I'm autistic but am unclear if this is a stim, tic, compulsion, ADHD trait, or symptom of Restless Leg Syndrome (spread to my whole body). I get intense restlessness in one body part and need to vigorously stimulate that area to satisfy the urge. Usually it's the ball of my foot, toes, or palm of my hand, but on occasion it might be my forearms, calf, shoulder, or another place. It isn't an ache, and it isn't a tingle--it is just a sensation of restlessness. I need to rapidly flex my muscles, prick myself, or vigorously rub (using something that has a rough texture) for PARTIAL relief. A lot of times this ends up spreading to my entire body. Let's say I start with the sensation in my foot--I would relieve the sensation by scrunching my toes repeatedly, but then start nodding my head back and forth. Another example might be rubbing a stick over my hands and somewhere along the way I start swaying my hips.
I am confused about how to label this. It isn't entirely involuntary, but isn't voluntary, either. It often happens unconsciously, and while I can get it to stop, the moment my brain gets diverted to something else (I think about what I want to make for dinner, I start typing an email, etc.), it starts up again. This behavior sometimes helps me concentrate, but it honestly can get really distracting to me. I can never satiate the urge to move; the motions become more and more vigorous until I can no longer focus on what I'm doing. It seemed like these motions occur more frequently when I'm doing something boring (reviewing my bank statement, reading dull article, etc.), but I've been told I make these movements even when I'm doing something that I enjoy and am mentally absorbed.
I have a very weird relationship with these movements in terms of my energy levels. These actions typically arouse my attention, but sometimes they leave me so exhausted that I randomly fall asleep in the middle of what I'm doing. I feel so fatigued, but I still can't stop engaging in these repetitive motions, so eventually I shut down and nap. I don't think there is really a pattern in terms of time of day: I engage in these behaviors regardless of what time it is or how tired I am. They aren't triggered by anxiety or mood.
What are these? Stims, tics, compulsions? Something else? I really want to get a handle on whatever these repetitive motions are because they ultimately cause a lot of distress. I get calluses from vigorously rubbing my skin and muscle aches from repeatedly flexing my joints. Any advice on how to control this phenomenon would be much appreciated. I am on a stimulant medication but it hasn't helped in this area at all (note that these behaviors have been present for most of my life and did not develop after taking this medication).
31 May 2015, 5:53 pm
