Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Are you able to walk away and come back later?

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

SadPhD
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 Dec 2014
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 51

19 Dec 2014, 2:00 pm

I mean specifically about a fight or argument with someone else. If they say in the middle of the argument "I'm too angry to continue, and we have to stop and come back to this later," are you able to do that?

I'm not able to do that. When someone does that to me, cuts me off in the middle, I can't let go of what we were fighting about. Supposedly walking away is supposed to make you calm down. It doesn't work that way for me. I just get angrier and angrier.


_________________
--
Aspie-Quiz v.3 score:
Neurodiverse 159/200
Neurotypical 46/200
VIQ/PIQ (updated 2018): 122/110
Official dx in 2001; re-dx'd in 2018


LokiofSassgard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2014
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 719
Location: My own autistic wonderland!

19 Dec 2014, 2:05 pm

I don't really like arguing with people. In arguments, I'm more likely to have outbursts due to frustration and anxiety. So, I usually do my best to avoid them by walking away or simply not getting involved with them. D: Most people keep on going and going without giving any consideration towards how heated the fight is getting.


_________________
Currently diagnosed with Autistic Disorder, ADHD, severe anxiety, learning delays and developmental delays.


olympiadis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,849
Location: Fairview Heights Illinois

19 Dec 2014, 4:09 pm

SadPhD wrote:
I mean specifically about a fight or argument with someone else. If they say in the middle of the argument "I'm too angry to continue, and we have to stop and come back to this later," are you able to do that?

I'm not able to do that. When someone does that to me, cuts me off in the middle, I can't let go of what we were fighting about. Supposedly walking away is supposed to make you calm down. It doesn't work that way for me. I just get angrier and angrier.



I can see how it can be very helpful to do so, but it is also very difficult.
The ability to completely shut things off is a psychopathic trait, and one that a great many normal people aspire to be better at.
That you find it very difficult to do may just highlight your inability to adopt psychopathic type behaviors.



animalcrackers
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,207
Location: Somewhere

19 Dec 2014, 11:30 pm

SadPhD wrote:
I mean specifically about a fight or argument with someone else. If they say in the middle of the argument "I'm too angry to continue, and we have to stop and come back to this later," are you able to do that?

I'm not able to do that. When someone does that to me, cuts me off in the middle, I can't let go of what we were fighting about. Supposedly walking away is supposed to make you calm down. It doesn't work that way for me. I just get angrier and angrier.


I don't think that walking away is supposed to make you calm. I think it's supposed to prevent the fight from getting worse -- to be damage control. Whatever you do to calm down after you walk away is what's supposed to make you calm down.


_________________
"Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving." -- Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Love transcends all.