Do you find yourself having to convince people you have AS?

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I'll start by explaining my title.

I'm still not sure I have asperger's since I'm not clinically diagnosed. I think I've finally convinced myself I am, in fact, an aspie though. I know there's an ongoing debate about whether or not one can, or should self-diagnose AS, but for some reason, it's the path I've chosen to take. I hope I don't offend anyone.

After I had convinced myself, I decided to ask a couple friends I think I could trust to help me come to a conclusion without being biased, but out of three, they all have said no.

The first person I asked was my closest friend, so I thought he would have seen the traits more than anyone else. I asked via text, and his response was "dude, you're crazy! you don't have asperger's syndrome.." I can't help but think he's trying to protect me in a way. Telling me what I want to hear. Maybe even with some personal protection by thinking, "I can't have a friend with a DISORDER!"

Next friend I asked is pretty close. We used to be best friends for YEARS up until 2008 or so. I asked him because I have a strong suspicion he falls somewhere on the spectrum as well, so maybe he could relate better. He said, "I thought I might have that too after I watched a movie called Adam (he is obsessed with movies) but then I read a book called "pretending to be normal" and it made me feel like I didn't have it. I proceeded to look it up on WP and a lot of responses mentioned they couldn't relate to the author either. I encouraged him to take a deeper look into it and he said he would. Haven't heard back from him yet.

Finally, earlier today I asked an old youth pastor what he thought because he is excellent at thinking logically, not emotionally, and I told him straight up I don't want you to water down your opinion in order to try and make me feel better. His response was certainly the most in-depth and thought out answer I've recieved. He initially said no, but after an hour long discussion about ADD (which i have been diagnosed with mild ADD-if that's possible) and pretty much just psychology in general, he seemed to be warming up to the idea. His final answer was to contact the local university and see if I can find someone who would like to "have a look at me."


Ok. Getting back to my original question. After having been formally diagnosed, have you told anyone? If so, did it take some convincing for them to actually believe you? Finally, why do you think that might be?

First, about being self-diagnosed, I was in that position for a few months before I went to make it official. You have to start somewhere. The first few people I told (before I got my diagnosis) didn't believe me. I told one of the people in my class at uni that I had asperger's and she just straight out said 'no you don't'. She has a son with autism so I thought she would understand but I guess I was wrong. One of my closer friends that I told didn't believe me either until I found out that the reason was because she thought that asperger's was the most severe form of autism. When I realised that there was a misunderstanding all I had to do was clear it up and tell her that I only had a mild autism and now she's ok. But there was also a couple of people who go to my karate and my mum told them. I don't know what she said but they believed her straight away. Maybe it's the way you say it? I just came straight out and said 'I have asperger's' but maybe there's a way of saying that makes people more likely to believe you.

Thanks for the input! Instead of telling them, I asked them if they thought I had it. maybe that's the problem. And I'm reluctant to try and persuade them or anything before I get a proper diagnosis, because I don't want to persuade them when I might not even have it in the first place. Even though I'm pretty sure I have it. ha

No. I don't have to explain. People usually think I am a weirdo.

I felt that way too. That's why I wanted a diagnosis. I didn't really need it. AS doesn't cause me that many problems. But it just didn't feel credible saying I had it when I didn't actually know. It felt like I was lying to myself or something. Now that I've actually been told by a psychiatrist that I have an autism spectrum disorder leaning towards asperger's (his exact words) I don't feel those doubts anymore.

have faith in your own diagnosis nobody knows you better than yourself
and yes people find it hard to believe I have aspergers even though I have an official diagnosis because I am attractive and I have spent a hell of a lot of time trying to teach my self social skills.
and people are shallow.

I am so relieved to have- a, found out I have AS and b, found WP!
I've only been on here 2 or 3 days and everyone has been so helpful and informative I am truly at a loss for words! I had a feeling I was going to be looked at as a Poser or something, but I haven't felt that way at all. perhaps I have finally found people that I can relate to on a deeper level intellectually.

