Being in between Asperger's and "normal"

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So i was diagnosed at age 10 and am now 18
The older i grow the less i have in common with aspies but still am awkward with neurotypical people.
I feel i am somewhere in the middle of being a aspie and "normal" and it's a really hard state to be in because i feel like i don't fit in anywhere.
I have taken a bunch of aspie tests like the one on rdos.net and always come back as neurotypical.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 84 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 127 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
Has anyone else on here have dealt with this sort of thing?
Thanks in advance

Could it be that you've learned over the years how to be less socially awkward and mimic NTs better now?

Maybe you're just antisocial.

Residue Asperger's perhaps?

Yes, my therapist said almost this exact phrase to me. I'm too socially awkward to fit in with neurotypicals, but I'm not "weird" enough to fit in with a lot of others on the spectrum. I joined the ASD club in college last year, but I was an outcast there, as well as at a camp for people with mental disorders.

I feel the same way. There are times when I'm reading up about Asperger's on Google or going on WP, and thinking "wow, maybe I don't have Asperger's at all."

But then I think "but I am quite awkward around people in general, and don't make friends that easily, so I must have Asperger's."

But I do have social anxiety. In a group I normally stay quiet because I'm afraid of saying or doing something that will make me feel stupid.

I'm sorry, but I have to criticize the title of the post before I begin. By what standards does one measure "normal"? As my therapist has been teaching me lately, there probably really is no such thing as "normal" - between Developmental Disorders, Behavior Disorders, Mood Disorders, Intellectual Disability, and Personality Disorders, humanity really is quite fractured when it comes to "normality". Plus, considering that each individual is unique, normality, in my mind, would suggest that at least two people on Earth are not unique in any way whatsoever - that they're pretty much, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same. We might think there are "Neuro-typicals" who are all "normal", but that's just how they appear to us on the outside, exactly the same - we know nothing about the them on the inside until we get to know them more, and realize that they're not all the same.

I also have a hypothesis (nothing new, really) that normality arises from the way a society is structured culturally, ethnically, and ideologically (e.g., autistic people have a hard time in the U.S., U.K., and especially France because a lot of us struggle with language, and it doesn't help that English and French are a couple of the least phonetic languages in the Western World - I was fortunate enough to be the opposite, as I picked up on language very easily, and have even learned some Spanish and Russian; it's just my idiosyncracies and poor conversational skills that get in the way). Also, consider this - black people have rough times in all-white communities, and homosexuals have rough times in all-heterosexual communities. Muslims have hard times in all-Christian communities, and Socialists have hard times in all-Capitalist communities, and so on and so forth. It's all about homogeneity + deviants/outliers and status quo.

Like you, I have a hard time fitting in with both non-autistics (not normal people, because we've established that there's no such thing) and aspies, in spite of the fact that I usually score in the low-mid 30s out of 50 on most AQ tests. As my therapist puts it "I think you're just f***in' weird! But in a good way!" And he can relate to it too, which is the neat thing about our friendship.

I'm too different to be normal but too normal to be different.