How long did it take to figure your life out?

Post Reply New Topic

As someone who can't help feeling lost, I'm wondering how long it took other Aspies to figure things out?

Like, when did you find a job you were successful at and/or enjoyed doing? When did you discover your talent? When did you become okay with socializing? Or become okay with being a true introvert with only the most minimal contact with others? What helped you reach a place of contentment and personal acceptance?

Hasn't happened yet.

I may not have one.

I'm okay for a time. Then I turn into a pumpkin.

I'm more comfortable on my own now.

Finding out that I have autism, a cocktail of medications, greater societal awareness.

I got really lucky where career was concerned and accidentally fell into a dream job while still in High School - however, that didn't keep me from having an unstable work history and getting fired repeatedly for my autistic handicaps - although, had I been diagnosed back then, it might have been legally more difficult for employers to fire me and they'd have been required to accommodate my disability.

I have no "talents," however, I do have "acquired skills," meaning there are things I have learned to be good at, by sheer stubborn repetition.

I have never been okay with socializing, though I found it much easier in a group of other misfits with similar obsessions. Aside from that, I'm not much better than I've ever been. If we share some interests, we'll get along fine, if not, its going to be a long, quiet interlude.

I'm okay being an introvert and misanthrope most of the time, but even solitude has an overdose point and I think I'm reaching it, because I actually feel physically ill with loneliness sometimes lately.

Hmm, contentment and personal acceptance. Have I reached that? In a sense, I suppose I have - I mean, I don't hate myself for being who I am and I wouldn't even say I hate my autism (I'm not sure you can even separate the two - if I had grown up NT, I'd be a completely different person). However, I am as frustrated as I ever was by neurotypcial society and their lack of comprehension or compassion for the obstacles autistics live with every day. I used to blame myself (and so did everyone else) for my dysfunctionality, but now I realize its a disability I have no real control over and I blame the rest of the world for not cutting me some slack.

That will be a work in progress until the day I die! However after reaching my half century the confusions which still remained became much clearer much faster in much more context and my understanding of life, events, myself increased exponentially from that point. I am a very reflective person by nature, and yet it still took me that long to knit a lot of things together into their true pattern. However I have had a very full and somewhat unusual life -so there were a huge amount of strands to knit together. I suspect other people may achieve the "finished garment" either earlier in life than I did, or not at all. Some people seem to have no interest at all in making sense of the bigger picture, others (like me) are somehow compelled to consider, reflect, make patterns of sense from seemingly unrelated events so that the big themes are more clear. Personality and intellect seem to be two factors affecting that, as well as life events. The older I get, the more perspective and insight I seem to have on the past. It now seems a much richer country (the past) than when I was a passing through visitor there...

I think I started understanding myself as a kid, but because I tried to fit in with society, I "hid" myself.

I was a "little professor", adept with big words. I also read a lot, including newspapers. I consequently dumbed myself down so I can be just like Joe and Mary from down the block.

I hid my sexuality so I wouldn't be picked on for being gay.

I Americanized my name so people won't make fun of it. I made it simple and much more pronounceable.

I tried to dress like everyone else while I eschewed the way I'd normally dress, which is, plain and with no eye to current styles.

I also American my accent so people won't make fun of the way I speak.

Last, but mot least, I became an alcoholic and drug addict because that was what surrounded me anyway.

I'm slowly changing back to my old self. I don't hide my intelligence anymore. I stopped drinking and using drugs. Hell, I even gave up meat, fish and root vegetables because I've adopted Jainism as a guide.The current weight loss is even bringing me back to my high school weight. You can kind of say I'm regressing but I'm perfectly okay with it. I'm done trying to force myself into the round hole as a square peg. I'm odd, weird, quirky, stim constantly, withdrawn and bothered by loud sounds so I pretty much just get movies from the library and watch them. I'd say I'm figuring my life out pretty well.

1) As someone who can't help feeling lost, I'm wondering how long it took other Aspies to figure things out?

Life is an ongoing adventure.

2) Like, when did you find a job you were successful at and/or enjoyed doing?

That's just half the battle. My question now is, how do you deal with office politics?

3) When did you discover your talent?

Learned a whole lot about my abilities at age 7 ... That said, didn't find out until I was middle-aged that I'm an artist!

4) When did you become okay with socializing?

I'm okay with it ... Now if only other people would become okay with me.

5) Or become okay with being a true introvert with only the most minimal contact with others?

I've considered being a solitary artist.

6) What helped you reach a place of contentment and personal acceptance?

Life is an ongoing adventure.

...

Never, and it doesn't bother me. It seems that people with all the answers are either short sighted, or trying to sell you something.

For the most part until about 28 or so.
I'm getting ready to turn 30 in a few months.

Now executing my life plan is another story...

In my case, it was out of luck. I won't know until I try.


Just after realizing how focus is so useful.


There are times that I do, there are times that I don't.


There is a time when I kept myself quiet and trying to be invisible at most times, for nearly 2 years. There is no shame to it.


Things that I learn... That I might unlearn to learn something else, but can relearn to learn something else.

I'm still struggling to find a job I'm good at but I now have a goal in mind for fora career. I will have to study first of all.

As for being an introvert I'm proper fine with how I am now and with my bad traits as well as good ones. Nobody is perfect. I started to feel more comfortable once I got more control of how I live and my parents less.

Still trying at 48 yrs

Still processing .....wait.....still processing ......wait.....still processing ......wait!! !! !

I have been trying to figure out my life pretty much since I was young.

Without a doubt, learning about Asperger’s (in December, 2012) and subsequently being diagnosed (in April 2013) has helped me understand myself better than anything else. Because, prior to that, I tried to “fight” who I was and become someone I was not.

I am quite OK being an introvert (with limited social contact). I still am trying to understand my “talent”. I still have not achieved contentment. As I worry obsessively about everything. I have the feeling that I will continue to do so (worry obsessively), until the moment that I die. And, it will be at that moment, when I will finally achieve inner peace. Hopefully.

Not yet

When I thought I had it all figured out I had it all wrong. At the age of 18 I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life and was going in the right direction. Turns out I didn't and I probably wasn't.

31 years and still counting...