Well, is there any reason to think that any of those people are clinical psychologists (or psychiatrists) with lots of experience with adult autism spectrum disorders? Because - unless they are - their opinion is not going to be worth very much.

I didn't tell many people about my suspected AS until I got a diagnosis. The main person I told was a friend with 25 years experience raising two or three children on the spectrum. She just smiled when I told her about my high score on the AQ Test and said "I thought you might be". But it wouldn't surprise me if other people I told were not convinced. They might have all sorts of false ideas about what an Aspie is like - it is not their area of experience.

Also, I think it is fairly common for people with a new diagnosis of AS to get skeptical responses from their friends or acquaintances, including their family. Sometimes the friends etc think they are being supportive, when they may be having the opposite effect. To many NTs, AS means being "weird" or "defective", so they think they are being helpful by telling you they don't think you have AS: they don't think you are weird or defective. But if AS is a (new) part of your identity, if it means a lot to you because it finally makes sense of your whole life and also means you have strengths as well as weaknesses, then being told that you don't have AS can be alienating and unhelpful.

For one, I've never given my friends enough info besides wikipedia about aspergers. When I've told friends, they haven't exactly disagreed but not quite agreed either. When I describe aspergers, they have some doubts and one friend said I was very mild. I told my neuroscience prof who happen to be also an educational specialist who's worked with plenty on the spectrum. She didn't know, tho she didn't exactly doubt me either but it wasn't evident to her. I've only had 1 friend who didn't doubt or question at all. But he's the one who understood me the best out of everyone so...?

A few times, with NVLD, it's a bit easier to rationally explain, all I have to say is "my verbal IQ is ___ and my nonverbal IQ is ____" and usually it's enough explanation. Some people have been like "NO YOU GOT BIPOLAR!" or something ridiculous like that. Others, still, have said "oh, it's just because the way you're raised" or something like that.

One time to finally get a guy to accept my NVLD, I was driving with him, I basically told him my NVLD requires me to literally think through everything I do. So I'm driving, he tells me to go into a lane that's more like the shoulder, I refuse, since I can't see that I would, A make it in, B, that it'd be legal to do. He thinks that's odd, then another time, pedestrians went out in front of me, he got all pissed off and yelling at the pedestrians, and me I was just completely silent. I explained to him my emotions don't "work" the same way other people do, basically it required a long talk.

When I was diagnosed for the third time (yeah, you read it right), I told my mom, who said that I had been diagnosed with autism twice already but she just didn't want to tell me. So I didn't have to convince her. And my brothers suspected I had it, so I didn't have to convince them either.

I find that I have to remind people that I have it especially when they expect me to do things that I am unable to do. I also feel like with my family they expect me to be little miss social butterfly who has a perfect job and blah blah blah... I find that when I point out that I have aspergers that they ignore that all together...

In general I find that people just over look the fact that I say I have aspergers... Idk if they just don't know what it is or just don't care

Yeah, everyone I've told has been (or acted, but I believe it was genuine) very surprised. "But you don't lack empathy!" is the common response, because they falsely interpret that facet of AS to mean we can't have sympathy for others.

I've said this on here before, but I also attribute this to the fact that I am covered in tattoos, and wear punk band shirts/shoes, so people think I'm just eccentric for being "punk rock." If I wasn't like that, I think it would be much, much more glaringly obvious how "odd" I am.

Nope. I never feel I have to convince anyone of it. If they choose not to believe me, it doesn't change the truth. I know what the reality is, and that's all that matters. I don't give rat's arse what anyone else thinks or believes.

True friends ask questions and don't judge. Those who simply dismiss my Autism are not friends, and matter very little to me.

I've never had to convince someone of me having AS, but ai have gotten 'but Asperger's isn't being autistic, it's only being socially awkward, not like real autism.' I'm still trying to figure out how to respond to that.

No. I often try to convince *myself* I *don't* have AS.
In fact I don't want people to know I have been diagnosed with AS.
However people do think I'm schizophrenic which I've never been screened for however currently have more psychosis issues than AS issues besides the social confusion.. Which makes me question if I am becoming schizo..