A question of Severity, and unattended adaptation.

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In my research(damnit, I should stop self-diagnosing like an idiot and tend to this professionally), it seems to all fit with being an aspie, save for the fact that i have a decent grasp and ability with empathy. I don't remember much of my childhood... although I kinda do remember not understanding why people were in pain etc etc etc. As if I had a lack of empathy at a young age, which was attributed to my ADHD most likely, and yet.... as I entered adolescence, I gained a grasp on it. One could say that I'm so empathic now, that I may be overcompensating. I get alot of False-positives, and as soon as I "burn" someone I realize it... What does that even mean? Did I adapt on my own? I mean I have high amounts of difficulty talking to people, interacting. A klutz, difficulty understanding some concepts, etc etc etc... Yet...

I dunno.. Have I adapted to a much lesser agree of severity that I have no right to ask for help, as I've learned to live with it this much without ever knowing what Aspergers is? Is it all in my head? I know... talk to a professional... but I wouldn't mind the opinions of the people who carry this.... "burden." can't really call it a curse given the way many of you have embraced this uniqueness...

I'm just incredibly concerned, and most of all, confused. It's just... How severe does it have to be to be recognized, and can you adapt and grow past it unattended? And Have I?

Thank you for your time.

I can definetely relate to this. I had no empathy whatsoever as a child but now as a 15 y.o I've sort of picked up on it more than most people ever do. It may just be that we empathise best with emotions we've felt ourselves and that once we get older we've had a chance to experience more of it.

So... hmm. It is possible. My hypothesis may hold water after all.

And you're right, it is sometimes like overcompensating.

Anyone else? Am I nuts?

Empathy is different from compassion. We learn empathy as we mature, so, yes, your theory has some merit.

We are lousy as knowing what someone is feeling, but once we understand, we understand completely. It's part of reading the social cues. We can feel sympathy and compassion. We aren't emotionless--we just get there differently.

Metta.

Soo...... I've learned to deal with some of this without even knowing about it....


I guess thats a good sign.

The key thing to remember is that AS is on a spectrum, so you can still be an aspie even if you only experience the signs to a 'mild' extent. If it is sufficient to have made you feel that you are 'different' and to have made you experience some difficulties with normal day to day activities, social interactions etc., then it can still mean that you are an aspie.

If you are an intelligent person, it is pretty likely that you will learn alternative ways to cope with the things that AS makes difficult which is why when you are older there may be some question as to whether you have AS or not. But if you had problems as a child and these have decreased as you got older, again, there could be an argument that you have AS but have developed good copiing and compensating skills.

Also, it sounds like you're a nice person - and that can help too! Even if you have AS, being a genuinely nice person, you will always try to empathise and have compassion and consideration for people. And, contrary to what some medical practicians think, it is possible to have AS and also be a lovely person!

Hope this helps.

Okay, I just realized my previous post was quite disorganized.. yes, I think you've probably learned to cope with age, as I have. And like girl7000 says, intelligence also helps.. what doesn't come naturally can be made up for with time, and you can have really mild AS but still be on the spectrum.

I myself wonder if there there actually is a spectrum with NTs on one end and severe autism on the other. I'd rather believe that it's a discrete relationship and that we can blend into them but still be significantly different cognitively. I'll do research on it with time.

EH, I figure everyone I know is trying to protect me in some way. Always thinking I'm vunerable. I dunno. I'm tired of it.

EDIT:

i'm finding that aspie people are mostly very kind and considerate.

I could have written that myself especially the memory thing. But your the first person here I think has a closer type of AS to me. I've struggled with empathy. I see it as different from sympathy, it is more a question of not being able to relate rather than not caring. Why do something when you can't relate? I think NT empathy can be superficial too. I don't get empathy in fictional stuff like TV dramas what is the point?

I think most here DO have empathy. Even diagnosed people HAVE said that!

Steve

If you don't mind hearing from a newbie... You can adapt. I am 40yrs old, and I only discovered Aspergers very recently, totally by chance. The list of symptoms gave me a chill, I've had them written down for years and years as a list of habits and traits that I work hard to 'correct'. I find that as I address some symptoms others seem to get worse, but it may just be my perception. Adaption, at least in my case, took a great deal of effort, and I think at times it may have exacerbated my (admittedly mild) comorbidities. After so many years I sometimes find it a little difficult to distinguish my true personality from learned adaptations. I also have incredible empathy, excessive perhaps, with pain that I have either personally experienced or understand through direct contact. I'm not sure what my new self diagnosis means to me yet, but I am thankful for this site.

We do have empathy, but it can seem as if we don't because we often don't understand other people's mental states. That's the crux of it. You can't empathize without understanding first. Some of us have empathy that is so strong we take on other people's emotions and can't shift back to where we were. Some of us have too much empathy when we understand what the other person is feeling.

Adaptation is necessary for public interactions. In your private life, you HAVE to be yourself or you will go insane. Everyone acts differently in public so I don't see that as anything speical we have to do except that it is much HARDER for us to do. It has taken me years to come to these conclusions and be able to adapt in public.