Circled back to where I started in 2010.

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I started reading this forum in 2010 when I was in my last year of college. I was mute and naturally very good looking (I was told), so I used being quiet and the pretty privilege (as a guy) to slide through college. I was able to say what I think, but spoke occasionally due not understanding what is going on around me, lacking social intelligence and life experience. I was in tune to others (with many blanks due to autism) and a people pleaser due to being raised by dominating grandmother and mom. I was parentified as a child, which sort of helped be more mature as far getting a job and wanting to pay back college loans which I did.

I finally made 3-4 friends, but due to me being mean, dumb, boundary violating, co dependent, and a dick - they all stopped talking to me and blocked me over the past 15 years, with last one being this year.

Along the way, I unknowingly joined a licensed group therapy cult near Harvard University (USA) run by a relative of Richard Gere. The therapist was mean and toxic and taught and trained us to be use violent communication with people. He was actually a real psychopath (we think) weaponizing therapy to potentially enjoy destroying people's lives by giving them bad advice for his own entertainment. Apparently some psychopaths do that out of boredom.

Dumb me copied this vile evil man word for word, and started being mean and toxic and nasty to family members leading to eventually me cutting them off partially. Something I would not like to do, but I did it under stress.

I had a job that gave me FREE RENT and paid $400 a month on top of my regular job, but I felt like people there judged me for being immature and a loser with how I spent all my free time eating out and sitting at starbucks on my laptop.

I held that job, while spending half of my money on eating out and entertainment, strippers and hoarding items.

I then took an SSRI and stopped it abruptly, which gave men mixed state mania, I had a personality change, started being very autistic rude aggressive and almost got arrested, then got evicted and fired, but got my job back by luck.

Anyway here I am back again here. I actually think that this forum taught me bad ranting manners, which set me up to write inappropriate emails at work. Not sure this forum helped at all tbh.

I also go mute on and off from time to time. I also hate society but stick to the idea of loving people. I also grew up with alot of abuse. Stay away from strippers brother, you can do better.

Welcome back!

You may have made some unfortunate choices but you are certainly young enough to start over again. Age discrimination won't become a big issue for you for another decade.