Did you doubt your official diagnosis?

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I dunno why I am doubting it THIS much, except maybe I hope that I didn't ASK for this diagnosis and just get it. Do any of you know what I mean?

Am I the only one denying or not feeling "right" about being diagnosed with Asperger's??? What helps?

Does it really matter? Whether your symptoms are AS or some weird coincidence that just looks like AS, you've still got them.

Move forward. Get the help you need for the stuff that you need it. Be mindful of the other stuff regardless.

Beckula I spent many months as a self diagnosed Aspie being very angry that the universe had conspired to kick me where it hurts. My initial response after DX was that the Psychiatrist was not properly taking my age into account. Since then I have gotten indications that she may very well be spot on in her DX of me, it just wasn't what I expected to hear. The good thing for me was that I was not a lone oddball anymore. Then I thought about the bad part, the part that struck me as being bad was that my desire to work hard and somehow turn normal was dashed. My fantasy of not being this way for life got me through a couple of tough patches, and losing it was no fun. I don't know if this relates to your experience or not. I think it had everything to do with some depression and anger that I went through. You'll adjust fine Beckula.

Yes, I've doubted. I did not self-dx before an official dx, though, so I don't have much experience in feeling like you've "asked" to be diagnosed--though I have wondered whether my parents inappropriately influenced the diagnostic process. I'm the only introvert and aspie-like person within my immediate family--naturally they would think there's something serious going on with me. I thought maybe they exaggerated some of my problems, or that the doctor who diagnosed me defined AS too loosely. She did say I was "very, very mild" compared to most, after all. I was quite resistant to thinking that something like "that" (i.e. ASD) could be relevant for me.

How did I come to (mostly) accept it? That's hard to say. I did talk honestly to the diagnosing doctor about it, and she showed me my file, complete with charts which demonstrated "abnormal brain activity" based on behavioral charts, mostly filled out by my parents. I was surprised by some of the things which other people (including a high-school teacher) said about me, but the various papers and rating scales did indicate that the psychologist didn't just make the diagnosis on a whim. (For a while, I had that weird idea.) I've also gone over the criteria with another therapist, and we talked about how each one applies to me in particular--not just what you see in general readings.

I know it's ridiculous, but validation of the diagnosis from others has made me feel more comfortable about it. When one of the deans at my college picked it up without my telling her a few minutes after meeting me (albeit when I was extremely stressed out), that was pretty convincing.

Another major thing which has helped was meeting another member of this site, who is now my long-term boyfriend. Knowing about AS, I could easily see that he has it--and that if he does, then I must have it, too, because there are just so many freakish similarities between us. Of course, I was extremely lucky. I've met AS people who I don't relate to at all, and that just makes me doubt. It's quite complicated, and I hope you have an easier time of accepting a dx than I did.

I would have never considered the possibility if my son had not been diagnosed. My tendency is to research prior to working with a doctor so that I can discuss things rationally and in an informed manner. In a way, there is a part of me that feels that I invited the diagnosis of bipolar, as it was the closest parallel I could draw - now the psychiatrist I have been seeing refuses to consider the alternatives. At this point, a diagnosis would be a relief.


M.

To answer briefly, yes.

Now back to normal. When I was first Dxed, even though I had been researching here and elsewhere and thought that I "could" be AS (enough for me to actually follow through with talking to a stranger )...I did wonder. One of my first,rather cynical thoughts was...."This person just wants me to have AS so he can have a new client to counsel....ie...he is a specialist for AS and if I didn't have AS then that would be one less in his client base. Only problem with this seemingly logical conclussion is...he was already back logged with people coming for DX's. Once again, proving that I am not the center of the universe


I think for me to believe this DX 100% I would need a genetic marker or MRI proving it...unfortunately, they haven't developed such a thing. I think for some of us who have been missDXed in the past, it does make sense to question ANY DX. (hums "I wont be fooled again"....off key)

QFT.
My experience of getting this dx was a lot like that.
Had never heard of any sort of autism other than the obvious massive public idea stereotype.

Then, to have this weird new dx conferred upon me by some shrink ? I thought he was out of his gourd, as the saying goes-that he was "the crazy one" for suggesting such an outlandish notion.

Took many weeks, months, years, to gradually get used to it-and even now I still have attacks of doubt & panic, because it's (Asperger's, or autism that's not so "blatant"-sorry, tough to find neutral phrase for what I'm saying-someone who seems normal "enough"-whatever that means !) new concept for me as well as for most of society.

I'd had plenty of previous dx's that went nowhere, yet no one (incl. me) had better, more fitting (after a lot of wriggling & utter rejection of the label) & comprehensive (accounts for enough aspects of me rather than only explaining little circumscribed bits) than other dx's.

In retrospect I do have to give the shrink "props"-'cause he was first one to connect this dx to my lifelong problems. It has been informative & useful way to consider my issues: more productive/constructive/positive.

