How comfortable are you saying i love you

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how comfortable are you with someone says they love you or calling you darling, honey, sweetheart, baby, that kind of thing? and how do you feel about hugs?


i hate it when people say i love you, and i find it very difficult to say. i used to say i get along with my brother, i dont hate my brother. i couldnt say i love him, although i felt a the sibling connection i felt with no one else, maybe becaue he's an aspie too.


all this darling stuff is annoying when said with feeling, but i like it when people say this to strangers in an easy, effortless, and non committing manner. not in a loving manner, but more flattering. i've seen costomers talking to the waitress this way, "can you bring a cup of coffee, darling?" this is nice. i like this.

as for hugs, i communicate through touch, and i love it.

but as for all those nasty soap operas when people blubber, "Have i told you how happy you make me, how you are the meaning of my life, how important you are to me." this just makes me sick.

Why do we have such a hard time with these words? What are your thoughts on the subject? any explanation?

I'm very comfortable with it. I tell my family and my close friends that I love them often. In my family we all say that to each other. My husbands family doesn't. I've never heard a sibling say that to another one in his family. In my family, my kids say it to us and each other and it's always said when hanging up the phone. My best friend and I do that too. We always say I love you right before we say bye, whether it's phone or in person.

As for being called things like baby, honey, darling, etc, I'm fine with that and do it myself. I was raised in an area where that is very, very common. Everybody says it to each other, even strangers. Hell, I've forgotten and called a judge honey before, but he smiled and let it go. He said it happens. I personally like it when someone adds something like that when addressing me because it makes it friendlier. It's not a "coming on to" or flirting thing down here. It's just how we speak. I call people younger than me sweetie almost all the time, even if it's to a stranger and just "thank you sweetie". It's very common here and doesn't mean the same things that it does in other parts of the country, so I'm fine with it. It got me some funny looks when we lived in DC though lol.

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I like calling my wife things like honey, babe, ... and don't mind being called those things. I am not a big fan of hugs. It would be better if everyone just stayed in their own personal space. Also when talking to people I like to have my personal space respected.

Really only comfortable with pet names and I love yous with my dog... lol. I'm also okay with saying I love you quickly at the end of a phone call to close family.

I've always liked "I love you" - ever since I first realised I wanted a partner, I'd seen it so much in fiction that I'd figured it was the phrase I wanted to hear, and to have well-received if I said it. I tended to forget to say it once a relationship was under way. Couldn't see why anybody would need to be told a thing that they already knew. There was also the problem that my relationships usually turned rather sour eventually, and it started to feel phoney to say it. But my current relationship hasn't turned sour and we're both in the habit of saying "love you" to each other, and I like it that way. Outside of relationships, I'm embarrassed to hear it or use it. My sister tells me she loves me when she phones me, at the end of the call, but I've not been able to say it back. She also puts it at the end of emails to me, which I didn't reciprocate for a long time, until I realised I could just write "love" or "lots of love," which for some reason I have no problem with. It was commonly used on greeting cards when I was young, if it was appropriate, so I suppose it just feels more normal to me.

I dislike a lot of the other terms of affection. I can just about stand "darling," but not "honey" and definitely not "baby" or "babe." They seem like American imports, and if I used them I'd feel like I'd been watching too much television and was just parroting off what the media defined as the right words. Also, using "baby" to an adult tends to remind me faintly of paedophilia, especially "babe" when used to indicate sexual attraction towards a woman.

I dislike a lot of modern words anyway, romantic or not, and refuse to say them except to criticise their use. A lot of people in Sheffield called practically everybody "duck," which I quite liked. It was used so much that it had no emotional meaning, apart from a vague sign that the user was probably fairly harmless and saw the listener as some kind of human being. I quite like "m'dear," for some reason. It seems to have a mocking, satirical quality, not about the person who it's said to, but about the word itself, being so quaint. I tend to prefer economy of sentiment in talking and in song lyrics and poetry, I feel that less is more.

I can say it via text or online, especially to my boyfriend... but verbally saying it is really hard for me. I don't really know why either, but I just can't seem to say it verbally without the overwhelming anxiety. x_x

I love you, there I said it.

So easy, a caveman can do it.

I think it's also a cultural thing. I come from a culture where people don't say "I love you" comfortably. "I love you" sounds too embarrassing. It is only said in corny fictions, not in reality. The same can be said about "darling", "sweetheart" etc. When I hear people actually say one of those things (not to me), I feel embarrassed. I kind of admire the way they can say such corny things very naturally. Also in my culture I don't think people hug each other, even family members. I've never hugged my parents or my sisters although I love them.

I've never had a problem with this. I call my boyfriend all different sweet names, and he does the same with me. We also tell each other ''I love you'', and I don't feel uncomfortable at all.

But I do hate it when females call each other ''hun'' on Facebook in the comments underneath somebody's post. Actually, although I'm female, I get really annoyed when females talk to each other on Facebook like they would to their boyfriends, like ''I love you so much xxxxxxxx''. I know it's some form of banter or something but I just don't feel comfortable putting that sort of stuff to another female. I put kisses but that's it.

I love that stuff but only with my girlfriend & my previous two. I'm not comfortable with affection with anyone outside of a relationship, even my parents.

The words have always felt weird coming out of my mouth. I make a point of telling my folks I love them when I speak to them, but I have to prepare for it somewhat.

It's funny, sometimes my dad's like '*mumble*loveyoutoo.' I think it took a couple of years to get him to reciprocate, though I think that's as much because his own father never would have said that kind of thing to him so it may well feel strange admitting such a thing!

I'm comfortable with it, because love is a great thing to believe in. I say it to all my friends, family and relatives.

To say 'I love you' one must first be able to say the 'I.'

(Same author quoted below.) I didn't really get there until some time in my thirties.