How can I be less stupid?
I feel I do a lot of stupid things. I don't mean big decisions, in fact I'm rather sensible when it comes to making big life decisions. But it's little things where I go wrong. I seem to be absent-minded, miss details, easily distracted, scatterbrained, forgetful, slow and easily confused. It makes people think I'm stupid. Like when I'm given a simple task, I get object-blindness, which is embarrassing. I do laugh it off when it happens, to keep me from feeling embarrassed, but then people just get more annoyed with me, and sometimes say "it's not funny". I hate my behaviour, but I don't know how to be more serious and organized and focused. I've brought plenty of note pads and even note books that are designed to organize your thoughts and routines, but I haven't used them. I just don't know where to start when writing stuff down. It can get so frustrating, and makes me lose respect from people. What can I do?
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I don't think any of that makes you stupid.
I have ADD, and I often had the exact same problems you are describing; it helped me to make a to-do document on my computer, and list all my obligations and deadlines. Notebooks didn't help because I'd forget to check them, but since I was on my computer a lot, it was easy for me to see the icon and check to see if there was anything I needed to do.
BetwixtBetween
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I don't mean being absent-minded is factually stupid, but in other people's eyes I am perceived as stupid. I'm going on an airplane this month, and I am worrying about the airport because last year when I was at the airport I got myself into a muddle. I had too many bags, and the queue got moving too quickly and I wasn't an octopus so I only had two hands, and I was dropping all my drugs (not illegal drugs, I mean my medication stuff) whilst trying to shove them into one of those clear bags ready to be checked through the thing, and then I was holding the queue up. Then I got into a bit of a muddle when placing my bags on the thing, and after I went through the detector thing I grabbed my bags and went to sit on a nearby bench - and realised I had left one of my bags in the thing so had to dash over and get it...
And I thought I was organised with all my luggage and belongings that day. Life's so much easier when you don't have bags. Bags stress me out.
do meditation
expend energy - exercise
use herbs
do concentration exercises
brain fog can be food's based
I actually do meditation. There are these meditation videos I found online that really help to soothe my thoughts and I often have a nap to it and feel so much better when I wake up.
I don't do much exercise, but I am going to take up swimming.
I don't quite know what you mean by concentration exercises, but I do a lot of writing because I love writing. I do creative writing as a hobby, and also I do drawing too.
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BetwixtBetween
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And I thought I was organised with all my luggage and belongings that day. Life's so much easier when you don't have bags. Bags stress me out.
Ah. OK, so when you know which airline you're flying and what kind of plane, start packing. Take note of the allowed dimensions and items. Use a checklist for your carry on and for your checked luggage, that way, you know what is where. The night before if possible, or the morning of if necessary, that is the time to put your pills in a plastic bag. Never wait until you're at the airport. Wear easy shoes for flying- loafers if for business, some other kind of slip on for leisure. Keep your jewelery or other accessories in your carry on if you must have it with you, that makes one less thing to remove. Same with your belt. You can put that stuff on when you make it through security. Don't try to carry on all your luggage. You only have two hands to grab with, and planes have only so much space to shove your stuff anyhow.
Sweetleaf
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I can certainly relate to that issue, though I am not sure I've always made the best choice with big decisions. But yeah it is very annoying to me, even more annoying is nagging from people, as if their nagging is going to somehow magically improve my memory or something. For instance I know one should clean up after them-self, so when I go to do something I do have that in mind...yet I might still leave some little thing out, or get side tracked by something else for a while until I realize I still have to clean up and I am the worst with losing little things and not being able to find it. I don't find those note-book day-planner things very helpful either I am so scatter-brained even if I did write stuff to do down, I would probably forget to look at it, lose the notebook and a number of other things. I try post it notes and a dry erase board to remember appointments or other plans, and still I miss appointments and what not.
But yeah people nagging doesn't help...I mean they think its annoying i left out a part of a tea wrapper on the counter, or that I forgot to wipe up my bread crumbs or god forbid left a cupboard open. Well it would be a lot more annoying for them if they actually had to deal with it in their brain and feel stupid all the time because of it. I have told people again and again especailly my moms boyfriend that if I've left something out or forgot to close a cupboard to just let me know so I can take care of it....But then he still thinks he needs to explain how to close a cupboard or how to put a cup in the dishwasher, lol its not a lack of knowledge as to what needs done its simply having stuff slip my mind so a reminder is helpful a lecture on how to do said task....is obnoxious and condescending.
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
do meditation
expend energy - exercise
use herbs
do concentration exercises
brain fog can be food's based
IDK caffeine actually seems to reduce any brain-fog I experience....and helps me be a bit more focused. Herbs are good, exercise I imagine I get plenty of since i do not drive is good, I don't seem to have the focus for meditation...lol and like the other poster who was a bit confused I am not entirely sure what a concentration exorcise is either so what is an example of that? I'd be willing to give it a go if you think that can really be helpful but just don't know exactly what those are....would like doing puzzles or just stuff that takes brain power be what you mean?
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
Lists. Lots of lists. I have lists for everything - day to day lists of what I'm intending to do each day, lists of important things to tell people - eg doctors, jobs. Lists of groceries or items to buy, lists of dates/appointments, lists of numbers and people, lists of things that happened that might be useful later (I was NOT speeding on this date, at this time, on this road, when a speed camera flashed), lists of considerations if certain eventualities happen, research lists, lists of costs of things, you get the idea. It used to be really embarrassing as I had notebooks everywhere that people could pick up and read into my personal business, or post-it notes everywhere, but now use the note taking function on my phone. Easy - just looks like you're endlessly fiddling with your phone like everyone else, but you secretly have a list database in there. I never found 'organisers' very useful either, as the categories aren't consistent.
Also might be helpful to understand why you are this way. What's behind it. I can come off as stupid because I don't function well at all, and people are really surprised when they talk to me and realise I'm above average intelligence. In my case I suspected it was emotionally based - I don't feel things very easily, just the EFFECTS of those things, and don't understand what's going on, which causes me to back off, shut down, run away, whereas a normal person would instinctually understand, adapt, and not be so uncomfortable they had to stop. Understanding what's behind the behaviour might help.
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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.
I get much the same thing, and I've handled it by keeping my interactions with the world down to a minimum. If I do nothing, I can't make any mistakes. The few things I do, I plan very carefully. I know that if I jump into anything too intensely social, they'll end up thinking I'm a jerk. It takes me days of planning to go on a plane journey and I'm still scared of missing some vital bit of info and ending up on the wrong plane or being suspected of terrorism. I'm so "behind the door":
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... d+the+door
Don't know how common that term is, but it was a pejorative that really cut your status in the town I grew up in.
It's not confined to social things and the judgements of others, in my case. I still notice my executive disfunction when I'm alone and trying to get organised or work on a project of any complexity. I've got a good brain overall, but it's rubbish at some things, it hyperfocusses on minute details and just stays there.
I think it helps my social performance to stick to people I'm fairly used to, and to activities I'm reasonably good at, as long as I don't forget to push the envelope occasionally so my defensive, minimal lifestyle doesn't get too boring. Paradoxically, I love challenge
. I try to choose my battles carefully, but I love being outrageously ambitious occasionally.


