Assessment protocol

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I have an adult Aspergers assessment next week and non-surprisingly it's been giving me confusing feelings. My problem is, my Mum is going to be present, the lady asked for her to be, to talk about my childhood etc. and I am rather afraid that she is going to see a side of me she hasn't really seen before.

In the past I have had issues talking to new people about myself. It's happened in one-on-one session with tutors and doctors etc. in the past, and sometimes it used to happen at school. I know what I want to say but it's like the translation doesn't get through and I lose my words and appear to have a stutter or in some cases I can't talk at all unless I take a really deep breath, kind of pretend the person isn't there, and then is all comes out in the weirdly even intonation. I've never really had this happen at home before. Yes I sometimes miss odd words or the end of a sentence disappears but not in an overly noticeable way because I try to cover it. I had thought I had maybe gotten over this because it hadn't happened for a while but then last week I had to speak to my tutor and it happened really badly, I couldn't keep eye contact or anything.

I'm kind of scared for my Mum to see me like this. I am also scared because the assessment details mentioned there may be questions about self-harming behaviours, which I have had a history of, but have never really spoken about to my parents. They know the basics, because at the time I was being treated for apparent depression but I think she might ask me the thoughts behind the actions because any behaviours I did have weren't a 'I hate my self' sort of consequence, but merely it was the only way at the time I knew how to ground myself, and as soon as I learnt a healthier way I stopped. But I am afraid I won't be able to say everything in front of my Mum, and I am also afraid of appearing to be faking things because some behaviours that would indicated Aspergers more strongly only tend to come out when I am not at home with my parents. I have only had a few meltdowns with them and I got very good at hiding myself away for a lot of that kind of stuff.

(My assessment is also being done at home, and in a weird way, I am scared of it happening badly at home because I tend to associate places with feelings and I don't want that to happen.)

I wrote down several pages of stuff I want to say, basically, at the assessment. I thought it was a good way of being prepared, but I was wondering if I'd be allowed to hand her the pages if I felt I wasn't saying it right or it wasn't coming out right. I often find it far easier to write notes to people than talk when it comes to emotional/personal stuff.

Is this allowed? Or do I have to say it all? I will try, I'm just worried if I get anxious I'll go weird and Mum being there will basically make me want to leave because I am not good at melting down in front of people and it will all be very embarrassing and make my Mum upset.

Did anyone else write things down for an assessment?

i understand why you are afraid of your mother seeing a different side of you, i'd be the same.

it shouldn't be unreasonable to ask to have the majority of the assessment without your mother present; she doesn't have to be there for a large part of it. just the history, as you mentioned.

I see that, dreadfull, such a situation would have made me completely mute,
my parents had the ability to turn that sort of situations into some judging tribunals,
or it was percieved like that by me, while being mute and covered with all sorts of accusations.

Hope it works well for you, though.

You should send a note to the the Dr. containing the concerns you have expressed here, and do it now rather than just before the assessment, that we she can be prepared.

It's no problem bringing notes, but the Doctor will be interested in observing your interaction with her and with some items that will be part of the assessment. She will not insist that your mother be present through the interviews and tests--unless she is quite obtuse, she will probably have your mum in one room and you in another for most of the process.

When I took my son to be assessed, I was only with him for part of the process.

I am going to be the outlier here. Your mom should see the true you and what you have to go through. If you are going to reveal, I would tell her before the assessment. The big caveat is I do not know your mom and you do.