Your first impressions of people

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How are you with “first impressions” when you meet people?

I’m just thinking back to my first meeting with certain people who I’ve later come to know, and realized that my “first impression” of them was, more often than not, quite wrong.

Several years ago I was working in a store, and my manager introduced me to a new girl she’d just hired. The girl was standing very still, arms at her sides, and she gave me a very forced-looking, tight-lipped smile. To me she just looked almost disgusted to be standing there. My immediate first thought was, “oh my God, they hired this girl? She seems so grumpy and unfriendly and…. bitchy! !” But later, when we had our first shift together, I quickly realized she was actually very friendly and had a great sense of humour – she was like a completely different person! We actually became very good friends (a rarity for me).

We even joked later about that first meeting - she said the reason she looked so uncomfortable was because she was intimidated by me! She said I barely glanced at her and I didn’t even smile – so she immediately thought I was a stuck-up b***h!

During that meeting, I seriously thought I had been smiling and trying to appear friendly. Obviously I failed. So does that mean I CAN read other people’s body language, but since I can’t express my own (something that took me years to figure out), that in turn affects the other person’s body language towards ME - but since I don’t know that I’m appearing unfriendly, I become confused when THEY appear unfriendly to me?? And it all just turns into one big misunderstanding??

Or is it BOTH – during our first meeting, SHE didn’t actually seem nervous or uncomfortable to me – she just struck me as cold and unfriendly. Would an NT have known the difference between nervousness and plain unfriendliness? Or would there even have been a difference in a case like this?

She’s the only person I’ve ever actually “analyzed” the first-impression with like this, and we both still laugh about it years later, but I’ve noticed that most people I come to know (even as acquaintances) end up not matching the “first impression” profile I create when I first meet them.

I know that I often come across as angry and snappy because of my blunt communication style, tone of voice, and hard stare. I never really knew how I came across to other people until I was diagnosed and started making myself more aware of it. Since I've been working hard on these things, I have definitely noticed that people seem more relaxed around me. As for reading her, maybe an NT would have immediately assumed she was nervous because she was new on the job, but I wouldn't have been able to take that into consideration so fast. I would have read her the same way you did; I would have assumed she was just unpleasant and probably would have initially been unpleasant back!

first impresions usually go, "hi" and "hello" after that i feel like the other guy is sizing me up, so i dont really say anything i let them do all the talking i just listen,,boy im a good listener thats for shure

girls dont even get me started. i use to know what to talk about to girls in the mid 90s now though i have no clue

Usually wrong, but then I am an eternal pessimist in some cases and an eternal optimist in others.

They mean a lot to me!

This may sound strange, but I usually end up rejecting people if I don't have a good first impression of them!

I can't read body language.... so the first i know that someone fancies me or hates me is when they hit or kiss me....

which of course i find disturbing seeing as i havent expected... though obviously i'd prefer one over the other

I scare people sometimes. They think I'm angry, preppy, arrogant and/or crazy. And I need more than first impressions to really know each other.

Frequently, I prefer to be alone. If I meet someone who is very talkative and touch me a lot, he/she is automatically in my black list .

When I meet someone my first impression of them doesn't usually have much of an effect on me. Maybe that's my AS.

I am the opposite way.

That's why I very carefully chose the roommate that I hired.

My first impressions are pretty much always right.

You just have to really take some important things into account, don't you?

Almost always dead on right.

Is that how you analyze?