot calm or comfort themselves.

Most people have times when they really want or need support and comfort from another person to be okay -- not everyone wants physical comfort like being held (many peope do, though), some want words or just someone to be in the same room with them, but it's still the same sort of want/need for comfort and help.



That sounds really normal for someone in emotional crisis -- people of all ages do stuff like that.



I don't think that rocking / stimming is childish but if you're doing it in public when you wouldn't normally, that just seems to me to suggest that your stress is high enough and you're feeling bad enough that looking normal is less of a priority than usual or that you don't have the mental energy/focus to suppress it to the extent you normally do. Which seems like a totally normal stress-related thing, either way. People who normally care a lot about how they look might go to the store in pajamas they've been wearing for days, without shaving or combing their hair, if they are in emotional crisis -- because appearance and what other people think has dropped low on the list of priorities or because they aren't paying good attention to things and don't even realize that they're going out without looking how they'd like.



Almost forgot this one. Having someone who is always there to greet you and always there to wish you a good night, someone to tell you they love you...is it like, knowing someone is always there -- that you are not alone and you are loved? Knowing you are not alone and that you are loved tends to be important even when things are not really hard -- in an emotional crisis it would make sense for them to be even more important. Plus it could add a little bit of routine to add stability and predictability which can be very useful to minimize stress.



I think autistic burnout refers to pushing yourself too hard for too long -- until you can't push anymore and you are constantly exhausted and so stressed out that none of your normal coping abilities work and you find that despite trying harder and harder you manage to do less and less and succeed less and less often....things get worse until you can't manage at all anymore and psychological/emotional breakdown may be the only thing that forces you to take a break and try to change things (I think most people need help to recover and to rebuild a more sustainable / manageable life for themselves).

(Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why it's called "autistic burnout" instead of just "burnout" ... maybe to indicate that its problems related to being autistic that cause it?)

Last edited by animalcrackers on 08 Nov 2014, 4:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a hard time. I understand what you are going through, and I don't think there is anything strange or bad about what you're doing. To me it sounds like a natural way to compensate for increased stress. So by all means, listen to as many lullabies and watch as many kids' shows as you need to until you feel better. I also feel more like a child when things go wrong. Often I retreat from the situation ASAP because it feels too "big" and ugly for me to deal with, and then I stay in my room and recover with my interests just like you do. League Girl is right: we all handle these things differently and it's much better for you than other habits such as drinking.

Just as long as you don't hurt yourself or something like that. You are such a nice person and we enjoy reading your posts! You have more going for you than you might think: for example, a nice room to stay in, lots of friends to hang out with (it doesn't matter that they're stuffed toys, simply that they feel like friends and you can trust them) and simple, non-destructive ways to cope with your symptoms.

You also sound like a free spirit, and I admire you for that too. Thanks to your example, I've started taking Suzie with me to more and more places like restaurants, my mother's house, and appointments with my psychologist. (She really helps. )

You're not alone, and you can get through this. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you, and PM me if you would like to talk.

Thanks, guys.