Scared in Urban Areas?

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So my husband and I decided to take our teenage kids to the Los Angeles Public Library today, the main one, in downtown. I thought I could handle it. I grew up in a suburb and I've been living in what I thought was a fairly urban area.

I was so wrong.

I had a complete meltdown in the car once we got into downtown. It was too much for me to handle. My husband asked me why I was scared and all I could get out was that it was too new, too much, too unfamiliar, too overwhelming, too many buildings, too many cars, too many one-way streets (which scare me to death anyway)... too many things to process and not enough processor space. I'm very glad he was the one driving.

I've just now stopped shaking after twenty minutes inside the library, where it's at least quiet and cool and nobody is bothering me. I'm incredibly embarrassed about this. My kids keep saying "Dad, are you all right?" and I don't know what to say.

Is anyone else overwhelmed by urban environments? And more important, does anyone have any suggestions for how to handle this? I felt like I was going to suffocate looking out at the buildings that block out the sky. It was like being in a haunted house attraction (another thing I avoid like the plague). I'm dreading the walk back to the parking garage and the drive out.

i have always lived in the middle of the capitol in my country. The capitol has about 1 million people living there, but i have just gotten used to it i think. Some sounds, like the tram make me calm and others like motorcycles make me feel unsafe. Try to slowly expose yourself to the environment, but "rig" the situation so that you are most likely to succeed, not fail.

Urban environments take some getting used to.

Im used to it because I was born and raised in a city of 8 million people.

I'm sorry you felt this way, OP. The more you expose yourself, the more you will get used to it.

I recommend reading Plato's "Allegory of a Cave." It's all about overcoming being overwhelmed.

I don't get particularly scared by urban environments (except when the risk of being attacked is significant), probably because I'm rather used to them, but I do get pretty annoyed and "depressed" by them. I might get anxious if I thought I had no way of escaping them when they were becoming too much. So my advice is to make sure there's always a quick exit available, which might be difficult if you've arrived by car and parked it in a multi-storey car park. I've noticed that if I play my favourite music through headphones or earpieces, that seems to zone me out quite nicely - at least one of my senses is then receiving something that could be called aesthetically pleasant. There's also the possibility of having a bit of comforting food with you. Many urban dystopias have an oasis or two such as a nice quiet cafe, or a park with swans or something. I try to plan ahead so that I don't have to be immersed in a horrible environment for too long.

City is fine for me.
I also like country and wilderness.
What I don't like is suburbs.
Streets and streets of people's houses feels suffocating to me.

I use earphones with music or earplugs too, to block out painful noises. I also find that if I can distract myself with something that engages my mind, that keeps me from focusing on overwhelming emotions so much. I talk to my wife, if she's along, or I'll make lists in my head: birds (a special interest), state capitals, band names, anything to keep me focusing on thinking instead of panicking. I'll alphabetize them or do things by region or date for an extra challenge. If making lists is what I do, why not put it to work?

Maybe you could think of your special interest, if you have one (perhaps silently so folks don't stare)? If you like mechanical things, assemble something in your head. Recite facts to yourself (don't get so distracted you have trouble walking or driving safely). If you are musical, sing... whatever is a thing that gives you comfort.

My wife was with me on the subway, and it was packed and hot. I was getting pretty overwhelmed, and must have looked it. She asked me if I was okay, and all I said was, "...Honolulu, Indianapolis, Jacksonville..." and we both laughed, since she knows my coping "trick".

Ugh, yes, I hate urban areas. I cant handle them at all. Heck, my definition of "urban" is a bit different, since it's as far as I'm willing to go.

What I consider an "urban" area:



Which isnt actually a very big area. That building to the far left is about as tall/large as they get. The big fat one in the distance is just a parking garage. Yet still, even with that area being not any worse than what you see in that pic, I avoid it like the plague.

The sorts of places I'm more used to:



Big open areas (or heavily forested) with broken down roads that go far out to who knows where. Most of Illinois looks like this. These areas, I'm comfortable in. And they're not as ugly.

So yeah.... just a bit of a contrast though.

Of course, what most people consider "urban" is more like downtown Chicago... you couldnt pay me to go to that horrible concrete hellhole. I've been there only a few times, and absolutely loathed every minute of it. Awful place that just makes me even more paranoid than usual.

I dont know how anyone deals with places like that. It doesnt help that the news is always reporting murders and gang crap in that awful nightmare city. I mean, good grief. Just.... ugh. Horrible indeed. I refuse to go anywhere near it.

Yep

Too much going on for my sensory system.

Hell on earth if there ever is one (yeah, "is". It's hell).