I doubted mine for a while because I felt I would read other people better if I did eye contact and paid more attention to what was going on around me. Plus the fact I'm shy so it make it hard for me to meet new people, make friends, get a boyfriend, etc. so no wonder I was still single in my teens till I was 20. Also the fact I don't think I had routines when I was little but they didn't start till I was maybe in my teens because of my anxiety, also the fact I was bullied so I learned how to turn off my feelings because bullies want to hurt you and if you don't show your true feelings, they will think they aren't getting to you so they finally leave you alone. My shrink said that was a coincidence when I was 17 but I didn't believe him because how would he know?
Also the fact I was deaf so maybe it caused my brain to wire differently so it made me be this way. But then my current shrink told me hearing loss doesn't cause someone to act this way, also I have been told on here by a few aspies normal kids would have recovered from their AS symptoms a long time ago.
But I have an uncle who may have AS and a cousin too and I can remember my mother saying her sister Sue might have it and I can remember my Dad saying his mother has it. I didn't believe him at first because I had never seen any symptoms from her. But when my dad started to say what symptoms she has, I started to believe him that she may have it. here was the only thing I noticed about her, organizing, she loved to have thing organized. To me that was her personality trait because it was something she liked doing, not part of a condition.
So I thought maybe I was an NT with AS symptoms but the only reason why I got the diagnoses was so my parents could get me the education I needed so I thought the whole DX thing I had was a hoax so that would mean I was cheating on the government.

I could have written this entire post...scary...

Thanks for all the responses

You know the stupid thing? I'm officially diagnosed with Asperger's, and actually fit criteria for Kanner's, if barely. That and some mental-health issues have me on disability--and the government doesn't just give away money; they interviewed my friends and examined me and had me fill out about a million things. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist who has a son with Asperger's. You'd think that this would make me pretty sure my diagnosis is correct.

And there's still this sneaky little thought that says, "You're not really an Aspie! You're just faking it because you want to get out of socializing and do stuff you like instead!" The logical part of me says, "Yeah, but if you're (a) not particularly socially anxious and (b) willing to 'fake' something to get out of socializing, (c) willingly do social stuff you're interested in, like playing D&D or working at a cat shelter, and (d) don't fit schizoid personality disorder, then what else could it be?" But my subconscious won't listen to reason. It never does. Probably years of being told I was just being a bad little kid and should 'just stop it'. Meh.

Yes because I second guess almost everything.

Not really, no. There's been times I've tried to force myself to not have it, but I've never really doubted. Getting my diagnosis was not really upsetting, it was more of a 'Thank god, I'm not really crazy' moment. To be fair, my mom is a doctor, and so had had the training to differenciate the fact and fiction of Asperger's, and not freak out about it. I suspect that it's much easier to accept your diagnosis when the people around you are reassuring and informed.

I've also found some of the Asperger's self help books way too helpful to doubt it. I don't know if I view myself as perminantly disabled, but I definately have Asperger's.

I sometimes doubt my Autistic Disorder one because I can communicate with my mother, sister and doctors adequately, then I see how I can't socialize at all (whether I want to or not), and my social impairment is seen as "aloof" [and "passive" to my mother, sister and doctors]. I've never been "active and odd" in my life, plus I had speech and cognitive delays (it has been determined that I would have had a ret*d IQ when my speech was severely ret*d).

I haven't caught up to a level of AS, as people with AS can socialize [for the most part]. They just have extreme difficulty with it; in my case, I can't do it (it's simply not there).

I guess I sometimes doubt how "severe" I am, and then I try my best to be objective and look at all of the evidence; I always arrive to Autistic Disorder with everything I have read, as a child, and now.

My diagnosis is as right as it's written in the textbooks.

It's kinda telling when I indentify with Rain Man, and several of the individuals with Autistic Disorder around here rather than those I've seen with AS, and those with such here.

Never doubted at all.

I knew I had it from about the age of 16.... and when I was in Uni, I specifically spoke to the people in the disabilities department at UCL about getting the "diagnosis" formalised (so I would have the medical papers to shove in peoples' faces)... They got me the e-mail address of a certain J.Jamieson, who happens to be a specialist who has written books on the matter, and I got my formal diagnosis at the age of 21.

The only thing that did give me pause for thought though was that she mentioned that despite showing most of the "symptoms", she thought I had learnt to cope unusually well with it. I put it down to having to learn things the hard way throughout my childhood... being treated like a freak for so long that it didn't phase me any more and I could just get on with my existence regardless.

I doubt it.

I sometimes doubt the idea of an autism spectrum disorder at all.

It was suggested to me that I may have a yet undefined neurological disorder.

Whatever?

But I'm sure I have a PDD. That's out of question.

When you are alone without people or just with your boyfriend/girlfriend you don't have as. You have it when others people around.