Patronizing people turning grumpy

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I used to deal with patronizing people all the time. They've now been replaced by grumpy and unengaged people. It drives me crazy. Maybe it's because I'm acting normal enough to seem normal, but I still seem off. Has anyone else noticed this change?

No, but it sounds like an improvement. I don't particularly like grumpy people, but I dislike patronising people much more.

I agree it's an improvement. At least the grumpy people see me as a difficult normal person instead of a non-NT. Grumpy people aren't too bad because I'm starting to make real friends now. Not pity friends.

It's kind of like learning a foreign language. If someone says your English is good, that's a sign you English isn't that great.

How could you distinguish the real friends from the pity friends? Doesn't others seeing you as a difficult NT rather than autistic remove their reason to try harder to engage with you and give you the leeway you need? Or is the point that you don't want the leeway, even if it might be helpful (assuming it is, that is.) Frankly, I'd prefer having people patronise me rather than act mean or disinterested; patronising people are annoying, but at least I know they're trying to be friendly and helpful; grumpy people are just unpleasant to be around, and they always make me feel like I've done something wrong, even when I haven't.

Real friends interact with me. Pity friends treat me like I'm younger and try to change me.

I do have the same issues with grumpy people that you have. I constantly feel like I'm doing something wrong and they're unpleasant. They're also harder to interact with.

When people are patronizing it's worse because I get put into an awkward place. I'm stuck in that place where I feel younger and inferior or "little." It just stops normal interactions from happening.

I still feel like I'm doing everything wrong when people are patronizing towards me. If they're grumpy there's a chance they're just grumpy towards everyone or having a rough day at work.

I don't think very many people are patronizing towards everyone. It just feels more personal when people are patronizing.

Ah, the schmooze language, with which one can be damned with faint praise.

"Super to see you!! !" = "Hello"
"That's great!! !" = "That's mediocre, but I don't want to demoralise you"
"That's quite good" = "I'm prepared to tolerate that"
"I need to go to bed soon, got a hard day at work tomorrow" = "Get out of my house"

It's very different from my native Yorkshire, where "it'll do" sometimes meant "that's great!! !"

I'm not grumpy.....do you still like me?