Hit The Wall... And Struggling

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Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 81
Location: Maryland

20 Nov 2014, 6:53 pm

It has been more than two months since receiving my official diagnosis. I thought the knowing that what I suspected to be ASD was indeed the case would make things a little easier.
It hasn't.
It's just a diagnosis, after all.
The comorbidities, though, are staring to get to me. One of them I've known I've had for a long time, major depression. The panic disorder manifested itself in my twenties, but like the ASD, is only a recent diagnosis. Agoraphobia? From what I've discovered, that isn't uncommon for people on the spectrum.
But still, I am so tired anymore.
I've been out of work for over two years, and am living with my parents, who fortunately are supportive. After more than three decades on the job market, after I crashed and burned in the summer of 2012, I just don't know.
Not for lack of trying, mind you. I've been looking for the past two years, but not even an interview. I guess they look at my resume and assume "unstable", and move on. And whose to blame them?
I spoke with the clinician who helped with the diagnosis about the very real possibility that I may need to pursue disability, and she was very frank; yes, you should. My idiosyncrasies (aka my problems), combined, have made keeping a job a real chore. My ASD has insured that I have an exceptionally narrow focus, a focus that is all but useless where I currently reside. Combined with a few nasty health problems (thyroiditis, crippling migraines, type II diabetes), and... well, you see the problem.
I'm just tired, and perhaps venting.
I just want some peace.

kicker
Velociraptor

Joined: 10 Oct 2013
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 467
Location: Atalnta, Ga

20 Nov 2014, 7:21 pm

They didn't tell you what to do with the diagnosis did they?

slave
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Feb 2012
Age: 113
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,420
Location: Dystopia Planetia

20 Nov 2014, 7:42 pm

I'm just tired, and perhaps venting.
I just want some peace.

@VAstronomer

You sound like you still want some productivity and sense of accomplishment in your life....and that lack of same may be part of the fatigue and low mood.

Would you consider helping with some Citizen Science projects?
We could use someone with your knowledge and focus.

Let me know if you are curious.

B19
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jan 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,993
Location: New Zealand

20 Nov 2014, 7:42 pm

VagabondAstronomer wrote:

It has been more than two months since receiving my official diagnosis. I thought the knowing that what I suspected to be ASD was indeed the case would make things a little easier.

It's early days. Give yourself time. Most of us here, I think, took longer to come to terms with the realisation that we were on the spectrum

It hasn't.
It's just a diagnosis, after all.

Yes, it is - it doesn't take into account your unique talents, possibilities, and soul.

The comorbidities, though, are staring to get to me. One of them I've known I've had for a long time, major depression. The panic disorder manifested itself in my twenties, but like the ASD, is only a recent diagnosis. Agoraphobia? From what I've discovered, that isn't uncommon for people on the spectrum.
But still, I am so tired anymore.

First things first: get the rest you need. You may need a lot of self-care on the basics right now. Some people go through a grieving process, and grief is physically energy intensive.

I've been out of work for over two years, and am living with my parents, who fortunately are supportive. After more than three decades on the job market, after I crashed and burned in the summer of 2012, I just don't know.
Not for lack of trying, mind you. I've been looking for the past two years, but not even an interview. I guess they look at my resume and assume "unstable", and move on. And whose to blame them?

You have succeeded before. You can succeed again. It may be that you could reshape your resume with a career consultant for maximum effect.

I spoke with the clinician who helped with the diagnosis about the very real possibility that I may need to pursue disability, and she was very frank; yes, you should. My idiosyncrasies (aka my problems), combined, have made keeping a job a real chore. My ASD has insured that I have an exceptionally narrow focus, a focus that is all but useless where I currently reside. Combined with a few nasty health problems (thyroiditis, crippling migraines, type II diabetes), and... well, you see the problem.
I'm just tired, and perhaps venting.

Vent away. It is healthy at times like this.

I just want some peace.

I'm sure you do. Give it time. Be kind and respectful to yourself. Hugs.

VagabondAstronomer
Blue Jay

Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 81
Location: Maryland

20 Nov 2014, 8:15 pm

slave wrote:

Believe me when I tell you, this brought tears to my eyes. Believe it or not, I am involved in some science; I do daily solar observations, mainly sunspot counts. I am part of a global network of observers. No pay, but for two hours a day, I feel useful.
But the depression has become so bad that once I've done that, I usually return to bed.
Please feel free to PM me, as I am curious as to what you folks are doing there. After all, science rocks.

VagabondAstronomer
Blue Jay

Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 81
Location: Maryland

20 Nov 2014, 8:19 pm

B19 wrote:

I'm sure you do. Give it time. Be kind and respectful to yourself. Hugs.

Thank you. Truly.

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